Scoobyween 15
by Chunk127
Summary: It's that time of the year again. Another 31 Halloween one shots.
1. Prologue

**On Earth 63,120 (The World's End Earth)**

Buffy looked at her hand and saw the triforce of wisdom… and a DVD? Buffy flipped it over and read the cover along with a picture of her Willow and Xander. 'Scoobyween 15 back to basics simpler and more fun.' She quickly opened a portal to the other end of the multiverse as far as she's concerned as she quickly threw the thing in and closed it. She saw the look Angel gave her. "I'll explain later."

* * *

 **On Earth 35**

After nearly seven months the DVD finds its way out of the portal and into another earth. It bounces off someone's head and falls to the floor. This world's Xander Harris turned around and saw the DVD on the floor. The thirty five year old carpenter looked at the cover in interest, if it's anything like last time this can be really bad. However, he has been looking for a chance to catch up with the girls. He picked up the phone and dialed his best friend. "Hey Will, yeah, can you grab Buffy and meet up at my place tonight? Nothing important not world ending… besides Liam and Anya are in Cleveland they'll give us a heads up if we're needed. Great, you'll talk to Buffy. OK, bye."

* * *

Buffy looked at the DVD she's aged gracefully looking almost the same. This is quite impressive considering all the slayers she watched in her twenties. "I'm killing him for doing this to us again!"

Willow gently held her back looking exactly the same magic seemingly keeping her young. "I don't even think he's that dumb."

Buffy shook her head. "Think of the concussions over the years Will, and how popular I was after Harmony dropped the V-bomb on the news, this is another Milfy the vampire layer. How can it not be anything but that?"

Xander rolled his eyes in frustration. "OK A, Long over you and it wouldn't be you anyway. B, I just want to watch a movie with friends, if it's anything like the last one, we never speak of it again and turn it off at the first sign of boob."

Buffy looked at him. "Fine, but if it is like the last one, I'm making you wear your ribcage like a hat, and no that's not a misquote on my part."

Xander looked at her. "You know the funny thing is you can actually do that in the latest Mortal Kombat."

"Just, turn on the movie would ya." Buffy smiled taking a seat with Willow as Xander sat in the middle grabbing the remote. If this is another Buffy the Vampire Layer, no words will describe what she does to him. "Oh cool Halloween time with us... good looking actors."

* * *

Author Notes

The following depicts another thirty one times the scoobies dressed as something different for the Halloween episode.

1\. I don't and will never own Buffy or any of the costumes they're wearing in case I forget in the chapter.

2\. This will contain violence, character death, and beyond.

3\. The tags will change everyday until November when the four most featured characters will be the permanent tags.

4\. Spike is the villain of the Halloween episode if you're a fan of him these might not be for you.

5\. This will have an M rating eventually it's necessary for one chapter at least just like last time

6\. Enjoy and Happy Halloween


	2. Odds and Ends of Destruction

Xander took a quiet breath he hates this school. That's all he can say right now and keep his head calm. He stood up for Buffy's honor. Larry threw him into the grape ice machine before Buffy could intervene. Now, not only has Buffy castrated him he's the color purple and he'll remain that way all day. He won't have the time for a shower. Because more bad, Snyder wants him to chaperone kids tonight so what the hell is he going to go as?

He walked around purple skinned in the Halloween store and saw a highlight of his day. The Summers woman he wasn't mad at. Dawn pulling a princess dress an axe, a bow and arrow and a shotgun… what the hell is she going as? "Um, Dawnie what are you going as?"

"Mom insists I go as a princess. I'm just adding a new twist to it." Dawn replied. "What are you going as the Count? One, two, two vampires in Sunnydale."

Xander shook his head. "No, I'm just stuck in purple until tomorrow."

Dawn gave an innocent shrug. "Well I can work with that. Give me the chance I can make you awesome."

Xander gave a small bow figuring why not. "OK Miss Summers give it your best shot."

Dawn looked at him and went for the odds and ends boxes. Pieces of missing costumes sold for fire sale. Dawn smiled and Xander would have paled if his face wasn't light purple.

"A tail" Xander objected.

The eleven year old pointed at him. "Am I in charge or not?"

Xander let out a sigh he's going to regret this. "You are."

"good" Dawn replied. "Now where's the purple body paint?"

Xander's eyes went wider.

* * *

Buffy stood looking herself over in the mirror. She can go upper class with the rest of them. She knocked next door. "Xander, Dawn, come out or we're leaving without you."

Xander gave an honest shrug. "Yeah hang on lady useless."

Buffy waited as the door opened and Dawn came out as a princess. She looked at Xander and well… "Wow, Dawn what the heck is all this stuff?"

Dawn looked over her masterpiece. "Paint, cat ears, a swimming cap, genie pants, some pharoh stuff, odds and ends from the costume shop."

Buffy turned to one of her firends. "Wow, you look unique, I want to say unique."

Xander looked at her and put two of his fingers in little circle. "I was this close to telling you, you pulled off the helpless princess. I look like the result of what happens when a cat has a three way with a pharaoh and a genie."

Dawn looked at him. "You look fine also there's enough to hide who's really under that thing."

Xander gave an honest shrug seeing she's right. Dawn put a lot of thought into it so he'll rough it. "Oh well, even if everyone hates it I'll have a fun night and know it can't be worse then Willow's costume."

"What makes you say that?" Buffy asked.

"Because, she's a ghost, she has been a ghost since kindergarten, and sadly nothing will ever change that." Xander replied.

Buffy rolled her eyes; boy is he in for a surprise. "Oh yeah, just wait till you see…" Willow came down in her 'boo' "Casper."

* * *

That night Willow wondered Sunnydale as a ghost. She needs to find anyone at this point. She walked a while to her surprise she saw a legion of demons all size shapes and colors almost flying at her. Luckily for Willow the demons go through her as they land with such force they tear through the concrete some even through the sewer below. What the hell is going on?

She runs up and sees Xander literally just flicking demons away with one of his fingers.

The purple cat looked around and enjoyed what he's done. "Well, that was interesting but that's enough demons for now. WHIS WHERE ARE YOU? YOU DEADBEAT!"

Willow looked at the cat man Xander has become with no sign of swimming cap or that the ears weren't real. Her jaw dropped in disbelief. "How… how did… what are you?"

"I'm a god." The cat replied like it should have been obvious.

Willow weakly shook her head. Come on she can handle this. "No, you're Xander, and I'm Willow. You're just a creepy looking cat."

The cat like creature almost growled at her. "Why you! I'd smite you for your insolence but you're already dead."

Willow rolled her eyes smite her for her insolence. Well Xander certainly has the god talk down. "Well then just… this would be so easier if Buffy was here." Willow smiled seeing the slayer. "Oh thank god."

Willow ran right over to the slayer the god followed out of curiosity. "Buffy what do we do?"

Buffy looked at her confused. "Who are you? How did I come to be here?" She turned to the cat demon and quietly kneeled before him.

The cat demon looked at the girl who seemed terrified more then anything. He looked over and saw two demons hissing at him. The cat let out a vindictive smile and pointed at them as two beams of energy left his finger and quickly vaporized them.

Willow quickly slapped him for it or at least would have if she had hands. "You do not kill anyone! What's the matter with you?"

The cat simply growled.

Buffy panicked and groveled much more. "Please forgive her my lord. The harlot doesn't know any better."

Willow looked at her OK Buffy's an actual 17th century girl and Xander is this cat thing. "Don't apologize for me."

Buffy quickly ran over and whispered. "Be quiet! That is Beerus, the god of destruction. He can blow up all of Earth with his pinky if you push his temper that far." She ran up to Beerus. "My lord, please come to our house. We'll prepare you a fine feast."

Beerus lowered his hand from Willow showing a surprise calm. "Alright, why not until that deadbeat Whis shows himself. Then he can explain why he let me slumber here."

Willow took a breath of relief and led them to Buffy's house. How the hell did Dawn turn Xander into a god?

* * *

Beerus looked at the feast before him and pigged out as Willow explained everything. So much food, but none of it hot. Ham, other various cold foods laid out by the servant girl from a time long ago. He took a bite out of something new to him as his eyes widened and drool ran down his mouth. "Dead girl, what is this fluffy concoction with cream in it?"

"A twinkie" Willow answered.

Beerus smiled finally getting full. "I love it. Is there more?"

Willow looked at him with a smile. "Once I get my body back I'll buy you a truckload."

"Deal!" Beerus excitedly flew right out the window taking out all the glass in the house.

* * *

 **Twenty minutes later**

Willow opened her eyes from the house porch she passed out on. She looked around what just happened? She looked nervously for a sign of Buffy or Cordelia but saw nothing.

"So, where is my truck of twinkies?"

Willow nearly jumped right back out of her skin but turned around and saw Beerus with sweat running down his face like he's struggling to hang on. "I'm working on it just give me some time."

Beerus let out a hollow chuckle. "I have none. With the spell broken I'm losing control of this body."

Willow looked at him stunned. "You found the person who did this that fast?"

Beerus looked at her and rolled her eyes. Petulant Child. "I'm a god not a detective. I wouldn't have the patience to track down the mage so I just beat on Janus till he dropped the spell."

Willow looked at him wide eyed. "Oh, well thanks. So what happens now?"

"I fade into your friend's subconscious and likely stay in there till he dies." Beerus answered Janus' retaliation for cancelling his fun.

Willow watched as the god of destruction toppled to the floor and became Xander again. "You OK?"

Xander just gave a weak little thumbs up. "Yeah, still purple but feeling better.

* * *

The next day Xander sat outside the school eating something he's blaming Beerus for. Sweet and sour chicken and white rice with something special for desert still in the bag.

"Harris"

Xander looked up and saw the bully from yesterday. "Larry, what do you want?"

"Still curious about your friend Buffy." Larry replied easily enough.

Xander rolled his eyes. "Do the words no chance in hell mean anything to you jackass?"

Larry looked at him making sure it was Harris that told him that. He put a fist back ready to swing but Xander quickly poked him in three precise spots with his chopsticks and the football player dropped like a brick to the floor unconscious as Xander went back to his meal using Larry as a foot rest.

Xander smiled finishing the last of it so it's time for desert. He goes for the bag to only see the bag taken away. "Hey!"

Snyder shook it. "One chance for leniency what's in the bag?"

"A snack pack" Xander answered honestly.

Snyder rolled his eyes. "What is that? Some new drug lingo?"

Xander shook his head trying not to laugh. "No, new code word for pudding."

Snyder looked at the bully on the floor Xander will pay for this. "What happened drug deal gone bad?"

"You know I can honestly say I never touched him." Xander quipped. "Now can I have my pudding please?"

Snyder held the bag close to him. "What is there marijuana in there? That's what you don't want me to see?"

"Of course not now give me my pudding." Xander ordered.

Snyder rolled the bag shut and put it in his hands. "No, this will be mine to hand to the police."

Xander jumped into the air and to the surprise of Snyder and everyone there seemingly transformed into a purple cat humanoid as Beerus barked. "Give it you fool!"

Snyder shook his head nervously and ran in the other direction.

Berrus growled. "This is what happens to people who don't share their pudding!"

* * *

 **A/N This website has rated Beerus' beat down of Snyder M-305. What does that even mean?**

* * *

Xander looked at what was left of Snyder and a dozen terrified students. He looks around and has enough of the god in his head to know his destruction when he sees it. Well, this can't be good...

* * *

 _Thirty Five year old Xander smacked the TV. "Come on it can't end there. Weird DVD but still interesting."_

 _Buffy nodded. "Someone from Sunnydale high must have sold his or her life story good actors though look just like us. It looks like that's where it ends. Although I didn't know bones could actually bend that way. And I gotta remember some of those pressure points."_

 _Willow smiled excited theses might be kind of entertaining. "Guys the next one is coming on."_

* * *

Dragon Ball is owned by Akira Toriyama


	3. The Unexpected volume 1

Snyder walked towards his house this Halloween, fine day for his car to be in the shop. Well, he still has plenty of time before sun set. He walked past the Halloween shop and to a very rare occurrence in this town. A regular flat scan human mugger whom held a gun at him.

"Give me you wallet!"

Snyder promptly fainted.

* * *

Xander, Buffy, and Willow each walked out of the costume store with supplies for tonight. Xander bit his tongue to keep from really lashing out. "I swear if I ever get my hands on… Snyder!"

Buffy ran over and checked him. "He's fine… just sleeping."

Xander rolled his eyes in disbelief until he remembered what was in the cheap pile. "Will I need to borrow two bucks."

Willow gave an innocent shrug and handed him the money as Xander ran into Ethan's. Two minutes later he came out with an atlanta hat. He placed the hat on Snyder's head and quickly pulled out a sharpie and doodled a mustache on Snyder's face.

Buffy looked and just let out a smile in disbelief. "OK, let's get him up. I'm sure someone called already but we can't leave him here."

"Why?" Xander asked honestly.

"What are you three doing?"

The three turned around and saw a police officer in Sunnydale. They exist, who knew.

Buffy took a breath relieved. "Officer, you scared us. He fainted for some reason we just got here."

The officer looked down and let out a healthy chuckle seeing what one of the students did to him. He looked closer and saw it was… Snyder! the same douche that kept his sister so long after school in their charter school that one time she mysteriously disappeared after he let her go at night. And when he asked about it Snyder made his life hell just for wanting justice for his sister, to figure out what happened. "Why don't you three go? I got this."

"Really, don't we need to make statements or something?" Willow asked startled.

"Were you here or did you find him like this?" The cop asked.

"Found him like that." Buffy replied instantly.

The cop turned back to Snyder looking over him. "Then there's nothing you can do go home."

The cop watched as the Scoobies hit the corner and turned right once they were out of sight he simply spit on Snyder and left.

* * *

Later that night Ethan's spell took hold as Snyder finally regained consciousness. Snyder looked around perplexed to where he is and why he's barely dressed let alone unarmed.

He looked around and saw a bunch of demons and heard some gunshots. "What the hell?"

Willow walked with Xander and Buffy. What a hell of a night this has been. She's a ghost Xander's a soldier and Buffy is worthless. They hear a fight and run over to their surprise they see a trail of four demons out cold from… "P-P-Principal Snyder?"

Snyder looked at the trio of new people. "No, where am I?"

"You're in Sunnydale." Willow answered. "What happened to the demons?"

"You mean those things?" Snyder asked at the pile. "I walked a couple blocks and find myself in an ambush situation! There must have been half a dozen of these things! Luckily they were unarmed so I took them down with a coordinated assault of hand to hand techniques... I am completely unarmed… that's never happened to me before." The man said in startling revelation.

They all turned to the growl of another small group of demons. Xander quickly aimed and fired at their feet.

Willow glared at him. "Hey, what did I say?" She watched as the demons hightailed it in the opposite direction.

"Loud noise scares monster." Xander reminded her.

Xander hears the growl of a demon on the other side and aimed but the middle aged man smacked the gun away. "Forget it soldier, you're empty!"

Willow turned to Snyder nervously. "Already?"

Snyder nodded. "Sixteen shots from earlier if it was the same gun and fourteen at their feet if he's not out he just has one in the chamber."

Xander did the math and groaned underbreath. "Damn it."

Snyder nodded in agreement how could he not even bring the eagle to wherever this is. "I suggest we make a strategic retreat."

Willow nodded knowing they can't fight like this. "He's right, Buffy's house isn't that far from here."

* * *

Xander looked at the middle aged man now that they're in a house they can fortify themselves and take some time as they nail the windows shut. "So, are you a soldier?"

"No, name's Burt… Burt Gummer." The man put his hand up.

"Alexander Harris" The two shook hands as they heard a scream outside. "Stay with Buffy and Willow… I got this."

Xander ran out and Burt watched as he hit a demon with the back of his weapon knocking it out. He grabbed a teenage girl and the two rushed for the house.

Willow walked in and saw Xander running into the house with Cordelia. "OK, your name is Cordelia and you're not really a cat."

"Great Willow you went mental when?" Cordelia asked exasperated first the dog faced boy and now this. There's only so much the girl can take… especially the mustached Snyder. "And what's Snyder doing here?"

Willow turned to Snyder yeah she never saw this one coming either but at least they know what to call him now. "He's under the spell his name is Burt Gummer. So what happened to you Cordy?"

Cordy pointed to scratches on her arm. "I was attacked by Jo Jo the dog faced boy. You think Party Town will give me my deposit back?"

Willow looked outside it's not letting up. "I'm gonna find out what's going on stay here and watch them for me."

Cordelia tutted as Willow left. "Who died and made her boss?" Buffy's eyes widened as Willow walked through the wall. Apparently she did.

* * *

Ten minutes later Willow came running right back through the wall. "Guys, big problem." Cordy, Burt, and Xander instantly got up from their seats on the couch Buffy remained on the couch,

"What is it?" Xander asked.

Willow looked at them thankful for the lack of breath and scent so they couldn't keep track of her and lost her when she started running through houses. "Spike saw me and now he's gathering an army of vampires to take down Buffy and since none of them are wearing capes I assume they're the real deal."

Burt looked at her confused this is insane. "Vampire, legitimate vampires, you people are nuts."

"Buffy's a vampire slayer, it's a long story, I'll tell you if we don't end up dying." Cordelia replied wishing she didn't know that. She spends too much time with them.

Burt looked at Willow. Well he does sleep at the same level of a ten foot worm every night as Tyelr tends to point out. "So if they're real vampires how do we stop them?"

Willow shook her head. "The usual stakes, fire, sunlight, but you don't stop them you barricade yourself in since they can't get in uninvited. Just lock up and sit tight while me and Giles break the spell."

Willow walked right back through the wall she should really learn Giles' phone number.

Burt turned to Xander. "Alright everyone up stairs to Buffy's room on the double."

"Lady said stay put and lock up." Xander countered.

Burt pointed to him. "I'm not comfortable staying put unguarded barricading ourselves in won't do any good if they just burn the house down and flush us out."

"So how is my room supposed to help kind sir?" Buffy asked.

Burt groaned in exasperation. "Were you not listening to intel. You're a vampire slayer. Odds are you have weapons exactly for this kind of situation."

* * *

The four ran upstairs and Burt scoured the room looking for where a teenage girl could keep her weapons cache. Xander quickly went under the bed and pulled out a black lace bra.

Cordy rolled her eyes and took it off him. "Ooh Buffy has girl parts and is thinking of having sex, focus soldier."

Xander went under bed and pulled out a black case this time and opened it. He looked around and saw a couple stakes, a single shot crossbow, crosses, and strings of rotten garlic. "Well, this Buffy was never a girlscout."

Burt grabbed the crossbow, dandy one shot. "Clearly, alright everyone grab a stake and a cross."

Xander looked at him. "You're scared?"

"Yes, if the vampires come here we are woefully unarmed and if they're anything like I fought we're outnumbered and out powered." Burt replied. "I'd rather shoot them or throw a grenade at… downstairs now!"

The four ran down and Burt went rummaging until he found what he was looking for in the spice rack and showed it to the others.

"Garlic powder? What are we supposed to do with that?" Xander asked.

Burt looked at him. "Buffy's weapon cache had garlic in it. Can we weaponize them somehow."

Cordy smiled as an idea came to her head. "We mix it in a glass of water and throw it at them."

Burt shook his head. "The glass could be empty by the time it reaches them."

Xander let out a smile and ran outside the idea in his head now. He came back inside carrying a blue recycling bin. "How about these, this Buffy loves her Snapple. Even if the garlic powder misses they still can get broken glass to the face."

"Brilliant, Cordelia see if you can find honey or maple syrup." Burt ordered.

Cordy went to the shelves. "Because now is when you get a sweet tooth?"

"No, so that the powder and the water will stick to the vampires' faces." Burt replied.

Cordelia handed him a plastic bear full of honey and replied. "I'm gonna go get the rest of Buffy's garlic and holy water we can cut it up and add it to the mix."

"Good, we'll keep working."

* * *

Angel walked to Buffy's House and saw Spike coming three blocks up with at least twenty vampires. He ran right into Buffy's house. "Guys we got a serious…" He looked and saw an assembly line for lack of a better word. Cordelia throwing Garlic, garlic powder and a splash of holy water in a Snapple bottle whom passes it off to Xander whom fills the bottle with water, whom passes it off to Buffy whom squeezes honey into the concoction before adding the top to the Snapple bottle and finishes it, passing it to Snyder whom shakes it and adds it to the pile of already done ones while they're all singing blow the man down to increase productivity according to Cordy. "Problem."

"Spike, we know, and to top it off Buffy's lady helpless." Cordy finished.

Spike kicked in the door and smiled looking at Buffy completely helpless like Dru said in game face holding a torch in his hand hit the blind and flush them out. "Fe fi fo fum I smell the blood of a…"

Buffy immediately grabbed one of the bottles and threw it at Spike's head. With slayer strength it made quite an impressive shatter as Spike howled in pain nothing but a smoke trail coming through as he held his face and ran in the other direction and fell to the floor writhing in pain holding his face dropping his torch.

Burt smiled. "They work go for the head."

Xander, Angel, and Burt grabbed the bottles and threw them while Buffy and Cordy did their best to reload some of thier supplies. Some vampires fought through it trying to get in on blind instinct but were knocked down by the barrier and quickly staked by one of the boys. Within thirty seconds the grounds of the Summers property was literred with twelve twitching vampires and torches but the rest of Spike's army had fled. Xander and Angel each took a stake and started dusting their opponents.

Spike finally learned to cope with the pain and got to his feet he saw Xander and Angel staking his men and went to run.

Burt saw him running and grabbed the cross bow.

"Remember get the heart!" Cordy ordered.

"Affirmative!" Burt fired the crossbow hitting Spike in the back of the heart as he dusted. Burt looked at the crossbow as his mustache became sharpie. Snyder looked around and quickly bolted running right by Xander whom just kept staking.

* * *

The next day the Scoobies were in the library running down events with Giles and Jenny. They filled him in on last night. The Englishman looked for a moment to try to keep a straight face but broke into hysterical laughter followed by Jenny. "You're telling me that Spike… William the Bloody…" He kept laughing. "Was done in by Principal Snyder."

Buffy just nodded still laughing. "Yeah, you should have seen it."

Snyder walked in and heard the students laughter. "Well, what are you all so happy about?" The mood completely changes as the scoobies deflate. "So… I've been looking through our recent history Flutie… not stray dogs was it?"

"No" Buffy answered.

Snyder looked to Xander. "Ms. French and the foreign exchange student Ampata."

Xander looked at the table. "Both demons sir."

Snyder gave him a silent nod. "Maybe it's a good thing I never got a date in high school."

"Hey" Xander complained as the girls laughed equally at Snyder's joke and Xander not believing that.

Snyder turned to Buffy. "I'm sorry I was under the impression you burned your last gym down for fun thanks to the report automatically assumed you were a troublemaker and I have some issues of my own to work out."

Xander looked at him having seen both tremors movie. "Wow who would have though being possessed by a gun nut would do such wonders."

Snyder nodded. "That and finally learning the truth. Don't you three have class?" He asked in a stern voice.

"We're gone!"

The three students left as Snyder turned solemnly to Giles learning another truth last night and the disgusting chain he was a part of. "We need to talk about how much of a hold the demons really have on this town.

* * *

 **Graduation Day**

Buffy rolled her eyes looking at the mayor talk sitting next to Harmony thanks to Snyder's seating arrangements as a paper airplane landed at her feet and she opened it. 'Thank god for Snyder's last gifts huh?' Buffy turned to Xander while smiling and nodded. Her boyfriend has a quirky sense of humor.

She turned back and watched the mayor start to convulse as the eclipse started right on cue as Snyder sat at a big table with Giles and two other teachers whom ran when the mayor's skin started turning green as he grew and grew. Snyder raised his hand up in a fist and that was the sign as Buffy, Willow, Xander, Larry, Cordelia, and twenty other Students grabbed the rifles under the rows of chairs. Twenty five Barret M82s all placed in strategic locations as Snyder and Giles each grab one from under their table. Snyder waves his hand down and before the mayor can even growl he's met with a firing squad of hundreds of high caliber rounds that easily go through his body and face tearing him apart as he fell to the floor dead.

The vampires watched the Mayor hit the floor. This is bad. Well maybe the can still… six of them explode to dust two fall with arrows sticking out of their spines. The vampires turn around and see Angel, Faith, jenny and Joyce, each with two crossbows in hand. They try to run and this time seven more meet their makers. And Angel just stakes the last one.

* * *

Buffy pulled out her ear plugs as other students did the same.

Snyder just empited what was left of his barret into the top of the Mayor's head when his eyes twitched. He looked at Buffy. "Sloppy!

* * *

 _Buffy paused the DVD at the beginning of the next Chapter. "Was something going on with me and Xander?"_

 _Xander gave an innocent shrug he's enjoying these as messed up as they are. "I'm still laughing that Snyder killed Spike, I'm more stunned that Snyder made a joke… on me of course."_

" _My guess is somehow Snyder broke you and Angel up only thing I can think of as to why Jenny would still be there." Willow replied._

" _Even as a good guy he makes my life miserable… and undo all the bad that happened when we did," Buffy replied and awkwardly hit play to avoid the glares.._

* * *

Author Notes

Tremors is owned by S.S Wilson I think

Make Snyder a human being Challenge

A Barret is powerful enough to blow the head of a graboid to chunks and shut down an Arnie class Termiantor in one shot. I think enough of them could have taken down the mayor.

If anyone knows any paragraph breaks that work here and at twisting the hellmouth please let me know.

This might be it's own story some day or Just Snyder's war journal of the episodes between Hallowen and Graduation Day


	4. Ultimatum

Xander looked around the store. It should not be this hard to find a toy gun. He sees a T-shirt for five dollars and looked at it pondering it over. Xander looked at the shirt and with a lack of guns, yeah this will do.

Willow watched Xander walk up and put the T shirt down to pay. Willow looked at him. "That's not a costume."

"Jeans and black shoes, not only is it a costume it's one of the cheapest ones there is." Xander countered.

Ethan handed him the bag as the three left. Janus might not like this.

* * *

That night the spell took hold as Willow emerged from her body. This can't be good. Now she really is a ghost. She ran into the streets of Sunnydale desperately seeking her friends. Willow looked around and saw a demon sailing through the air.

She ran over and saw Xander. She looked him over. "Xander… is that still you in there."

Xander looked at her his face trying not to show confusion from these awkward events.

Willow looked him over the black shirt with the red all too familiar logo jeans and shoes. She was a ghost now she is a ghost so if Xander is dressed like that. Does that mean he is now? "Conner?"

Conner's eyes widen, how does she know? "Who's Conner?"

Willow sighed she'll take that as a yes. "You Conner Kent, AKA Kon El AKA Superboy." She pointed to the red S on his chest.

So much for that nice normal life Clark set him up with. Conner looked at her. "What do you want?"

"Just your help on something. I won't tell anyone your secret honest, I won't even make you do anything bad." Willow replied.

Conner smiled until he heard no heartbeat with his superhearing. Well, she looks like a decent person learned the truth instead of someone whom would exploit it. Hopefully. "Alright, let's go to work."

Conner and Willow quickly found Buffy and with the exception of Conner not giving Cordy a coat, things stayed exactly the same until the end of the night. When Janus' little joke created a big problem.

* * *

Conner fought alongside Angel knocking out the last of the demons save Spike. Spike looked at Superboy backing up nervously. Conner moved in a blur out of the building and caught Spike he looked at him and focused his X-ray vision to see no heartbeat a real vampire not a kid in costume."Willow real or fake?"

"Real"

Conner just chucked him straight up.

Willow watched as Spike quickly disappeared to her eyes. "And Spike's blasting off again." She waited for a minute nothing. "Is he coming back?"

"Not with how hard I tossed him." Conner replied as at this moment Giles broke Ethan's statue.

Cordelia turned and saw Buffy and Angel quickly go to each other and leave. She looks around but sees no sign of Xander and Willow. Oh no she is not taking all these kids home by herself. They better show up or get their butts kicked.

* * *

Xander opened his eyes to see beautiful shades of blue and purple. And to the untrained eyes red, green, yellow, orange, black, you name it, it's here. Although he suspects it's not a good thing he still has kryptonian vision. "Where the hell am I?"

"A spiritual nexus, a gateway between worlds." A badly dressed man replied.

Xander looked at the guy in a hat and suit. Well, this should be interesting. "Who are you?"

"Whistler, and thanks to Janus, you have a very difficult decision to make and it has to be done right now."

"I'm listening." Xander replied.

Whistler looked at him, crappy day at the office there were big plans for this kid. "Well in case you haven't figured it out already you still have the powers of Superboy, which is a very bad thing because the world you live in depends on balance."

Xander looked at him confused. "Define balance."

Whistler sat down and took a swig from his flask. "Yin and Yang Batman, Joker, once we put you back on your world in order to balance you out something as powerful as Doomsday or Darkseid will show up for team Evil. Do you really want that?"

Xander groaned he knows full well Conner Kent is capable of dying. "And I'm no Superman, and no Shazam or Wonder Woman or a green lantern corps."

Whistler nodded. "You see what we mean by difficult right?"

Xander looked around for a way out. "So what's this other option?"

Whistler smiled seeing he's at least listening even if it's ten percent he's still human god bless loophole abuse. "We drop you in a different world. A world where there are a whole lot of people like you."

"You mean another DC Universe?"

Whistler shook his head. "No, they all already have Conner Kents introducing another one may upset the natural order. It will be different but similar. Once you're there on that planet you can make any life you wish for yourself."

Xander shook his head in disbelief. "Can I at least say goodbye to the others?"

Whistler shook his head. "You can't step foot on that earth again. Not even to say goodbye. I'm sorry it's just the way it is. Told you, very difficult decision to make."

Xander glared at him but didn't do anything about it. "Just throw me in the other world."

"Are you sure?" Whistler asked.

Xander nodded. Buffy would try to stop whatever came with him and she'd fail because while he hates to say it a kryptonian's enemies are far beyond her. "Just do it."

"It was nice to meet you Xander. Best of luck in your new life, oh and entering another world from here is going to take a lot out of you. Maybe not though being who you are?"

A portal opened at Xander's feet as he fell through to his new life.

* * *

Xander opened his eyes groggy. He looked and saw himself strapped down with big heavy iron. He tried to move it with his strength but it didn't budge. He still has Conner's powers he can tell that much for himself. But he feels drained. He looks around and sees nothing but concrete they're underground no sun. He pushes against the iron but no luck, they won't budge. Each shackle is as big as one of his arms.

The door opened letting two people in one a middle aged white man in glasses, the other a beautiful Asian woman walking in with silver fingernails.

The man in glasses smiled. "Well, look who's finally awake."

"Where am I? Who are you?" Xander asked.

The man smiled. "My name is Commander William Stryker, and you are in a research lab in Canada."

Xander pulled at the iron but nothing budged.

Stryker smiled. "We X-rayed you while you were unconscious. Quite the unique mutation, a dense molecular structure should give you enhanced speed and strength."

Xander growled trying to break the restraints and again nothing.

Stryker just let out a laugh. "Save your strength boy, you might be stronger then us humans but that's pure adamantium holding you down."

"Adamantium?" Xander asked.

Stryker nodded lifting Xander's head scalpel in hand. He quickly made a cut in the back of Xander's neck as the Sunnydale teen clenched his teeth to not scream but let out a couple groans of pain. "A very rare metal, you see you usually have to keep it in its liquid form, keep it hot, because the once the metal cools and takes shape it's practically indestructible."

Xander looked at him. "You can't keep me here I'm a human being,"

Stryker grabbed him by his shirt. "You are nothing but a filthy mutant. I waited twelve hours for you to wake up ever sinc e you crash landed into the river."

Xander looked behind him and saw the Asian woman with a panicked look on her face looking at her silver fingernails.

Stryker sees him distracted and looks at his assistant it's worn off again.

Xander looked at the girl he's held hostage by a mad scientist and to top it off he can't even help her whom went from cold to terrified. "Run, get out of here."

Stryker hit a button as the woman turned around and was greeted by a locked door.

Xander laid back and put everything he had to breaking his shackles but nothing. What's the point of going as Superman if you can't save the first person that needs help? Wait! He didn't go as Superman, he went as Superboy.

Stryker bent the woman over and put a couple drops of a yellow fluid in a hole in her neck. He smiled seeing her nice, docile, and ready to take commands again. He walked to Xander ready to repeat the process.

Xander squirmed his hands inside the shackles as his the very ends of his fingers touched his shackles. To Stryker's surprise both shackles holding his hands split apart opening by themselves and freeing his arms. Xander quickly shot up and put his hand on Stryker's chest as the man was thrown into the wall. Xander quickly grabbed the shackles on his legs as they just opened on their own.

Xander walked up to the woman. "I don't know who you are, but we have to getaway from this Looney toon."

The woman looked at him and cracked her knuckles and opened her hands as each fingernail turned into an almost foot long dagger.

Xander's eyes widened in surprise, Whistler said there would be others like him. "Holy shit!"

The woman ran up and clawed at Xander leaving four claw marks across his chest and drawing four gaping wounds making it look like the teen is fighting Freddy Kruger.

Xander quickly grabbed each of his attacker's hands as the claws bent at an unnatural angle making ten circles taking them out of the fight. The woman replied with a headbutt wobbling him.

Xander held his head, what sick bastard gives her an adamantium skull. He's going to hell for this but he doesn't see another way to avoid Stryker getting Kryptonian blood. He grabs the woman by the throat and the woman just smashes right through the wall without Xander even pushing her. Tactile telekinesis, gotta love it. Xander walked out and watched the woman get up as the debris falls from her and the wounds she suffered from the attack heal up.

The woman got up and glared at him as she ran at him and Xander ran right for her the end result was ineffective claws bouncing off of each of Xander's shoulders thanks to previous damage.

Xander put his hands to her stomach and the woman went flying to another wall this time to the outside of the facility. Xander stepped outside and smiled feeling the suns rays hit him.

Stryker walked accompanied by twenty of his men each armed with rifles. He looked and saw his newest test subject standing in the sunlight with a smile almost as if he was bathing in it. He looks down and saw the wounds Deathstrike caused quickly heal up Well, he's not getting away he's too powerful. "Open Fire!"

Xander quickly stood in front of Deathstrike as the bullets flew their way. Stryker looked as his troops kept firing but two fast moving blurs were moving around Xander as his arms disappeared. Once the soldiers ran out of ammo Xander's arms returned this time holding a big metal ball. He chucked the ball at Stryker's head and laughed when it knocked him down. One of the soldiers looked at him and ran full steam with the gun.

Xander let out a sigh wondering why he woke up here. He backhanded the soldier as he soared through the sky and fell on top of the other nineteen as they all made painful grunts. "Anyone else want to fight winner?"

Xander wobbled from a kick to the back of the head. Xander turned around in frustration more then anything. He grabbed Deathstrike by her shirt hoisting her off the ground. "I'm sorry." One punch with little strength knocked her out.

* * *

Stryker recovered just in time to see Xander fly away with Deathstrike in his arms. "He fed off the sunlight."

One of the soldiers looked at him. "You want to go after him."

"He knocked out a woman with not only indestructible bones but a feeling factor that rivals wolverine with a jab and you just want to send soldiers after him. For your sake I hop that's a joke." Stryker mocked the man.

"Sir, he knows about this place."

Stryker shook his head and walked back. "The machine's will be just about done in a few motnhs we just need the battery. We'll get them all including him."

* * *

Hours later Xander landed at the river back in good old America. Or whatever America is in this world. Could be run by Castro for all he knows.

(Where are you going?)

Xander looked around and saw nothing.

(Behind you)

(Where is he?)

Xander's eyes widened. Great Jean Luc Picard in his head. He grabbed Deathstrike and quickly flew to the sky getting away.

Xander stopped and collected his breath and saw Deathstrike's eyes starting to open. Who's gonna wake up the woman, or the weapon.

Deathstrike opened her eyes as she looked at a teenage boy for a moment before looking around and seeing nothing but him she looked down at her fingers as everything comes rocketing. She watched her claws extend as tears ran down her eyes. "Why would they do this to me?"

Xander just sat down next to her and just put his hand on her shoulder. "I don't know, don't even know who that was. Or who you are."

"Yuriko, my name is Yuriko"

Their eyes focus on the sky as a black jet hovers above them. The jet lands as the two stand ready for a fight.

Xander kept his arms up and focused as red haired woman is the first one out followed by a brown haired man in a red visor. After him was Jean Luc Picard in a wheelchair the little hair he had was shaved off.

(Hello Xander, Yuriko, I'm Professor Charles Xavier an...)

* * *

" _Hey, hey don't you dare break now!" Xander shouted._

 _Buffy looked and gave an innocent shrug." Sorry Xan looks like it's busted."_

 _Willow gave a shrug. "Wouldn't have liked that world anyway. We'd lose Xander. So" She grabs the remote and hits skip chapter_

 _Xander looked at the fading image before snatching the remote from Willow. "I was Superboy."_

" _Yeah and me and Willow would probably be dead fifty times over." Buffy countered. "You mean more to us then you know. Now can we please watch the next one?"_

 _Xander smiled and hit play._

* * *

 _Author Notes  
_

 _X-Men is owned by Marvel but do I give Fox the credit for the movies?_


	5. Fire and Ice

Buffy walked to her front door with a smile. Xander should be here right about… she opens the door and just stares at Xander in a blue what looks like a surf suit and blond hair dye.

Xander glared at her. "Don't ask, just don't ask."

* * *

Harmony smiled getting into the last piece of her costume. She walked downstairs and saw Cordelia with whitish hair and a light blue dress.

Cordelia glared at her. "Don't ask, just don't ask."

* * *

Willow walked the halls in her ghost costume. Well at least she's in what's comfortable to her above her clothes. Cordelia roamed the hall after taking a moment to talk with Oz about Devon. She walked right into the ghost and it's no mystery who is under the sheet.

Cordelia looked at her. "Oh little Willow Rosenberg. Still the same ghost she's always been."

Willow looked at Cordelia in the costume Xander picked for her. "I love your costume Cordelia; it's the kind of costume that just screams you."

"Oh, well thanks." Cordelia replied. They made a stupid bet, both lost and both picked each others costumes out. Xander seemed to have a purpose but she just wanted to embarrass him by making him a blond.

"You're welcome." Willow replied. She has to give Xander props for the stealth pun.

Cordelia waited till Willow turned to leave and grabbed the bottom of her boo. With a couple steps Willow was out of her ghost set up and into the rock groupie Buffy set her up as. Cordy tossed Willow's boo in with the sloppy joes lunch trash. Take it out if you dare Rosenberg. "You look cute too."

Willow blushed a fierce shade of red as she covered her stomach with her hands. "Thanks"

* * *

That night Willow watched as her kids became literal demons. The old lady they were trick or treating from slammed the door and all the demons turned to Willow whom quickly bolted.

She turned right and saw a blond haired Xander with the demons right behind her. "Xander run, get out of here run!"

Willow stopped when he didn't move. "What are you doing I said run!"

Xander looked at them and simply shouted. "FLAME ON!"

Willow watched as Xander seemingly spontaneously combusted but just stood there his body ignited in fire.

Xander threw fireballs at the demon's feet as they headed the other direction and started walking after them. "Don't run, don't run, cowards." He turned around and saw Willow in her black and red get up. "Hello!"

Willow awkwardly covered up. "How, how did you do that?"

"Cosmic radiation" Xander replied like it should have been obvious as he went into a human form. Everyone knows who they are.

Willow looked at him and this isn't good. "Are you… telling me you're really Johnny Storm?"

"How many other people do you know that bursts into flames?" The human torch asked.

Willow sighs this day just kept getting weirder and weirder. "Look, Johnny do you mind following me until I can find my friend Buffy?"

Johnny looked at her with a smile. "I'll follow you to the ends of the world."

Willow rolled her eyes dear god that was tacky. The one time Xander's interested in her. "Just to Buffy thank you."

* * *

Buffy watched with keen interest seeing the two demons that were chasing her currently being entombed in ice. "Thank you kind lady."

The cyromancer looked at her and rolled her eyes. She doesn't come off like this does she?

"Buffy?"

The cyromancer turned around and saw a red headed woman being escorted by a blond guy.

Johnny looked at the girl with white hair Willow recognized as Cordelia. "And you are?"

The cyromancer pointed to herself nervously. "Oh, I'm Elsa queen of Arendelle."

"Johnny Storm… I've been to Queens."

"How many Queens?" Buffy asked. Johnny looked at her dumb founded.

Elsa looked at him. "H-how nice."

Johnny scratched his head awkwardly how was he supposed to know he'd be meeting a queen today. "Yeah that was lame."

Elsa let out a small laugh. "It's OK" She pointed to Buffy. "That one is about as deep as a teaspoon of water."

Johnny laughed at the joke. "Get the feeling, so how did you get here?"

Elsa frowned and gave an honest shrug. "I honestly have no idea. I have faith in Anna to run it but I just want to get back to my kingdom."

Willow listened to the two. "Let's go to Giles odds are he'll know how to break it. We'll get you both back where you belong I swear."

Johnny looked at her well she does seem to be a good person maybe he should just stay with her. Elsa followed her in the hope of going home.

* * *

Willow led the group a couple blocks until they hit a road block in the form of Spike and an army of mini demons. "Uh oh!"

Johnny looked at her. "What's wrong?"

"Bad bad demons." Willow replied. "They're after Buffy she's usually much stronger but she's defenseless till we get you guys home. Also we can't hurt any of the mini demons?"

Elsa looked into the monsters eyes. "Why not?"

Willow looked at them. "Because they're little kids trapped in there."

Johnny gave a silent nod, they needed containment. "Well then this makes it easy. FLAME ON!" Johnny fires up and leaves a trail of fire between Spike and his army and them.

Elsa moved quickly working her hands as the cold leaves her. "Come on come on." Before long the random snow is a carriage made of ice and four living snow horses. "Come on girls get in."

Willow helps Buffy in as Elsa took the reigns

Elsa turned to Johnny. "Come on."

Johnny shook his head with a cocky smile. "I'll be right behind you my lady. Go!"

Elsa quickly snapped the reigns as she bolted for the library to her surprise she saw Johnny flying close behind them pelting fireballs at the demon's feet. "Willow which way?"

"Oh, u-u-u-uh l-l-l-left." Willow replied.

Elsa looked at the shivering redhead. "Are you alright?"

Willow nodded. "L-l-loose clothes in a carriage made of ice, not a good choice. Thankfully turn right and we're here."

Johnny watched as the carriage came to a stop and came flying down.

* * *

Elsa looked and saw the vampires still coming as Johnny helped unload Willow unload Buffy. "Guys get inside I'll be right behind you guys."

Willow looked at her. "How will you find us?"

Elsa pointed to the side of her. "I'll just follow his mouth."

Johnny glared at her. "Hey!"

Buffy pushed him in. "inside now before those demons catch us. The witch can take care of herself."

Willow turned to Elsa; Cordelia Chase is saving them weird night. "Just try not to really hurt any of the mini demons, and don't get yourself killed."

Elsa nodded. "I won't I swear on my parents' graves and my throne as queen."

* * *

Willow ran into the library and saw Giles' very confused face. "Yeah, they have some weird thing where they have no idea who they are, Spike's after her, everything is a mess, Cordy's playing with snow doing something."

"Says her." Johnny replied but weakly added. "If I understood what she's saying."

Giles turned to the redhead. "Perhaps, you can start from the beginning. And at a little less Willow speed I think Xander called it. "

Willow looked at him and calmed down a bit. "OK everyone just kind of became their costume. Buffy was a 17th century girl. Xander was the Human Torch, and Cordelia is the Ice Princess, though she's calling herself Elsa."

Giles looked over the redhead. "And you are supposed to be."

Willow looked at him. "Well I'm a ghost."

Giles looked at her trying not to put his foot in his mouth but. "The ghost of what exactly?"

Willow looked at herself and covered up. "Well um these are clothes Buffy picked for me and… I'm not a ghost."

Giles took his glasses off. "You just said you were."

"I'm not." Willow clarified. "I was supposed to be a ghost but Cordelia took my sheet and threw it in the trash. It must be the store I'm the only one whose costume wasn't from there."

Giles smiled certainly made his job easier. "Well where is this store?"

"Um, it's that new store on 3rd, Ethan's." Willow replied.

Giles nodded he has a feeling he's about to run into an old friend. "Well, stay here, all of you. I'll check it out."

Giles went for the door but was cutoff by Elsa. "Oh, um hello."

Elsa gave a little wave. "Hi"

Giles looked at her uneasy remembering its still Cordelia. "Well, I have to go?"

Elsa watched him go. "Well don't go that way Fluffy's waiting out there. Use another exit."

Giles looked at her. "Oh, right." He went for the back exit.

Johnny looked at the ice queen. "Fluffy?"

"My sister made me swear I name it that." Elsa replied.

Johnny nodded but then whispered to Buffy. "What the hell is fluffy?"

* * *

Spike smiled coming ever closer to the school flanked by his army of demons as they put out the last fire. The slayer can run but she can't hide. He walked up to Sunnydale high and saw it as a winter wonderland. "OK, what the bloody hell is this? Winter in California?"

Spike listened as footsteps started echoing he turned to the right and saw a demonic looking twenty foot snowman standing on two legs with hands, icicles as nails, spines across his back and icicle teeth. "OK boys let's show him what we're made of." Spike turned around and saw all the demons fleeing in the other direction as fast as their little legs could take them. "Bugger" Spike went to join the run but Fluffy got a hold of his left leg before he could get away and he fell face first into the snow. "OK let's talk demon to demon."

Fluffy snarled before slamming Spike into the ground but still holding on to his leg. He pulled him to the left face first into a car window.

Spike looked at the snow monster blood pouring down his face. "Alright, ya got that out of your system, I deserved that."

Fluffy looked at him for a moment before spiking him into the ground five more times. Upon seeing Spike was unconscious he threw him into the sky and out of sight.

Elsa smiled watching the events through the window. "Told ya that would be enough."

Johnny let out a disappointed sigh as his flame went out as both of them felt haevy fro a moment before returning to being Xander and Cordelia.

* * *

Giles came into the library from the back as Elsa had instructed. He looks in and sees the blond, black, and white wigs are gone so Xander, Buffy, and Cordy are themselves again. With the statue broken hopefully this will just be contributed to a gas leak or something. "Good to see everyone's back to normal."

Cordy glared at the Englishman. "Really?" She waved her hands as a bunch of snow appeared and made a snowman.

"Hi, I'm Krump isn't it a nice day out."

Cordy turned back to Giles with a glare.

Krump walked past Xander. "Hi dweeb."

Xander looked at him for a moment and stuck his finger out.

"Ah, I'm on FIRE!"

Cordy put a hand out and quickly refroze him. "Hey, no melting my snowman."

Xander put his arms out as each burst into flames. "You wanna take another whack at it G-man."

* * *

 _Xander watched as the screen froze up. "Oh come on that's twice now!"_

 _Buffy looked at him she's kind of relieved about this. "Thank god that didn't happen in real life."_

 _Xander turned to her. "I thought I would have made a good human torch."_

 _Willow turned to him with a smile. "Think I would have preferred Elsa." She turned to the slayer. "How about you Buffy? Who would you prefer?"_

" _A girl with Super Strength and healing factor… that's enough for me."_

 _Xander turned back to the TV. "And that's why you never ask that to a super hero. Smug woman."_

 _Buffy grabbed a pillow off the couch and threw it at him as the next part started._

* * *

 _Author's notes_

 _Frozen and the Fantastic 4 are owned by Disney_


	6. Death Dealer

Buffy looked at the noblewomen dress, well it has potential. Xander walked next to her a little upset the reconciliation moment got shot to hell. Willow walked next to him "You know I thought we were having a moment there."

Buffy still looked at the dress mesmerized by it. A blast from Angel's past. "Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?"

Xander looked at the dress it's… fine. "Depends is it for you to dress up or is it just something for Angel."

Buffy turned to the teenage boy snapped back to reality, can he please get over her. "What you don't think he'd like me in something like that?"

She did ask for an honest opinion so why not. Maybe he can get her into spandex. "I don't think he will. That guy is an Amazon chaser." Xander defended himself.

Willow looked at him. So he and Angel do have something in common.

Xander pointed at the dress. "This was probably the equivalent of fine dining to him back then."

Buffy sighed and took the black wig. "You're right and with mom out of town I can dress as who I want, it will make Angel laugh... maybe even drool a little and I can make Willow face some fears. Good call Xan"

* * *

Xander walked up to the door ready for the night of sugar rushed hell. He knocks on Buffy's door and in short time he's left drooling. Spike will probably be a little upset though finding out Buffy stole his look. "Hello!"

Buffy rolled her eyes in a leather bodysuit that is going back tomorrow in a black leather duster like Spike's and something that makes Xander laugh. "Hey you know how I spend the other 364 I think it's funny."

"I do too." Xander assured her and for the quarter the shop keep sold them for he wishes he got some too. He turned to the steps. "OK Will ghost ti… Judas Priest!"

Buffy smiled seeing Xander drool over his childhood friend. With Buffy going as leather queen she strong armed Willow into going as the rock girl with the short skirt and midriif shirt showing Xander what he's been missing all these years.

* * *

That night Ethan's spell took hold Willow watched as kids became demons and quickly fled realizing she'd be a main course. She ran to Xander whom quickly caught her.

Willow looked at him and smiled. "Oh thank god."

Xander looked at her and fired at demon's feet scaring them off. "Lady I suggest you find some place safe to lock up tight for the night."

Willow looked at him with a look of disbelief. She finally, finally gets him to notice her and he doesn't remember. That's just not fair. "You really don't remember me?"

Xander shook his head as gunshots rung out. "What was that?"

Both teens ran but saw nothing but a dead demon riddled with bullets.

Xander turned to the redhead uneasy. "Well I'm willing to listen to what you have to say."

Both turned around and were hoisted up by their necks by a dark haired woman,

"What is the meaning of this?"

Willow gasped for breath she doesn't remember slayer strength being this powerfu, of course it was never used on herl. "W-w-we don't know for god sakes."

Buffy looked at the two in her grip. "He said you know what's going on."

"I don't." Willow whimpered out as Buffy dropped them both as they desperately gasped for air reentering their lungs as they frantically pulled themselves off the floor. "I just know that this soldier is my friend Xander and you… you… who are you?"

"Selene"

Willow nodded. "OK Selene, you're really my friend Buffy."

The vampire looked at her with a mean look that could melt the hardest steel. "Right."

Selene walked to the nearest car and looked in the mirror. "Wow, I shrunk a couple." She looked and saw in two places in particular as well, definitely not her real body, what's going on here? "So please tell me you at least know how to fix this?"

"No, but Giles should." Willow assured her. "Just follow me."

* * *

Selene walked with the two as they turned a corner getting closer to the library only to be cut off by Spike, a pirate, and five mini demons.

Spike smiled getting a whiff of slayer. "Well look at you slayer, what a beauty to the eyes you are. That jacket becomes you" Spike put a hand out to reach for her throat.

Selene quickly caught the hand revolted. And she thought the pig Kraven was bad. "Keep your hands off me you smell like cigarettes and cheap booze." Selene wrenched his arm behind his back and hit with an elbow to the back of the head knocking him away.

Spike glared at the girl. "Take them all."

The pirate tackled Xander to the ground as the little demons attacked Selene. Given their limited size and her direct sire was a vampire Elder Selene easily defeated them each with one punch or kick given the situation.

Spike looked at her and smiled only to see her pull out two handguns. He was always afraid of what would happen if the girl wised up and went modern. He quickly ran to the side barely avoiding the bullets.

Selene fired till she was empty and once she was out Spike ran over and tackled her to the floor. Selene flipped him right off back to the floor as each vampire pulled themselves to their feet.

Spike punched the female vampire and not one to back down Selene easily returned it. She pushed Spike back with a bit of a strength advantage for the moment. She pinned him against the wall and punched him a couple times followed with a knee to the gut. She grabbed his head and bounced it off the wall.

Spike kicked her in gut knocking the female vampire off him as his game face came out. Where was this anger last time him and the slayer fought. "Now this makes things interesting."

Spike got up with a snarl and ducked Selene's next punch and quickly hit her in the stomach with a punch and quickly followed up with a knee knocking Selene down to her hands and knees. He picked the death dealer up and kicked her in the stomach, following it with a spinning back fist then a punch with his other hand as Selene stumbles back to the window. Spike grabbed her by her jacket and pushed her head first through it breaking the glass.

Willow backed up as Selene broke out the window and the grip with her own game face but unlike Spike her game face is just elongated canines. She hit him with an open palm to the throat as Spike wobbled back. Selene delivered two quick punches to the head and got her arms around Spike's neck trying to break it. Spike grabbed her arms and broke the grip but Selene just drove his head into the wall in retaliation leaving a dent in concrete.

"That hurt" Spike lunges his head back hitting Selene's face and threw her aside to the floor. Selene tumbled to recover and landed on her knees throwing four throwing star like weapons as each hit Spike in the chest as he groaned in pain. "Sorry pet but those have to be wooden to kill me."

Selene looked at him a slight trail of blood coming down one lip. "We'll see."

Spike looked down to his stomach and saw four blinking lights. "Bugger" Spike whimpered as each of the four bombs went off and William the bloody was blown limb from limb as some of the blood hit Selene in the face. The demons got to their feet and fled from the death dealer.

Selene licked the blood around her to see what that was about as flashes hit her. "Oh"

Willow looked at her "What?"

Selene shook her head. "Nothing, just your friend's nickname came because his poetry was bloody awful."

"Oh" Willow replied as he turned to Xander looking down at an unconscious pirate. "Are you OK in there?"

Xander took a breath and replied. "Yeah, beating up that pirate gave me a bizarre sense of closure."

The three just kept moving forward hoping to get to Giles before things got worse.

* * *

 **The Next Day**

Buffy woke up energized for the new day. She came down with a smile seeing Xander and Willow talking over breakfast and having laughs over last night and to her surprise a kiss on the cheek to Willow, what did she miss? Giles broke the spell apparently. Buffy turned to Xander. "You made Willow breakfast and not me."

Xander looked at her and just looked behind her. "Left it on the counter."

Buffy smiled and saw a stack of waffles for her as she took a bite out of one and felt pure bile sliming down her throat and spat it out. "Blegh, jeez Xander, are you trying to kill me?"

Xander looked at her offended. "Buff, while I lack the culinary skills of the caveman I doubt even I can screw up waffles you put them in the toaster and push down."

Buffy looked at the partially eaten waffle in her hand and it's just an Eggo. "I'll be right back." She bolted into the bathroom and quickly shut and locked the door. She walked to the mirror and took a sigh of relief seeing her reflection. "OK" She ran her fingers over her teeth and came to a stop at the elongated canines. "Oh no, please no."

* * *

 _Buffy frowned seeing the end of the story. "OK this is a load of crap. Xander gets all these good things and I get turned to a vampire."_

 _Xander gave an honest shrug. "Well if it makes you feel any better you're more like a superstrong vampire bat humanoid that keeps your soul. And if that was Selene from the last movie you can walk in daylight." He doubts it though given how much trouble she had with Spike._

 _Willow looked at the older slayer. "Also you and Angel now have a lot more in common."_

 _Buffy let out a smile in disbelief. "Well thankfully this is the real world, and much like the actual Halloween I'm regular old me and proud of it. So let's just watch the next one."_

 _Xander took the remote and hit play. "Here, here"_

* * *

 _Author's Notes_

 _Underworld is owned by Les Wisemen I think his name is not me._


	7. Fork in the Grand Design

Angel looked awkwardly as Wesley continued to threaten the old married couple here in front of them in their motel room. He looks next door and saw the demon hatching from their eggs… Cordy gave them the wrong address, perfect. "Yup that's where you find termites, anywhere, like next door."

Wes looked at Angel nodding his head telling him that's the direction to go he looked at the couple one last time. "Sorry!"

The two ran up and broke open the door just in time to see the last baby skewered by a swordsman and trail of energy leave the demon and enter the sword and through the sword, to the swordsman in jeans and a leather jacket from the looks of it.

Angel's eyes lit up in shock mainly because he hasn't seen the swordsman in two years. He'll be damned he survived all time. "Xander!"

The swordsman turned around and had a crooked smile in disbelief seeing who it was. "Oh, hey Deadboy. What are you doing in LA, is Buffy here?"

"I live here now and Buffy, we broke up." Angel answered kind of in shock. When Xander disappeared after Halloween he just figured something ate him in his righteous knight get up. "And where the hell have you been for the past two years?"

"Sorry to hear about you and Buffy, and roaming demon hunter." Xander answered as he wiped his sword on the bed cleaning all the blood and guts off it. "You?"

"Detective"

"That's nice, got a gun?"

"Got fangs and a broad sword, not as nice as yours."

Xander looked at his sword, if he only knew. "Trust me, I'd trade mine for yours any day."

Angel looked at him. "So, you're a vampire."

"No"

"Demon"

"Sort of… didn't want to set Buffy's supernatural alarm off after Halloween." Xander replied. "So what's with the mini Giles? Are you two a dynamic duo or something?"

"I am Wesley Wyndham Price a former watcher actually, currently a rogue demon hunter." Wes replied.

Angel looked at him. "So are you in town for long?"

"I usually stay a week before moving on a weekend if I can't find a place to crash." Xander replied.

Angel thought it through this might be the most civil conversation these two have ever had. Also he's pretty sure Buffy will stake him if he lets him leave right away. "Well you can stay with me. I'm sure Cordelia would love to see an old friend."

Xander looked at Angel with a fascinated eyebrow. "When you say Cordelia… is there another Cordy I don't know about, because I can't picture Cordelia Chase working with you?"

"She's changed a lot in two years just like you have." Angel replied he hasn't exactly mocked him like he was prone to in Sunnydale.

Xander nodded following the two out as his sleeve seemed to just eat his sword. "Let's just say I've seen enough Angelus wanna bes to know the difference between Soul and Demon."

* * *

The next morning Angel was awake pacing the floor because Cordelia's late. He was taken back seeing Wesley run into the door flustered holding a book and an axe. "I knew it something happened to Cordelia."

Wes looked at him confused he barged in wielding an axe of course he assumes danger. "What, no it's this Xander fellow… I think he's here to kill you."

Angel looked at him well it would explain how the two are getting along. "Why?"

Wes opened his book to a certain page. "His sword it's called Kriss. It's a blade of redemption in a way, supposedly evil can use the sword to purify their souls by using it against something evil, to cleanse the wielder's soul, particularly vampires."

"And what better way to do that then Angelus." Angel realized.

"Tempting, but I'm not going to kill you. And if I was I'd do it in your sleep and be long gone by the time Giles Jr came back. Also I'm sure Buffy would track me down for it." Xander said as he stepped out with groggy eyes and headed to the fridge. "You got anything to drink besides B positive?"

Angel shrugged seeing his point. He senses power on him. "We'll stop and get coffee on the way to Cordelia's."

Xander nodded as Angel went for a coat and turned to Wes. "Where is Cordelia anyway?"

"She's on a date." Wes informed him.

Xander let out a smile he can't wait to see Queen C lay the smack down on Deadboy for this one.

* * *

The three quickly walked down to Cordy's apartment when to Wes and Angel's surprise Xander quickly sped up and ran into the apartment Angel right behind him.

Xander ran into Cordy's room and suddenly stopped with Angel. Wes joined the two in silence at the sight before muttering by god seeing the sight of a very pregnant Cordelia with a nine month stomach.

Cordelia looked at Angel in a bit of shock. "Angel, I'm ready to wake up now… I'm ready to wake up now. I - I don't seem to be - waking up."

Angel looked at her. "It's not a dream."

Cordelia looked at him. "Of course it's a dream dumbass." Cordy pointed behind him. "Not only has Xander been dead for two years, you two came in here buddy buddy, especially if he ever found out about Angelus' return."

Xander frowned seeing this is new and she had a flat stomach yesterday. "It's real Cordy… whatever happened last night… it's real… it's nice to see you again."

Cordy frowned and almost sunk into herself. "Oh god, help me."

Xander sat down on the edge of the bed he's wondering if Kriss can kill a god now. "We're going to, alright. What do you remember?"

Cordy shook her head almost in tears. "Well, we went to the club. And Wilson and I just sort of hid out on this couch and we talked and talked and then he drove me home and I asked him in. – He was really nice. And we ah, - you know? - It was normal. He was normal and it was safe, it was - it was all really safe!"

Angel did his best to calm her. "Shh, shh. It's okay. Have you talked to Wilson?"

Cordy shook her head. "No. I haven't talked to anyone. What would I say to him? 'I had a really great time. I think you left something at my place? I don't think this is right."

Angel reaches for her cordless phone and holds it out to her: "Whatever is happening to you, he may have some answers."

"I can't."

Angel kept the phone out. "Just dial his number and I'll talk to him."

Cordy takes the phone and dials: "Oh, God. I'm being punished."

Wesley shook his head trying to comfort his former crush. "You're certainly not being punished. This is... We'll get to the bottom of it."

Angel takes the phone and hears: "The number you have reached has been disconnected, there is no new number at this time."

Angel hangs up. "He's not answering right now. I want you to rest, and we're going to handle this."

Xander looked at her. "Yeah then we'll drag Wilson here so you can beat the hell out of him, you're not alone in this."

Cordy looked at her belly fearful. "That's sort of the problem, isn't it?" Angel, Xander, and Wesley look at each other. "Could you guys - just leave me alone for now?"

Angel gets up. "We're going to be right outside."

They leave and close the door. The box of tissues floats up from the night stand and one of the tissues floats over to Cordy who takes it, blows her nose and blots at her eyes. The blanket moves up to her neck and Cordy sighs.

* * *

Angel hung up the phone getting through with a contact. "Thanks."

Wesley looked at him. "Any luck with your contact?"

Angel shook his head. "Wilson's home and business phones have been disconnected, no unlisted numbers, no forwarding addresses, no criminal record."

"Well, that's something." Wesley quipped.

Angel sighed. "I'm guessing it's some kind of procrea-parasitic demon."

Wesley nodded in agreement. "Hmm, a demon who can only reproduce by implanting a human woman with its seed. Yes, I've heard of such entities."

Xander's eyes lit up in fear. "Oh god, I've been to the aftermath of one of these. The human mothers…"

"Rarely survive labor, and the ones that do, wish they hadn't." Angel finished.

Wesley looked at the door. "If she's that pregnant in one night, she could give birth at any moment."

"We have to move fast." Angel ordered. "You're gonna have to see what's inside her."

Wesley looked at him shocked. "I beg your pardon?"

Xander glared at him. "Prenatal exam you idiot."

Wesley looked at the two "Oh, of course. And what about you two?"

Angel glared at him. "I'm going to find Daddy."

Xander nodded. "I'll catch up to you Angel; there's someone I have to catch up with first. Might be able to tell me something."

Angel nodded. He's not even going to question it seeing this is almost a completely different Xander. Anything to help Cordelia and two people means it will get done twice as fast.

* * *

Xander looked to the skies in a forest and shouted. "WE HAD A DEAL YOU SON OF A BITCH! GET DOWN HERE!"

Xander backed up as lightning struck at his feet causing him to back up seeing a man dressed in white and blue with a stupid looking hat. "Perhaps you've forgotten but we hand an agreement."

"No, you were on the way to hell and I gave you an instrument to free yourself." The man corrected.

"Yes, and I told you to look out for my friends and I'd be your demonic bounty hunter." Xander countered as Kriss came down to his hand. "Cordy being full of groin spawn about to eat their way out of her stomach says you failed!"

The man looked at him with a fascinated eyebrow. "What do you intend to do attack with swords and chains, very metallic weapons?" Seeing that got Xander to back down for the moment he continued. "Cordy will only die if you let them be born. I suggest you find your friend with the gigantic forehead and save her."

Xander watched as the man disappeared Xander only muttered under breath. "Gods are dicks."

* * *

Xander walked the city it took him two hours but he finally found Angel along with another pregnant woman whom he is assuming is a friend of Cordelia's. She wasn't helpful so the two returned to the hotel lunch in hand.

Xander walked in and Angel separated to go for the phone book. Xander walked to Cordelia with a pizza in hand. "I come bearing cheese and bread, I really ought to patent this..." He looked at her. "Figured you could use something that wasn't pig's blood."

Cordelia smiled and took a slice. "Well you and Willow must be laughing hard now huh. Cordelia Chase, fresh out of high school already baby trapping a millionaire just as you guys said she would."

"I'm not laughing and if Willow is still anything like the Willow I remember she wouldn't be either. If not me and her are going to have some words next time I see her." Xander replied.

Cordy let out a smile and took a bite out of her pizza. "Could have used you last year. Buffy had this plan about gutting Faith and bringing her to Angel to feed off of."

Xander looked at her. "I'm kind of missing some chapters from that."

"Buffy tried to kill a human to save Angel." Cordy cut to the chase.

"Well I'm long over her now." Xander said bluntly he's not even sure he wants to go to Sunnydale to see Buffy after hearing that. but he's sure there's circumstances to it. "So anything else happen on the hellmouth when I was away?"

"I saved the world." Cordy offered.

Xander looked at her suspiciously. "Of course you did."

"I did." Cordy replied offended. She told the almighty Buffy and Faith, they didn't believe her either. Giles just laughed, and Willow went whatever. "How come no one believes that I saved the world? Well defenseless little Cordy saved everyone including your Willow."

* * *

Angel got the address and looked up with a smile seeing Cordy talking to Xander. She was so depressed earlier now she's talking to Xander like it's another day catching up with an old friend telling him the story of how she allegedly saved the world from zombies.

Angel came in breaking up the laughter for now though he hates to do it. "Xander, I got the address."

Xander nodded and got back to his feet. "We'll be back when this is over."

"Xander"

The Sunnydale teen turned around. "Yes"

Cordy looked at him. "I never thanked you for saving my life with Daryl and everything…"

"Save it for later OK." Xander told her leaving right behind Angel.

Cordy nodded and seeing the two off before Xander stuck his head back in.

"Oh, and I believe you about Jack and the other zombies." Xander said with a smile before leaving pulling a smile out of her.

* * *

Wilson shot a pistol at the gun club. They got the money. Now they just have to lay low until tomorrow morning and begin again. He takes his ear protection off and turns to find Angel and Xander standing behind him.

Wilson takes off the safety glasses: "You shouldn't sneak up on people like that in here." He dropped out the empty magazine and puts in a new one. "That's how accidents happen."

Angel looked at him in anger wondering how much Xander will let him get away with. Xander looked at him and wondered what was Cordy thinking. This idiot, she could do better. "Speaking of accidents. We're friends of Cordelia Chase."

Wilson looked at the two. "This is a private club. Featured word – 'private'."

Angel glared at him. "You don't talk to me, I'll kick your ass. Featured word - 'ass'."

Wilson let out a little laugh "Angel, right? Her boss? " He turns and points his gun at Angel's neck. "She told me all about you, man."

Angel grabs his gun hand, making him drop the gun, then twists him around and wraps one arm around his throat. "Yeah, well, somehow, I doubt that." Angel throws him against the wall. "You're human. Then you can't be the father." Wilson tries to get past Angel. "So you and your friends are just a link." He grabbed Wilson by the front of his shirt and pushes him up against a pillar.

Xander looked at him he was hoping for more of a fight but he's only human. "Well this was disappointing…" Angel glared at him. "What? I wanted to kill him."

Angel glared at him and turned back to Wilson. "How does it work? Those things come to term, she'll die. You do know that?"

Wilson looked at him. "So? I'm not telling you anything."

Angel had a bit of a smile. "Was so hoping you'd say that."

Angel hauls back and hits Wilson with a hard right. Wilson hits back, Angel blocks and hits him again, knees him in the stomach, then drops him on the floor with a left hook. Wilson's buddies come in just as Angel gets down to pull Wilson up and hit him again.

Wilson's friend looked at Angel. "Hey! Uhmm, - someone's mommy didn't teach him to play nice."

Wilson picked himself up: "You two have no idea what you're dealing with."

Xander rolled his eyes getting the story from Cordelia about evil Angel. "No I got it, everyone but me is a sad little eunuch."

Angel looked at the collective group. He'll deal with Xander later for that eunuch comment later. "You know, I'm starting to get the big picture here. You guys proxy for big daddy demon, he imbues you with his life force or whatever it is you're implanting in these women."

One of them smiles. "He has trouble finding his own dates. We just - help him out a little, that's all."

Xander had a smile of his own a telepathic link. "Oh good, so we can save the girls by killing daddy."

Wilson glared at his friend. "Shut up, Jason."

Angel looked at the group "And you get what in return, fame, money, success? That's it, isn't it? How else would losers like you get ahead? I mean, you'd have to become procreative surrogates for a vile demonic entity."

Jason with a smirk: "Well, mostly, I do it for the sex."

Jason's response was met with a cold right hand from Xander that did a lot more damage then Angel thought it would as three of his teeth went flying out and scratch marks appeared over his face like he got clawed.

Xander was pushed away by Wilson and held back by Angel. Wilson looked at him and smiled as he said. "Welcome to Los Angeles. There are worse things to be in business with."

Angel gets right into Wilson's face: "Where is he? Where is this demon you worship?"

Wilson smiles as one of his friends pulls a gun from under his sweater. "Even if we did tell you where to find him, it wouldn't matter, since you're both about to have an accident."

Wilson pushes Angel back into Xander, catches the gun Nick throws him and shoots Angel three times in the chest. Angel doubles over groaning as Wilson passed the gun to Jason.

Jason looked at him and asked. "Any las word smart s!"

Xander acted like he was thinking before replying. "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth!" Jason shot him three times as he doubles over falling to one knee.

Angel watched in morbid curiosity as Xander's seemingly now green blood pushed the bullets out in mere seconds and healed him. What is he part mohra demon now?

The guys' smirks disappear when Angel straightens up in vamp face. Followed by Xander whom is not even scratched.

Angel kicked the gun out of Wilson's hand: "I really don't like it when people shoot me."

"Right there with you buddy." Xander replied standing up straight.

Angel proceeds to beat the crap out of the two guys. Xander grabbed one and threw him at the wall face first knocking him out. He looked at Jason and smiled doing the same punch again knocking two more teeth out. At the end Angel kicks Wilson backwards through a glass door when to the surprise of Angel and Wilson a chain wrapped around Wilson's neck and pulled him to Xander.

Xander looked at him with a bit of a creepy smile. "Now you're going to tell us what we need to know."

The two listened as Wilson ran down the address and Xander simply flung him away as the chain went back to hiding seemingly in his jacket. He turned around and was greeted by a punch to the face by Angel.

Xander held his face. "What was that for?"

"Not a eunuch." Angel replied.

Xander walked out of the building with Angel right behind him and sees him going to the payphone. "What are you doing?"

"I gotta call Wes see what we're dealing with?" Angel pointed out.

Xander looked at him. "We don't have the time!"

Angel looked at him. "I'm not going in half cocked, especially with Cordy's life in danger."

Xander glared at him. The images of several woman with ripped open stomach flashes through his mind. "Fine, then you call watcher Jr. and I'll kill the demon."

Angel looked at him as he ran off. "Harris get back here! If you get Cordelia hurt I'll hunt you down to the day you die!"

* * *

Xander walked into the 'oh blessed' birthing room. He looks over and sees the girls all now dressed in ceremonial robes with the last one robing up for the ceremony. He makes a motion with two fingers making a tiny circle. "Dang, missed it by that much." He kept walking knowing the demon is controlling the women with a telepathic link.

He walks over and holds his breath at the brownish yellowish… he's going with stuff he doesn't want to know what that is. "Cordelia" He walks over to the edge of the concoction. "I think it's time for you girls to go home."

Cordy looked at him with submissive eyes. "We don't expect you to understand."

Xander looked at her. "No, I understand you're being brain washed by demons attached to your placenta." That is not Cordy's baby. He walks up the steps to stand on the wide concrete rim of the vat, and crouches down beside Cordy. "You'll die unless you come with me, you all will and, what the hell is that? I've traveled three countries and never smelled anything that bad. Now don't make me come in there after you because no one's going to leave happy if I lash out."

Cordy looked at him. "We serve our master."

Xander rolled his eyes "Fine!" A chain shot out of his arms and grabbed Cordy but before it could go tug the ground began to shake with thundering footsteps. They all look at the huge twenty feet Hacksaw demon stepping through a hole in the wall with a pure demonic look of rage.

Xander gave an innocent shrug. "You're a big one… no wonder you need losers to pick up chicks."

The demon looked at him. "Who is the interloper to think you could disturb the birth of my children? Who are you?"

Xander looked at him, "Xander Harris, rogue demon hunter for Raiden god of thunder." He pulls out his sword. "Now kill your kids or I'll kill you."

The demon pointed at him "That sword! You!?" He let out a low laugh. "You have no idea what you wield."

Xander smiled holding the blade. "Supposedly Kriss the soul purifier. Also known as Datusha the vampire slaughterer, it's sort of a win win for me."

The demon growled. "You said you came here to do battle, then lets fight and be done."

"OK." To Cordelia's shock Xander ran like Angel could and jumped onto the demon's stomach repeatedly stabbing it in the stomach.

The Hacksaw groaned in pain but grabbed him and pulled it off. "You think you could kill me. Even a sword as powerful as that is a mere needle to me. Now let us end this."

Xander shouted in pain feeling his insides being squeezed. "Come on ribs stay together."

Cordelia's eyes could only widen in fear seeing Xander pulled ever close to the demon's mouth but she remained silent. The Hacksaw's mouth began to close but a series of spikes came out through the top of his head as he shouted in pain and was forced to spit his meal out as Xander rolled along the floor dropping his sword.

Xander looked at himself covered in hacksaw saliva. "Eww!"

The demon roared at him. "So you are more then a mere mortal with a sword."

Xander nodded as his eyes were seemingly replaced with glowing orbs. "Yep, on Halloween I went as someone with more problems then even me." Xander eyes turned into green orbs as he stretched stretched his arms out as a black shadow materialized from his jacket seemingly overcoming him as complete body and face armor, red gloves and bracers appeared on his hands arms legs and knees followed by spikes Xander waited as a white mask with devil horns as the top covered the rest of his face making him look like a demonic knight with green eyes as a red cape draped over his back.

The demon looked around and saw a fallen pillar and threw it at the Sunnydale Teen. Xander acted quick as the cape closed around him and hardened to steel as the pillar just split in two around him on impact.

Xander stood up as the steel became a cape again and chains shot out of his arms. He threw the chains upwards from his arms wrapping around the Hacksaw demon's neck. The chains grew spikes as he manipulated them like a chainsaw cutting into the demon's neck and his head fell clean off and the body fell. "Chump" He looked over at Cordy and saw she and the others were still pregnant. "What the?"

He turned around and saw the Hacksaw beast's body getting back up. Much like with Jason earlier spikes came out between Xander's knuckles as he went to punch the head but Xander was smacked away by the body. Xander flung his wrist as a chain wrapped around a pillar and he pulled himself to it. Spikes came out of Xander's fingers allowing him to land on the pillar and climb up to the roof of the shrine.

The demon's head looked around for him. "You flee from our fight! Are you a coward!"

Unseen to the Demon's head Kriss floats up to the roof in a green glow.

"Hey!" The demon looked up and saw Xander behind his body as the Sunnydale native smiled. "Goodbye daddy demon."

Xander jumped down as green energy coursed through Kriss overtaking the sword but still growing until it was long enough to cut through the demon at the shoulder cutting him in half starting with the heart as the two pieces of Hacksaw body hit the floor. Xander let the hellspawn armor recede to his lower back where he keeps it. He's not a fan of it and hates using it.

The women in the vat scream, their bellies slowly deflating. Cordy looks around then walks up the steps out of the vat.

Xander watched as the energy went from the demon's body into Kriss then into him. He looked up and saw Cordelia walking to him. "Cordy?"

Cordelia took the sword off him and repeatedly stabbed the Hacksaw in the head just to make sure.

After the tenth swing Xander grabbed her gently by the shoulder. "It's OK."

"No duh dumbass." Cordy replied knocking Xander down a peg. She's not a little cry Buffy "I just really hate dating, so do you mind."

Xander shrugged. "Have at it."

Xander let her go as he led the other women out and back to their cars. Xander turned around and saw Wesley with Angel holding a giant canister of liquid nitrogen.

Angel looked at him. "We're… here to save you."

"Thanks" Xander replied.

Cordelia came out and handed Xander his sword back. "Thanks for that."

"Yeah, no problem." Xander replied sheathing Kriss back in his jacket.

Angel looked at the two in utter confusion. "Cordy, exactly what happened in there?"

Cordy rolled her eyes. "Xander cut the demon in half." She turned to him with a smile. "So, you mind staying at my place tonight so we can catch up?"

"Sure"

Angel looked at her. "Are you sure that's a good idea. I mean I'm worried about your safety."

Cordy looked at him. "Well, my place wasn't an invitation so he can't get in if he's a vampire which he isn't, I'm no longer a demon mama because of him and oh yeah… Harris just made the fifty foot demon his bitch! I'll be fine."

Xander looked at Angel. "Decapitation"

Angel looked at him. "What?"

"Decapitation, It's pretty much the only thing that will kill me." Xander clarified. "So, if I pull anything tonight Angel will kill me tomorrow. Probably have a battle axe waiting for me."

Angel let out a bit of a smile. Yeah they're different from what they were in Sunnydale but he can just put his sixteen year old face on the body. "I'm going to go sharpen it. Come on Wes"

"But shouldn't we…"

"She can take care of herself."

* * *

Xander walked Cordy to the door and to his surprise it opened for them. Xander looked at her, "I thought you lost all your money how can you afford a doorman?"

"That's not my doorman, that's my ghost." Cordy answered. "Thank you Dennis."

Xander looked up now that she's not in danger he can look around. "Huh well, it's nice to see you still live in style."

Cordy nodded. "A good friend helped me get this place at a steal. With Dennis even so do you want to shower first or should I?"

Xander looked at her. "You, nothing personal but I can still smell that yellow brown stuff on you."

Dennis seemed to agree as they heard the shower running. Cordy smiled and went to get changed with Xander watching her till the door closed to make sure she was OK. Xander turned around and smiled seeing the butcher knife at his throat. "If I take advantage of her after the day she's had, feel free to use it."

He watched as the butcher knife went back into the kitchen as he sat down on the couch and watched TV as the remote floated to his hand.

* * *

An hour later they were both showered as Xander came out in the same clothes. Cordy caught two bottles of beer Dennis floated to her and sat down on the couch in a grey shirt and jean shorts. She looked at him and waved a spot for him to sit down. "So, where were you before LA?"

"Last week I was at a strip club in Mexico. You'll be happy to know there's a lot less vampire like creatures out there now."

"I mean since Sunnydale." Cordy asked. "Why did you run?"

Xander leaned back against the couch. "My whole world changed. Do you remember Halloween?"

Cordy nodded and leaned back with him. "Yeah, you went as Saint John or something right? Because Buffy went as lady helpless."

Xander shook his head. "Close I went as a knight to match Buffy, Sir John of York. And Sir John of York had his own share of problems."

"Like being a demonic knight." Cordy pointed out.

Xander nodded. "Something like that. You see the armor I wear it was made in the world's it came from Hell. And if I die with this thing still attached odds are I'm going to be dragged to hell with it."

Cordy looked at him. "So you travel the world killing every demon in sight with that blade trying to destroy the armor."

"Pretty much" Xander answered.

"That sounds… very lonely." Cordelia summed up her idea on Xander's life.

Xander shrugged. "I got used to the feeling after a while besides, it's not exactly like I had this great social life in Sunnydale."

"Hey, you got no one to blame but yourself on that one." Cordy replied having a laugh. "Anytime anyone attacked Willow you were like a pit bull with a bone."

Xander tilted his head and laughed. "Did you just call Willow my bone?"

"I had a rough couple days OK." Cordy finished. "Besides, half the school thought you and Willow were boning anyway."

"And the other half?" Xander asked.

"Jessie then Buffy" Cordy quipped.

Xander looked at her and laughed. "OK, so what did you think?"

Cordy shrugged well he did ask. "I honestly think you were just too stupid to realize a girl liked you when she did."

"Hey!" Xander protested but was quickly punched in the arm by Cordelia.

"Hey yourself" The cheerleader replied. "I practically threw myself at you after Daryl and you were oblivious to it, honestly I was waiting for the day you realized Willow was a friend with boobs." Cordy looked at him. "And yet at the drop of a hat you picked a fight with a fifty foot demon to save me."

"I couldn't let you die Cordy. I might want to kill you myself sometimes but we're still friends." Xander replied as their two heads moved closer together.

Cordy looked at him and regained her focus. "So where you heading to next?"

"I don't know." Xnader replied.

Cordy looked at him trying to figure this out. "Well you don't have to leave there are always demons here. And Angel Investigations could always use another fighter."

Xander smiled at her. "Is that you giving me a reason to stay?"

"I don't know." Cordy replied as they got closer again. "Just trying to figure it…" this time they kissed and it quickly deepened as unknown to those two a blue energy left Cordelia and entered Xander.

' _When I get that feeling, I want sexual healing.'_

When that music hit Cordy quickly shot off the couch. That's gotta be the first time Marvin ever killed a mood "Well, I'm going to go to bed, goodnight."

"Good night" Xander replied as Cordy bolted for bed. What the hell was he thinking. She's been through enough for one day. The armor is still a ticking time bomb. He'll leave at sun rise before she wakes up. "Thanks Dennis."

* * *

The next day Xander was outside of Angel Investigations at the crack after dawn even Angel will be asleep. He walked up and collected his motorcycle not the fanciest way to travel but it works for him as he drives out of LA. He comes up to the now leaving sign as his eyes glow green. "What the fu…"

He proceeds to hold his head with both hands and falls off the bike as an almost like a video of a teenage girl being shredded by a demon hits him. Xander looked around and saw the vision has stopped but it was about ten blocks back. Xander quickly hopped on his bike and went in the other direction. It took him two minutes to get there and saw the demon chasing the girl down. He grabbed Kriss and wasted no time throwing it into the demons stomach killing it as the energy left Kriss and went to Xander.

"Well, you are predictable."

"And you're…" Xander turned around and saw a metallic demon and red eyes. He was undoubtedly the coolest demon he's ever seen not that he's keeping score. "…The Terminator…"

"The name's Skip, and sadly I'm here to kill you." The demon replied.

"What did I kill your evil wife or something?" Xander asked.

Skip shook his head. "You took something that didn't belong to you. Now I got nothing against you kid. But I gotta crack open your skull to take it back."

Xander closed his fist as the hellspawn symbiote surrounded him turning him into the demonic knight. "Sorry, I don't die that easily."

Skip tired to rush him but five chains quickly snatched him up wrapping themselves around his arms legs and neck as the chains started to glow green melting through his steel hide. "Oh sh…" The demon's arms legs and head were all swiftly removed killing him instantly.

Xander looked at him as the symbiote peeled off and back to his spine. He watched as a bolt of lightening struck revealing Raiden. "Oh yeah, now that the fight is over. What the hell are you doing here?"

"I must work quickly hold still." The thunder god ordered as he put his hands on each side of Xander's head as bits of lightning coursed through causing him to groan in pain as the god chanted.

Xander held his head groaning in pain and kneeling on the floor. "Ok seriously ow, what did you just do?"

"I have binded the visions to you. So they can not be transferred to another." Raiden replied.

Xander looked at him with a glare usually saved for demons. "Why would you do that? I had one and I'm not exactly fond of them."

Raiden looked at him. "Because that was my plan all along."

Xander looked at him, he planned this. "What the hell are you talking about? What plan?"

"I will tell you everything, but you will not like everything I tell you. Maybe even hate me." Raiden warned.

Xander nodded, everyone has an alternate motive anymore. "I'm not that fond of you as is, so let's hear it."

Raiden looked at him and prepared himself for what was coming. "You're not cursed. You never were."

Xander's eyes lit up as he quickly punched Raiden in the face with a spiked fist. "You son of a bitch I'll rip your lungs out." Xander went to rush the thunder god but someone ran up and grabbed him.

"Easy kid, he's on your side."

"Like hell!" Xander shouted at the man… well semi demon. "Now let go!" He looked at him. And He thinks calling him badly dressed would be an understatement. Even by his standards that shirt is awful not to mention the hat.

Raiden got to his feet and held his arms together as lightning surged through. "I do not want to hurt you! Please! Just remain calm so I can talk to you."

Xander shouted as the symbiote came out and he became the medieval hellspawn. Easily knocking the semi demon off him and almost growling at Raiden with Spikes and chains.

Raiden held his finger up showing lightning coursing through it. "You're a living lightning rod… Look how I quiver in fear."

Xander looked at him as the symbiote receded he's fought side by side with Raiden more then once these past two years against Oni and vampires. Not only would he conduct electricity, Raiden could fry him enough till his head pops killing him. "So what's this explanation?"

The half demon got up and dusted himself off and stood next to Xander. "No offense Sparky, but I think it will be easier to just tell all three at once."

"I agree"

Raiden grabbed the two and all three disappeared in a flash of lightning.

* * *

Cordy sat in Angel Investigation playing with her breakfast. Angel's the best cook she knows and even this food can't cheer her up. "Can't believe the dweeb just bailed like that, you know for someone whom he hated, he certainly picked up a lot of your moves."

Angel looked at her Harris is dead next time he sees him. "I'm sure he had his reasons."

The two watched as lightning struck the floor revealing to Cordy Xander, and two other people. One kind of reminds her of Doyle.

Angel looked at them and instantly recognized one of the new guys. "Whistler, what are you doing here?"

"This is Raiden, god of thunder, guardian of earth, we have to tell the three of you a whole lot of things." Whistler replied. "And you're not going to like a lot of it. You mind if we sit down and join you?"

Angel shook his head and quickly whipped up a breakfast plate for Xander and Whistler.

Raiden looked at them. "Now before I begin let me start by saying my actions saved millions perhaps billions of lives." He pointed at Xander, Angel, and Cordy. "And the three of you were the key."

"Oh my god." Xander said as he turned to Cordelia. "These eggs are amazing. How is someone without any taste buds such a good cook?"

Cordelia smiled. "I know right, especially for someone on the liquid diet."

Angel glared at the two. "Children!"

Whistler let out a smile. "Let's try this stop me when it sounds boring. There was once a vampire with a soul, cursed for all the bad things he did, but destined to become a hero. Boring right? Like all hero stories it needs a girl, vampire slayer by trade."

"Not boring but you are at dull." Xander pointed out.

Whistler nodded in agreement. "Well much like most superheroes you need a certain tragedy to strike that final cord. So, the vampire slayer drowned, leaving Angel to suffer extreme guilt when he realizes what happened and that it happened because he was a coward. He no longer cared about what's right or wrong, he just wants several pounds of flesh from the vampire that did it. He slaughters the vampire's cult and in a grief stricken rage kills the Master and vows to honor Buffy by being the champion for the innocent in Sunnydale with Xander, Cordelia, Willow, and Giles at his side. Two of his childes find out that he's usurped the master and come to Sunnydale only to find out the truth about the soul. Spike doesn't mind because it will help him cure Drusilla. However while the curing is going on the Scooby gang as they often do break up the ritual. Cordy not feeling anywhere near what Buffy felt for Angel having those feelings for Xander decided not to cut Angel free but to simply stop the ritual by staking Drusilla right then and there setting her free from her madness. Having lost Dru Spike loses his passion for the world and decides everyone dies. He fails with the judge, and Angel's big day comes when the two clash with the swords of Acathla, Angel scoring his big day by sending Spike straight to hell. Does any of that sound familiar?"

Cordy looked at him. "Are you high, except for the drowning that's not how any of it happened!"

Whistler shrugged in acceptance. "I know, but that's how it was supposed to happen." He turned to Xander. "Until Fate's sledgehammer over here showed up and destroyed everything. He showed the powers that the grand design can be changed by free will." He turned to Angel. "He chose to shame you to help and chose to go down to save Buffy."

Raiden picked up the story from here. "And when one of the higher powers realized the grand design could be changed she made her own plans for the grand design. One that would ensure her, her own reign on earth, and millions lost even if she had failed."

Xander looked at Raiden and had a good idea how this went from his time with the Thunder god. "I take it you being the guardian of earth objected to this higher being's plan?"

Raiden nodded. "She quickly put her plan into fruition by moving you and Cordelia closely together after Daryl. However, the power seeking this planet is an immature petulant child. I would not let her take earth without a fight. I sought out the assistance of the elder gods and they told me the keys were the heart, the seer, and the vampire with a soul. So when she made her plan for earth. I made plans of my own. Starting with Halloween."

* * *

 **October 1998**

Raiden looked his clothes over the purple shirt the khaki pants… he hates masquerading as a mortal. Ethan looked at the customer and saw the faintest trace of power on him. "May I help you sir."

Raiden looked at him and knew he was a chaos mage. He looked at the suit of armor. "Yes" He handed a wad of money to Ethan and pointed to Xander. "I'd like to buy that suit of armor for that boy."

Ethan looked at him. "I'm pretty sure he just brought a toy…"

Raiden's eyes flickered with power as Xander's toy gun exploded.

Xander looked at the broken mess. "Ok, that was defective." He looked over at Buffy and Willow stopped in their tracks by an old dress. Xander rolled his eyes. Walk around as Angel's version of dinner wonderful idea if he ever heard it.

He sees the shopkeeper sell Buffy the dress and he rolls his eyes. Great Buffy's going like that… sexy and wild my ass.

Xander looked up and rolled his eyes seeing the knight's costume. He watched as the shop keep came up to him.

Ethan looked at the suit of armor, it seemed kind of different. "You know that blond just brought a dress that goes with this."

"That obvious huh?" Xander asked and looked at the name tag. "Sir John of York… well maybe G-man can give me a sword to use. So how much?"

"Free, provided you tell no one that the gun that exploded came from here."

Xander smiled. "Throw in the two bucks from the gun and you got a deal."

* * *

Back in the present Xander shot a glare at the thunder god. "You've been planning this thing for two damn years now? Why the hell did you trick me into leaving Sunnydale with that cursed soul crap?"

"I needed you off the hellmouth." Raiden answered. "So the higher power couldn't use your love for Buffy and turn it into jealousy against Angel. So she couldn't take the love you and Cordelia had and used it against you."

Cordy's eyes widened at that revelation. "Wait, you mean to tell me that, me and him, we were supposed to be a thing."

"Is that a shocker to you cheerleader?" Whistler asked.

Cordy looked at Xander and can see it. He's a genuine demonic hero like Doyle was and she was ready to give him a chance. "Not anymore."

* * *

Wesley came into the office with a smile seeing Cordelia. "Cordelia it's a pleasure to see you back so."

"Wes sit down!" Cordy practically barked and Wes took a seat.

Xander turned back to Raiden never getting an answer. "So why send me away why turn me into well…"

Xander let the symbiote took over and spread creating the red footwear and armwear followed by spikes at certain areas. He almost growled as his eyes turned green and the armor covered his face followed by the white mask that resembled a helmet with devil horns. "This"

Wesley looked at him and did what he could to speak. "No wonder you showed no fear fighting the Hacksaw."

Angel looked at Xander but looked away. "It's not that impressive."

Xander smirked as the symbiote receded. "Not that I'm complaining but what was the point of that?"

Raiden looked at him. "Because of the three you were the only one that was negligible,"

Xander glared at him as his eyes turned green. "Screw you Thor wanna be,"

Raiden took a breath. "I meant you were negligible until today. You needed to learn how to fight for today… although admittedly I thought the fight with Skip would last longer… but I'd like to think those two years gave you plenty of time to master your powers."

Angel turned to Whistler. "Not that it's not an interesting story, and I'm guessing some sinister plan but, how do I factor into it?"

Whistler looked at him and explained he always was impatient. "It takes a lot of stars to line up for a higher power to give birth to itself. No human can even handle a preg…"

Cordy's eyes lit up cutting him off. "Oh come on! How many things want to impregnate me with it's mystical offspring! And no way on earth, would I ever be stupid enough to give him a happy!"

Whistler looked at her. "Trust me princess you don't want to know who you did… would have done."

Xander looked at the god of thunder. "Skip said I stole something that I shouldn't have. I went through all my pockets, I don't have anything that wasn't mine to begin with except for a slight migraine that started off much much worse."

Whistler looked at him with a smile the crazy hat bastard pulled this off. "That's what Skip wanted. I'm guessing you saw someone in trouble this morning."

Xander gave a weak nod not sure what that meant but it was Cordy whom was laughing. Xander turned to the Sunnydale mean girl. "What's so funny?"

Cordy stopped and smiled her brain is thankful. "You took my visionity."

Xander looked at her. "As I heard it from anyone whom Tom was willing to brag to that ship sailed fresh… Ow!"

Wesley looked at him rubbing his side. "Are you OK Xander?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah I fell kidney first into Cordy's elbow." He turned to the girl. "And for the record if you think last night was that you have worse parents then I do."

Cordy glared at him. "Visionity dumbass, not virginity, you took my visions when you kissed me."

Angel looked at his employee. "You kissed her."

"She kissed me." Xander countered.

Cordy smiled with a cup in hand. "Do know one thing for sure not gonna miss having my skull ripped open and hot lava poured in."

Xander glared at her now he's got it. "Yeah, you're welcome."

Raiden cleared his throat getting their attention. "The fact of the matter was this thing intended to use the three of you to crawl it's way into the world using the visions. That is no longer a possibility. The visions are yours to bear now Xander, until you die. I doubt the other powers would want you people flying blind."

Xander looked at him given what he's walked away from for the past two years. "And how long is that?"

Raiden looked at him. "While you're not likely to die a violent death save for one way, the armor only extends to outside your skin you can still age and be afflicted with human diseases."

Xander looked at the god. "Just one last thing, why Kriss?"

Raiden let out a small smile. "That armor you wear drains the users life force. The blade draws energy of the demons it vanquishes. That's what you're tapping into instead of your own life force whenever you use that armor. I had to make sure you'd be alive long enough So Cordelia could pass the visions onto you."

Angel looked at the two. "So that's it then."

Whistler nodded. "You three still have great destinies ahead of you. Especially the princess here, her whole life is hers now."

Raiden looked at Xander for which will likely be for the last time. "The rogue power has been stopped and the millions of lives she'd have ended, and the souls she would have devoured have been saved. "This concludes the business between us Mr. Harris. I thank you for everything you've done and sacrificed. You've saved millions farewell."

Xander looked at the departing trail of lightning as Raiden and Whistler disappear. He lost out of two years with his friends because of him. "Don't even think of calling me again! Manipulative bastard."

Xander sat down with everyone there taking some time for all of that to register. "So apparently we saved millions of lives go team us."

Angel leaned back he has a feeling that was more about Cordelia and the two of them just played a part. "So what happens now?"

Cordy looked at him and realized he might just leave again like he planned to. "So what's next for you?"

Xander thought about but drew a blank. "You know for the first time in two years… blue eyed slimey thing."

Wes looked at the teen. "Blue eyed slimey thing"

Xander held his head as his eyes glowed green and slammed it into the table as the vision hit him. "Oh god, Cordy wasn't kidding about the lava thing." Xander took a couple calming breath's as the hellspawn armor did it's job and fixed his headache right up. "I can figure that out later. Right now there's a girl at a place called Rodbell's that needs our help."

Angel led the way followed by Xander, Cordy, and Wesley. He has a feeling as to what Xander is going to choose to do with his life. Now, how will Cordy react to the pay cut.

* * *

 _Xander hit the pause button before the next story started. "Well that was weird."_

 _Willow nodded. "You mean the guy in the tiki hat stopping Cordy from becoming the vessel for Jasmine."_

 _Xander looked at his best friend."No, I actually meant me and Angel as a Lethal Weapon like team but that too._

 _Buffy snagged the remote from her best friend's hands She wishes Xander and Angel had that much respect for each other in this world. "And next chapter"_

* * *

 _Author Notes_

 _I wanted to try something different then X kicks Spike's ass._

 _Spawn is owned by Todd Macfarlene so I'm assuming that goes for the medieval version too. Raiden is owned by the WB.  
_


	8. The Unexpected volume 2

Buffy walked into the living room in her princess noble get up. She was hoping to have Angel with her tonight but her mother's unexpected return home put a stop to that. She walked in and to her surprise saw her mother in costume as a soldier. "Mom, what are you wearing?"

"Oh, well since the meeting fell apart I thought I might go to a costume party when I run out of candy here." Joyce replied.

Buffy looked over the greenish yellow clothes black and black fingerless gloves. "I see." She goes to the front door. "She smiles seeing Xander at the front door.

"Private Harris reporting for…" Xander looks at her as most functions in his brain shuts down. Buffy looked even more gorgeous with that dress. He should have known if there anyone that could make that big pink fluffy thing work it was her. ""Buff! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe! I completely renounce spandex!"

Buffy played along with a little curtsy. "Thank you kind sir."

Joyce watched the two with a smile as she walked in. "So, Xander, can I trust you to watch my daughter on this crazy night?"

Xander gave a salute. "Yes ma'am I will watch your daughter's rear." Xander watched as both Summers eyes rose and he realized what he said. "Not Buffy's rear, just her behind, not Buffy's behind, just behind her, suddenly I'm channeling Willow today."

The two Summers woman just have a laugh at the boy.

* * *

Willow looked at her body well that can't be good. She hears demons growl and runs out seeing Xander shooting at them. Xander shoots at the demons keeping them away as he walks gun in hand.

He took a couple steps forward until he was punched in the throat by an unknown attacker whom grabbed his gun and flipped him to the floor.

Willow ran over to see a very unique sight of Joyce looking at Xander on the floor a gun in her hand looking like she might shoot the boy. She quickly ran up only for Joyce to point the gun at her. "Whoa, whoa."

Joyce kept the gun aimed at Willow. "Who are you?"

Willow looked at her. "You honestly don't know who I am?"

Joyce lowered the gun seeing the fear in her eyes. She doesn't know anything. "Young lady I suggest you lock yourself indoors and stay put."

Xander got to his feet and rushed at Joyce in a blind rage. Joyce looked at her opponent more annoyed then anything as she punched him in the liver and threw him to the floor as the delayed reaction hit and Xander laid there shouting in pain.

Willow ran to him as he got up again. "What are you gonna do? She'll knock you down and if she wants to she'll shoot you dead."

Xander glared at Joyce in blind rage not even caring how she's still alive. "Do you know who this is?"

"Mrs. Summers" Willow said bluntly.

Xander shook his head. Every soldier whom ever enlisted knows who she was and more importantly who she was when she died. "No lady, that's The Boss. She's the genocidal bitch that nearly caused world war 3."

The Boss looked at him. Did the US bring her back stateside after she was killed? "I did not betray my country I died for it."

Willow let out a whistle getting the attention of the two soldiers. "Hey! Right now we need to focus on staying alive, not who did what. Let's find Buffy and get indoors."

"Buffy?" The Boss asked. That's a stupid name.

Willow smiled seeing the slayer. "Lucky us she's right there.'

The two soldiers followed Willow whom ran right to the black haired girl. She looked behind her and saw two demons coming. "Buffy what do we do?"

Buffy promptly fainted.

The Boss looked down at her and sighed pulling out the handgun shed had strapped to her hip and gave it to Xander. "Watch our back, red lead the way." Xander took the gun and turned the safety off. He looked at the traitor only to find his rifle pointed at his face The Boss didn't even turn around. "Don't even think about it." Xander put Buffy over one shoulder and gave a salute.

* * *

The two soldiers, the ghost and the child came into the room and Xander just dumped Buffy on the couch. The Boss quickly took the gun from him and swapped out with the rifle. "OK according to Willow these are all innocent people. Any monsters comes close shoot the floor around him or shoot to wound."

Xander took the rifle and saluted. "Yes Ma'am" He looked out the window. "Can I save her first?"

Boss looked out the window and saw someone dressed as a cat being chased by a monster. "Go"

Xander ran out and hit the monster with his weapon in a melee attack and led Cordelia back to the house.

Willow looked at the new arrival well this should be interesting. "OK, your name is Cordelia and you're not a cat."

Cordy rolled her eyes in frustration at the madness of tonight. "Thanks Willow, you went mental when?"

Willow looked at her confused. "Wait, you know who I am?"

Cordy nodded. "Yeah lucky me I ran into you, after I was attacked by Jojo the dog faced boy. You think Partytown will give me my deposit back? So what's going on?" Xander took off his jacket and gently placed it on the teenager to her surprise. "Thanks"

Willow looked at her. "They all have some form of amnesia. I have to find Giles and figure out what this is. Can you just try to keep them here?"

Cordy turned to her distracted for a moment looking at Xander. "Sure" Cordy sat next to Buffy. "Who put her in charge?" Willow went out through the wall as Buffy's eyes rose.

* * *

An hour later the door opened as Angel ran in to the house seeing Buffy arguing with Xander. "Thank god you guys are alright, its total chaos out there."

Buffy and Xander looked blankly at the new arrival before they ask. "Who are you?"

Xander looked at the newcomer curious. Willow said most vampires would have to be invited in. "Do you live here?"

Angel shook his head. "No and you know that." He turned to the slayer and reached to touch her but the noble backed away startled. "Buffy, what's going on?"

Angel reached for her and to the surprise of all three; another hand grabbed his as the Boss looked at him and punched him in the face.

Angel wobbled back holding his nose for a moment. Angel took a step towards Joyce and received a punch to the liver as his nervous system short circuited and the boss threw him through one of the kitchen cabinets head first.

Xander just let out an impressed whistle as Cordy came running down the steps. Can't she go to the bathroom for two measly minutes? "Nobody kill anyone, please!"

The Boss looked at the creature she was fighting. Guess being the Sorrow's lover gave her a sort of sixth sense on what's different. "He's not human."

"I know he's a cuddly care bear with fangs." Cordy conceded. "But if we're going to make it through the night we need him."

Boss nodded knowing the situation and took charge. "OK Harris, take the cat and the bimbo and get upstairs. Shoot at the feet of anyone you see trying to get in. "I and this thing will take the first floor."

Xander put a hand to his head wondering the Boss' true story but that's for later. "Yes Ma'am." Xander quickly led the two girls upstairs as a vampire broke through the backdoor. The boss caught the demon with an elbow to the side and flipped him to the floor. Angel quickly kicked him in the face.

* * *

Two hours later Willow and Giles had found Ethan and broke the bust of Janus. Joyce looked around as reality came rushing back. Was that all real?

Xander, Cordy, and Buffy came down. Buffy looked at her mother. OK think she's the slayer she can think of a way out of this. "Well did everyone else taste something weird in the drinking water this afternoon?"

"Did taste kind of funky." Xander agreed.

Cordy saw Joyce looking. "Oh, my family's not poor so we just drink imported water."

Joyce just gave a weak nod… right, it was the water.

* * *

 **One month later**

Joyce watched her daughter come in doing her best to hide a red stain on her shirt. "Pizza again?"

Buffy nodded. "We like pizza."

Joyce nodded as she got to her feet and looked at it. "That would be fine… if it was pizza."

"It's pizza" Buffy assures her.

Joyce shook her head. "Pizza doesn't coagulate, dead blood does."

Buffy looked at her uncomfortable. "I gotta go."

Joyce act quick and grabbed one of Buffy's arms outstretching it and putting her free hand under her daughter's neck and pushing both Summer's women back into the wall.

Buffy struggled for a moment but realized Joyce wasn't choking her as she pulled a couple slayer moves and before long had her mother pinned against the wall with her elbow.

Joyce looked at her daughter with a smile. "Good counter. Of course you would have had to have been two hundred pounds to counter like that. Is there something you want to tell me Buffy?"

Buffy looked in shock she walked right into her mother's trap and showed her slayer strength. "We have a lot to talk about."

* * *

 _Buffy watched as the DVD just stopped right there. "My mother knew I was the slayer that early! Creepy thought."_

 _Xander took a bite of popcorn. "Joyce as the Boss… there's some scary thoughts of how the rest of us were raised."_

 _Willow smiled realizing this. "Or Giles' reaction because I don't think she'd take too fondly to her daughter being used as a weapon… hey next one's starting._

Author Notes

The Boss is owned by Konami… who aren't making anymore big games.


	9. The Unexpected Volume 3

Buffy looked at Giles. He was her watcher he deserved better then this. "Giles, I am so sorry for this."

Giles looked at her trying not to be upset. "Yes, I know, so how exactly did you volunteer me for this Halloween thing again?"

"Snyder cornered me; I asked why you didn't have to. You got volunteered with me." Buffy explained.

Giles looked at her. "So I owe it to you that I'm working on my one night off."

Buffy innocently shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry, hey how about this for you?" She smiled and ran over to a costume. "It just screams you. Stuffy, old, it's you as an American."

Giles glared at her for a moment before conceding. "While I do have respect for the man. I just don't know."

Buffy looked at the costume. "Yeah I guess you can't pull it off. I just thought you'd like it because Ms. Calendar always said she had a thing for him."

Buffy smiled walking away and looking in the mirror as Giles grabbed the costume. She wonders why the floorguy just ran out the store.

* * *

Xander walked up with a smile in his soldier getup, petites and an old gun from when he was a kid. 0.00 the perfect price for a costume. He saw Giles. "Sup G-man… with a beard."

Giles looked at him. "You know I do outrank you."

Xander nodded. "Yeah, but you're dust in the wind." He knocked on the door and saw Buffy in her cheerleader costume. "That's not a costume. Don't get me wrong love the visual but, it's not a costume."

"Sure it is." Buffy countered spinning around as her skirt lifted a bit higher. "See, Cheerleader from Hemery, still fits."

"Can you do that again I didn't get a good look?" Xander asked but Giles glare stopped it.

Xander looked at her one problem. "So why didn't you go as a Sunnydale cheerleader?" Sure the original cheerleader recovered but she still paid for the clothes.

Buffy let out a smiled and shouted. "Willow come down here. No one can laugh in front a US President anyway it's like an unwritten law."

"Promise?"

"Yes" Buffy and Xander reply.

Xander watched as Willow came down in the modest Sunnydale cheerleader costume she borrowed from Buffy. "Wow, Will you look great."

Willow looked at him with raised eyes. "So I looked ugly before?"

"No, not what I meant." Xander assured her. "I just meant you… I'm not making it out of tonight with my dignity am I?"

"No" Willow assured him with new confidence as she wrapped her arm around his and led him out. Buffy and Giles just smiled following right behind them.

* * *

 **Later that night**

"Oy watcher!"

The person in Giles' costume looked at him. "May I help you son?"

Spike smiled with ten of his friends as his game face came out.

* * *

Ethan's spell took hold and Buffy quickly took control meeting up with Xander and Willow whom never left each other's side the whole night. Buffy led the group on a hunt for Giles.

Xander stopped at a corner to catch his breath. "Buff, we're not going to do any good to Giles if we're half dead when we find him."

Buffy shook her head, "We have to keep moving all the costumes are changing which means he's defenseless right now."

Xander sucked air but kept following Buffy. What the hell he'll stop when he's dead. He turned and saw Willow. "You OK?"

Willow nodded. "I'm not meant to run in these shoes." Willow replied. There's a reason she's not a cheerleader… besides the obvious shyness.

Xander stopped and scooped her up carrying her as she was slowing them down.

Buffy heard a familiar groan. "He's over there." She led followed by Xander as both stopped to take in the sight. "What the hell?"

Willow looked on as Xander put her down. "I thought you dressed him up as… well you know."

"I did." Buffy defended herself like it should have been obvious. "I can't explain this unless I slept through a much greater deal of history class then I thought."

* * *

They watched Giles holding off eight vampires Spike among them with an axe. Xander watched as he used the handle to stop a vampire from biting and flipped him onto another. "Whoa!"

Buffy looked at him. "Giles hang on we're…coming."

Buffy ran in stake in hand and dusted two while they were focused on Giles. Xander grabbed one from behind in a full nelson and Willow stood with a stake ready to kill it. "Xander hold him steady."

Willow smiled and just staked him.

* * *

Spike looked at Giles, if the watcher was this good where was he on parent's night? "What the hell is this?"

Spike pushed him back and Giles stood fighting for control of the axe. Giles struggled a bit for control of the axe but saw what he needed and pushed a button. The top shot out a bit at Spike revealing a trigger as the vampire asked. "What the?"

Spike shouted in pain as the bullet shot sounded through as he lost his grip on the axe and grabbed his wounded leg. Giles took one quick horizontal swing and cut his head off.

* * *

Willow turned only to have the stake knocked out of her hand by a vampire. Xander ran over and tackled the vampire to the floor whom quickly rolled over.

The vampire smiled well at least he'll get a last meal before the slayer and the watcher take him out. He went for the neck only to raise his head and collapse into dust as Willow fell through the dust and onto Xander.

Xander smiled looking at her smile he lifted his hand and cupped her face. He quickly realized what was about to happen and pulled back. Willow frowned and got off him.

Giles looked at the two teenagers. Now those two seem similar. "Young man, might I have a word with you."

Xander shrugged. "Sure, not like anyone's going to believe I had this conversation anyway. Lead the way in your nice hat."

Buffy watched as they go. "What are they going to talk about?"

Willow gave an innocent shrug because she honestly isn't sure.

* * *

Xander looked at him. Now what does someone close to 150 or even older have to say to him? "What's on your mind?"

Giles turned to look at Willow. "Does that girl have leprosy?"

"What?...no!" Xander replied almost shell shocked. "Why?"

Giles nodded and looked at her again. "Any other diseases?"

"No!" Xander shouted.

Giles looked at Willow again and back to Xander. "I get it, she's a vampire?"

"No" Xander replied.

"Because there's nothing wrong with having a good vampire as a friend." Giles assured him.

Xander glared at him. "There's nothing wrong with Willow it's just…"

"Just what?" Giles asked him. "What makes her so bad that you were upset that you touched her? I can see it in your eyes you feel something for her but you're fearful at the same time."

Xander looked at him. No memory afterwards please. "It's not her it's me. I just, if I ever turn into my father, she'd… she'd just let me and take it. I don't want that for her."

Giles looked at him an abusive father and he's afraid of history repeating itself. "Your fear is completely unfounded. That girl just killed two vampires and if she was ever hit she'll hurt you much worse then you could ever hurt her." Honestly she strikes him as more violent then the boy is. "Why don't you give her a shot even if she does just accept it as you fear the blond fighter definitely won't?"

Xander smiled a bit. "Can I ask you something?"

"Certainly"

Xander thought on it there would probably be a lot better questions asked by a lot better people but he has to know. "Why are you getting involved in my life like this?"

Giles smiled. "Because I see a lot of you in me particularly the dedication to your friends and headstrong tendency to fight vampires. If friends hadn't intervened in my life I would have never stayed with my Mary."

Xander nodded knowing the significance of that name. "OK thanks for answering that."

Xander and Giles walked over to the two women. Buffy looked at them. "So, what did you two talk about?"

"Nothing important." Giles assured them.

Xander looked at Willow and she's changed since last year. No more mommy clothes, maybe the honest president is right. "You want to go to the movies tomorrow?"

Willow looked at him confused. "Sure, we can just meet at Buffy's house."

"No, no" Xander replied. "I mean just you and me. Move and maybe dinner after it to talk about the movie."

Willow looked at him oh goddess is he asking her out. "Oh I uh, uh, I think me and Buffy have a thing."

Buffy shook her head. "No I can do that thing with Angel, but I will stop by and help you accessorize." Buffy walked up with Giles. "So you're really the president aren't you?"

"Yes, young lady I am."

Xander rolled his eyes and put his arm around Willow as the red head smiled and he muttered out. "Brown noser"

Buffy pointed. "Hey, when else can I get slaying advice from Abraham Lincoln."

* * *

 _Willow hit pause as the next story started up. "OK, so apparently all it took to get Xander to notice me was a dead president, knew I shouldn't have spent my last five on that ghost costume."_

 _Buffy smiled. "See what happens when you hide?"_

 _Willow looked at her. "You realize you like girls better?"_

 _Xander watched the screen intently. "I'm more baffled by Abraham Lincoln cutting up vampires, how come that never showed up in history class?"_

* * *

 _Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter is written by Seth Grahme-Smith_


	10. Someone Else's Prey

A leather jacket wearing man hit the floor with a resounding thud getting up for the debris of the car he was laid into. The T-800 reached behind it and reattached his skull half his face was blasted off in an earlier attack. "You will pay for terminating Sarah Conner."

His opponent just stuck his hand out and fired a green energy ball that blew the machine to pieces taking the Sunnydale student it was with him.

The monster that killed the two let out a sadistic laugh. Earth's weapons are pitiful. He'll blow this planet to bits in no time. The monster looked at itself in the mirror looking at the two bracers on his hands. The white pants with purplish red on top: He let out a disgusting laugh with his blond hair firing blasts throughout the city hitting whatever they fall on as he laughed.

A moment later Warren Mears looked around and took in the sight of what he has done. He killed Betsy for shutting him down and her tailback boyfriend. He looked at them nervously knowing he'll go to jail. But for what, would they really believe he killed them with saiyan energy attacks. He let out a smile realizing he'll get away with it. The smile only grew wider seeing he still has super saiyan blond hair.

* * *

 **A year and a half later**

Angel rolled along the floor of Sunnydale. This is going horribly. They beat the mayor. Blew him to chunks; now this thing shows up. The student body is exhausted. Faith is in a coma. The students are aching from the fight with vampires. Everyone's too tired to stand up let alone fight back.

Buffy hit the floor with a resounding thud. Who is this guy her best slayer moves didn't even phase him.

Warren smiled with one wave of the hand Buffy fell to the floor. "Come on slayer I thought you were bad. Probably just never fought a real man huh."

Warren picked up her up and with one hand she was sailed through the air and landed on the floor unconscious. The last piece of the puzzle, after just letting him leave way out of town Spike was long gone. Since he couldn't figure out a way around his immortality he waited until Buffy took down the mayor. She's all that's left in the way of him ruling Sunnydale.

"Kallia, Hera, Kronos, Tonic, air like nectar, thick as onyx, Cassiel by your second star." Warren turned to Willow as the witch finished. "Hold Mine victim as in tar."

Warren shouted in place and Angel watched in horror as his hair turned to gold and he just kept getting bigger and bigger. What the hell are they fighting? Warren threw a punch and shattered the barrier as Willow fell to the floor a bloody nose for her trouble. Warren looked at the witch a green ball forming in his fist. "She's first."

"No" Angel ran for him but Warren already fired at Willow before he even got close. Xander chose to dive in front of her. He told Cordy he wasn't making it out of graduation. The one time he was right.

Angel watched as a dear friend… and Xander were caught in the blast as the green ball exploded. "Bastard!" Angel lunged at Warren in a flurry of punches but the former tech geek just grabbed him by the throat and hoisted him of the ground with one hand not even feeling it.

Warren looked at him with morbid curiosity. "I wonder if I could take your head off one handed."

They were cut off by an energy blast punching through Warren's shoulder as he forcefully dropped Angel and held the wound. "What?"

Angel watched as the smoke cleared and he saw a weird cat thing covering up Willow and in Xander's clothes, that's the thing that killed the Judge.

Beerus took a breath of relief seeing both hands and feet. Everything's still attached as he gently put Willow down. "Stupid kid, I barely took control in time."

Warren glared at him. "Who the hell are you?"

"Beerus, the god of destruction."

Angel looked in disbelief. Has Harris has been hiding this guy the whole time.

Warren looked at him. "We'll see." Warren fired a volley of shots Beerus to no effect. The god just stood there.

Beerus let out a smile full of evil intentions. "You seem like an evil guy so I'll enjoy destroying you."

Warren growled in anger he'll never be bullied again. "I run this town now!"

Angel watched as Warren rushed when all of the sudden the front of his head was located where the back should be and Beerus' foot is where his face should be. He watched as Warren's body deflated, his hair turned back to its natural black and his body fell to the floor dead.

Beerus just looked at Angel and calmly floated away.

* * *

Angel walked over to Buffy. Maybe she has an explanation for what the hell just happened. Thank god that thing didn't come out last year at the hospital. "Buffy, are you alright?"

Buffy weakly nodded as she opened her eyes. "Yeah, I think so." She got to her feet and saw Warren's body. "What happened to him?"

"Xander killed him." Angel informed her.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Yeah right, good one." She went over and woke up Willow with Angel following her.

"He did." Angel assured her. "He turned into this purple demon thing and killed him."

Willow opened her eyes groggy but heard purple demon thing. "Oh Beerus pulled us out of the fire again."

Angel shook his head. "No Xander did."

Willow looked at him disapprovingly Angelus is the liar not him. "How could Xander beat someone Buffy couldn't on his own."

Angel groaned. "By turning into this Beerus guy."

Buffy laughed. "Yeah, Xander transformed into a god of destruction. Now you get a sense of humor, now that we broke up." She walked over to Giles and started waking him up.

Angel glared at them. "Buffy, I swear to you it's not a joke."

Giles opened his eyes feeling concussion number… well he lost count. "What's not a joke?"

Willow rolled her eyes. "Angel thinks Xander is Beerus."

Giles let out a laugh. "Yeah right."

Angel glared at the three. "It's not a joke, Xander became Beerus. He's a teenage boy that can't keep a girl; he's the god of Destruction, together they share the same body in a wacky TV sitcom situation, which must be how he destroyed the Judge."

Willow looked at him. "Xander is Beerus? Since when?"

"Since about six seconds ago." Angel shouted.

Buffy stopped laughing as she put some thought into Beerus' appearances. "Come to think of it Beerus does appear when we're in serious trouble."

Willow thought on it too. "And come to think of it Dawn did dress Xander up as him for Halloween. Oh my god Beerus is inside Xander's body."

Angel smiled seeing he's finally getting through to them.

Giles nodded taking his glasses off. "Xander and Beerus share the same body. Two people in the same being… should we assume there's some kind of connection between Xander and Beerus?"

Buffy and Willow shook their heads and Willow replied. "No way, Xander is not that powerful."

Angel looked at them and caught on. Magic, anyone who sees Xander and Beerus' little presto chango instantly forgets and he being more then human remains immune. Well at least when he goes to LA Buffy will be in good hands.

* * *

Xander opened his eyes and saw the familiar steel he looked around him and saw himself surrounded in twinkies like Scrooge McDuck and his money bin. He's in the Hostess factory. "Not again!"

* * *

 _Xander let out a healthy laugh. "I wish I could have done that… even if I'd had no memory of it."_

 _Buffy nodded. "Probably made the fight with Glory easier though."_

 _Willow frowned. "Believe me you don't as much as he had it coming I regret the dark path it set me on."_

 _Xander ran his fingers through her hair. "You found your way back."_

" _I had someone who wouldn't quit on me. One who would have stayed with me to the end after I caused it." Willow countered as the next chapter started._

 _.DBZ is owend by Akira Toriyama  
_


	11. Pull Back Your Bows

Xander smiled looking up at the costume. This is his; he doesn't care if he has to dip into the road trip fund. This is what he's wearing for Halloween tonight. Willow and Buffy looked over it.

Buffy turned to her best friend. "Have you ever seen a boy so mesmerized by the costume?"

Xander just took it off the shelf along with the key accessory he'd need for it. "Well I'm good; let me know when you two get something."

Buffy smiled grabbing the black leather costume right next to it. "Hey, why don't you dress to match him?"

Willow shook her head vehemently. "Why don't you? You're blond anyway."

Buffy looked at the costume next to her it's a lot like Xander's only different colors. "I'll tell you what you wear that, and Ill wear the leather number."

Willow looked at it; it seemed pretty close to Xander's. "Deal."

Each girl took a costume and caught up to him.

* * *

That night Ethan's spell took hold and Xander was the first to feel it as he fell to one knee as new memories hit him like a sudden rush. He got to his feet and pulled an arrow from the quiver in his back and shot the first demon that came near him in the leg causing the others to flee.

* * *

Xander walked a couple blocks until he turned around and aimed and watched as a leather clad blond dropped down next to him. Xander looked at her wide eyed. Not because it's Buffy. It's not that he's afraid or even surprised anymore. But this last time seemed pretty permanent. He looked at her almost afraid to say the name out loud easily recognizing her through the mask. "Sara"

The… dear god… she's lost count. Well the multiple times revived Sara Lance looked at her ex dressed in a somewhat brighter shade of green with the mask and the Shado's hood still attached. Lighter but still easy to identify who's under it "New suit Ollie?"

Oliver Queen looked himself over. "Yeah, friends in Central City."

The two hugged as a demon rushed them but was quickly shot in the back with an arrow. They turned around and Sara smiled seeing a similar archer get up but more black and red then Oliver's green.

Oliver stepped aside as the black and red archer lowered her veil, grabbed Sara, and kissed her deeply almost like she never wanted to let go just relieved to be with her.

Sara returned the kiss and held onto her if just for a little longer. "Nyssa, we need to figure out what's going on here?"

Nyssa looked at her and turned to Oliver. "Was this part of your deal with Malcolm? You give him the title of Ras Al Ghul in return for Sara's life."

Oliver looked at her. "Right now we need to find out what's going on here."

Sara nodded in agreement. "He's right let's see if we can find a normal person and ask them."

* * *

Cordelia ran in terror Jojo the dog faced boy right on her tail. Until the boy fell to the floor two arrows sticking out of it's back as he stayed unmoving. She took a breath of relief seeing who saved her. "Buffy, Willow, Xander, what's going on? Why are there demons all over?"

Nyssa looked at the girl her face concealed. "What would you know about this?"

Cordelia glared at Willow. "Look Willow, just because you have a bow and arrow now, doesn't make you anything special."

Nyssa glared at her and aimed her bow as Cordy jumped back. "I am Nyssa, heir to the demon, do not patronize me!"

Oliver looked at the girl. "Do you know anything about what's causing this?"

Cordy shook her head. "No, but I might know someone who does."

* * *

Giles took a brief moment going through the books on a very calm and peaceful night out. He watched as the doors opened and Cordelia let three people in he recognizes as the others. "Oh, what are you all doing here?"

Cordelia shook her head. "We got serious problems Giles. These three think they're all assassins or something and demons are running all over Sunnydale."

Giles looked at them. "So they're not Buffy, Xander, and Willow at the moment. Who are they?"

"I am Nyssa, heir to the demon." Nyssa pointed to Sara. "She is Ta-er al-Asfer" She pointed Oliver. "And he is Al Sah Him"

Giles stared at the two. "The Arrow and the Canary, I can understand why."

Sara turned to Oliver a bit repulsed and confused, "You joined the league?"

Oliver looked at her. "Thea was dying probably brain dead left in her body, my life for hers."

Sara looked at him worried. "Do you know Thea killed me?"

"No, Malcolm Merlyn did. Oliver's sister was merely the murder weapon so you'd be too off guard to fight back." Nyssa assured her.

Sara nodded results still the same she's still dead. But at least now she knows it wasn't a close friend that did it.

Oliver turned to her. "I'll explain everything later."

Sara nodded that was enough for her for now.

Cordy turned to Giles. "Well can we get back to figuring this out please it's weird enough as is."

Giles turned to her. "Yes, well, why haven't you changed?"

Cordy looked at him. "Pardon?"

Giles looked at her using his patience for now. "Well, they're all not them, but you're not a cat."

Cordy stopped to let that realization kick in. She's very grateful for that if she was a literal kitty in demon land she probably wouldn't last long. "Yeah lucky me. But I got no idea how that's supposed to help."

All three of their guests roll their eyes and Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them. Giles looked at her and started slowly. "Think Cordelia, what is the difference in a costume you would get, and one Xander would get."

Cordy thought about it. "Actually the dweeb has a pretty good costume, but I know he didn't shop at Partytown he could never afford anything there."

Giles rubbed his head trying to get through this. "Cordelia."

"That's it!"

Giles looked at her confused again. "What's it?"

Cordy smiled. "Xander probably brought his costume from the new store and given Willow and Buffy's people know who he is, they probably came form that store too. It's that cheap new place most people got their costumes there."

Giles head shot up, did Cordy just crack the case. "Do you know where this store is?"

Cordy nodded. "Yeah I can take you guys there right now. Aren't youproud of me?"

"Good, let's go." Giles cut her off.

Cordy glared at him but led them out.

Cordy walked leading the group. "OK, turn right and… demons." Cordy backed behind Giles as the four looked at Spike and an army of mini demons.

Giles looked at Spike and his army of demons they're so close. He turned to Oliver. "Can you maybe fight these guys while I and Cordelia go to this Ethan's; try not to kill anyone but Spike?"

"Who's Spike?" Sara asked.

"Hey!" The blond vampire complained.

Oliver pulled out an arrow. "That's Spike." Oliver fired an arrow into the vampire's shoulder. Sadly all their current arrows have no wood in them. They can keep them busy though.

Giles and Cordelia ran in the other direction as Oliver, Nyssa and Sara fought the demons,

* * *

Sara pulled out two combat batons putting them together to make a staff. She twirled her staff and charged Spike as Oliver fought a small group of demons with his bow alongside Nyssa.

Spike smiled getting into the familiar dance with Buffy. She got him in the gut and it surprised him she's so much weaker. Spike smiled then kneed her in the gut and grabbed the staff and pulling it around her waist. Keeping her arms pinned and put her at biting distance. "Don't fight it luv, it's already over."

Sara just reached in her waist with the little mobility she had she pulled out a little circular device that turned on as all the little demons, and Nyssa hit the floor holding their ears.

The repeated loud noise hit Spike's enhanced senses like a fright train. He holds his ears as he flees blood dripping from them. Another couple arrows courtesy of Oliver in his back as he goes.

Sara grabbed Nyssa and pulled her away as the three moved to catch up with Giles.

* * *

Ethan looked at Giles with a smile seeing his old friend. "The watcher of the slayer, do these kids even know who you are? Or what you're capable of?"

Giles glared at his old friend he knew it as soon as he saw him. "Tell me how to break the spell Ethan."

"Say please." Ethan teased when to the surprise of both men an arrow flew through the store stabbing Ethan in the shoulder.

Ethan shouted in pain as Oliver walked in bow in hand. "You shot me, you rye bastard!"

Oliver looked at him without the slightest bit of care. "And the only thing worse then an arrow going in, is one coming out." Oliver just as quickly ripped the arrow out. "How do you break the spell?"

"Janus, break the statue." Ethan ordered as his eyes practically pleaded to stay away.

Oliver walked over and broke the statue as Xander looked around regaining his focus. He just wanted to dress up as green arrow. When did the emerald archer get so unbelievably scary? And when did Dinah become Sara. Ethan took the moment to his advantage as he pushed the dazed Xander into equally dazed Buffy and Willow. Giles went to help them up while Ethan made his escape.

Buffy got up looking around having her wig knocked off. "Is everyone OK?"

Cordy nodded. "I'm good, I'm OK.."

xander and Giles roll thier eyes and walk away.

Buffy looked at Willow uneasy as the memories go through her head. It's just Sara's, just Sara's. Though her memories did teach her one thing for sure. "I have to go."

* * *

Buffy patrolled the Sunnydale Cemeteries dressed as the Canary. In truth she was looking for someone very particular and smiled seeing him. "Angel"

Angel turned and looked at her. "B- Buffy wow!"

Buffy looked down at herself cleavage window, leather, she loves this outfit. If she could she'd slay in it everyday. "Figured you'd be more into noblewomen?"

Angel shook his head. "I could never stand the women of my time. It was like being surrounded by dozens of really dumb sheep. For years I could barely stand any of them and then I met you."

Buffy looked at the grass. "Had to make this difficult didn't you."

Angel looked at her confused. "Buffy?"

Buffy looked up at Angel getting her focus back. "You hear about tonight?"

Angel nodded. "Went looking for you guys but you never stayed in one place for long. Probably for the best all things considered. What happened anyway?"

"Everyone became their costumes." Buffy replied. "Let's just say Giles won't be strict about my martial arts anymore."

Angel looked at her and saw it in her eyes, "There's something else."

Buffy looked around. "Trying to figure out how to say this. The woman I went as, she nearly drowned twice. I drowned once, and if the looks the people Xander and Willow gave her tells me she was already dead until Halloween. Put it all together and it gives one clear message."

Angel looked at her and realized what it was. "Life is short, but I'm not."

Buffy nodded with a tear in her eye. "I finally get you to go out on a date with me and then this. Seems childish doesn't it."

Angel hugged her. "No, not at all, in fact you'd probably be surprised at how quick it goes. All of the sudden you're two hundred. So… Xander?"

Buffy broke free and looked at him. "I honestly don't know, haven't even thought that far ahead… but why him."

Angel looked at her surprised. "He never told you… figured he would have." Get the attention from her he always wanted.

"Told me what?" Buffy asked.

Angel sighed, he really is surprised he didn't though, if anything just to brag. "Xander was the one that saved your life, all on his own."

"You came after me together." Buffy countered.

Angel nodded his head. "Yes, after Xander stopped over and guilt me into action. He's the reason you're still alive today."

Buffy looked at the vampire. "Well thanks for telling me. Look Spike and Drusilla are still in town."

Angel let out a little smile. "Just because I'm not with you doesn't mean I won't be around. "

Buffy smiled seeing she wouldn't lose a friend. "Thank you." The two friends and champions leave the cemetery. Not happy but enough to keep moving forward with their life and unlife respectfully.

* * *

The next day Buffy walked to school with a bit of a smile. The smile grows wider seeing archery and book reading club sign ups. She smiles seeing only two names and quickly signs up before opening the door and seeing her watcher. "So, archery and book reading club?"

"Well archery was Willow's idea so their skills with a bow wouldn't atrophy. Book reading was Xander's to scare away potential members and the look of hatred once Snyder realized I started a club was just priceless. He has nothing to hold over me now." Giles explained now having a bigger role in the school and getting some school funds to pay for weapons. Most likely long bows at this point.

Buffy smiled and took a seat at the library. "Where are Xander and Willow anyway?"

"Outside I believe." Giles informed her as she just got up and left.

* * *

Buffy walked outside and saw them talking at the fountain. Willow focused on everything Xander was talking about, drawing up plans for bows they can likely use during patrolling. She looks at Xander and contrary to what she made him think she did enjoy the little tease dance. She also enjoyed Sara and Nyssa's kiss. Also she doesn't think Willow will ever give up her pursuit of Xander. What a mess. Wait a minute well, maybe no one will have to cho…

 _Buffy immediately hit the pause button_

 _Xander looked at her upset he was enjoying that. "What'd you do that for?"_

 _Buffy glared at him. "You said it wasn't like the other one."_

" _Have you seen one sex scene?" Xander asked._

 _Buffy stared at him. "No, but I know that look in… my eyes it seems to be the one when I plan a date. And it looked like I was going to ask you guys both."_

 _Willow let out a laugh. "Oh please, the three of us together, I mean god just imagine it."_

 _Buffy let out a laugh. "Yeah right, Angel wouldn't turn evil."_

 _Xander let out a laugh. "Cordelia wouldn't have moved to LA."_

 _Willow laughed. "I'd still like girls... and I'd have Xander probably never meet and lose Tara."_

 _The three laughed for another moment before reality kicked in and an uncomfortable silence reared in._

" _Someone hit the damn skip chapter button." Xander ordered._

* * *

 _Author's Notes_

 _Thanks for the reviews all of them good or bad_

 _Arrow is owned by DC comics_

 _I don't hate Spike, in fact I like him as a character more then Angel. But he's the villain here and when you're telling the same story 31 times usually centered around what if one of the scoobies dressed as X instead of Y. Nine out of ten times that's who they're going to fight._


	12. The Unexpected Volume 4

Max landed on the cold hard pavement after being thrown through the store window. He thought he had a good thing going here. There's so much chaos out here it should have been eat till you puke night on humans. He turned around barely able to do that on one leg. He watched his attacker climb through the window in black pants, a leather duster surrounding him with body armor on underneath the duster a white skull visible in the middle. Even vampires take a while to move after your leg has been blasted off with a shotgun.

Frank Castle climbed out the window he was surprised when he opened his eyes he was no longer on a roof scouting the Koska Brotherhood instead in a mere coffee shop when this vampire went after him. He got away and after a brief stop decided to pay him a visit.

Max looked at his opponent to say he changed in the last hour would be an understatement. "Who are you?"

"Frank Castle, most people know me as the Punisher." Frank replied easily. "Now you want to tell me why you were attacking me vampire?"

The vampire growled at him. "You looked like an easy meal before you changed and ran away. And my boss is going to kill you for what you've done to me. You feculent piece of scum!"

Frank pumped a round into the shotgun. "Who's your boss?"

Max shook his head. "I'm not telling you. He'll kill me."

Frank aimed his gun and fired blowing Max's left hand to chunks as the demon screamed in pain. "I'm gonna kill you, the only question is how long is it going to take?"

Max looked at his blood gushing stump and said. "Wilkins, the mayor"

Frank and Max had a long talk till Frank had all he needed to know and aimed the shotgun right at Max's nose and pulled the trigger blowing his head off and dusting him.

* * *

Frank walked out of the army base with some new supplies for the source of this disease. He drove around the city looking for city hall when to his surprise he saw a schoolgirl with a Kitana fighting a dark haired man with a sword… well more like a slab of iron on a stick considering how big it is coming close to six feet at least. He was set to get up and help the girl but seeing her easily avoid the swings he realizes it's a battle between monsters and leaves them as is.

* * *

In city hall the cabinet of vampires stayed in reading the paper. Sounds like fun out there but they're stuck working for the biggest fan of following tradition you will ever know. They let out a quiet sigh as four ball shaped items are thrown through the windows.

One of them gets up to see what they are.

"What was that?" One of the vampires asked.

The vampire investigating got close enough to see what they are his eyes widen in fear as he runs in the other direction. "They're gren…"

A loud explosion rattled city hall as the remaining vampires gathered up the mayor and headed for the front door.

* * *

The vampires opened the door and were greeted by the Punisher holding a rifle and a stick as they scrmabled into a formation. "I don't know who you are kid. But this isn't worth dying for."

Mayor Wilkins looked around and smelled around unlike his undead companions he realizes the smell of rubbing alcohol better then most because of its disinfectant attributes as he runs to the right.

Frank hits the stick in his hand revealing it's a flare and throws it at the vampires only for the first one to catch it.

"Is that it?" The vampire asked.

Frank just shot him in the chest with the shotgun. Not fatal but the force is enough to knock him down and ignite the ground killing every last one of them as the flare leaves his hand.

* * *

The Mayor ran as fast as his legs could take him. One year to go and this happens. He kept running until he felt a sting in his right leg and fell to the floor from the bullet wound in it.

Castle walked up to the mayor shotgun in hand instead of the rifle. "Murder must be a fun hobby for the higher ups in Sunnydale."

The mayor looked at him. "You'd never understand. What I was going to do. All the good things I would have done."

Frank pointed the gun at his head. "You would have killed hundreds of kids. That's all I need to know."

As the Mayor's head was blown to bits the Punisher shrunk by about a foot. Little Jonathan Levinson looked around in disbelief. He broke into a military base, tortured demons for information and killed the Mayor before he could kill him and everyone he knows on Graduation Day. And the sad part is. No one's ever going to believe this!

* * *

 _Xander paused it at the start of the next chapter. That one didn't take long. "Wow"_

 _Buffy nodded in disbelief. "Jonathan killed the Mayor was that supposed to be the Super John universe."_

 _Willow shook her head. "Nah he would have blown him up. Though it is funny seeing that."_

" _Not as funny as seeing you as a catholic school girl with a katana." Xander countered._

 _Willow glared at him that was more of a Japanese school outfit but the important part is. "That wasn't me… was it?"_

* * *

 _Author's Notes_

 _The Punisher is owned by Marvel and Disney… though I doubt you'll see him in Disney infinity._


	13. OLT

Buffy smiled looking at the noblewoman's dress. Well this is her for tonight. It's so beautiful if she can afford it. She looked over and saw Xander even more depressed then earlier today when she saved him from Larry and holding a bag. "Xander, there's only so many times I can say I'm sorry."

Xander looked at her confused before he caught on. "Oh I'm over that. You just wounded me. Cordelia on the other hand, right for the jugular."

Buffy peaked inside and saw green… "Yikes, well serves you right for calling her an alien hooker in front of her boyfriend."

"You mean the boyfriend that tried to sacrifice her to a giant snake." Xander countered.

Buffy looked at her. "Hey you made the bet. You get no sympathy from me here."

Xander groaned. "It wasn't fair she knows as much as I do on the outside how was I supposed to know she was a brain on the inside."

Buffy let out an evil smile. "So I'll see you tonight… little man."

Xander groaned under breath and muttered as he left. "Yeah, I'll show you little man, you no good slay…"

* * *

Buffy just looked at the costume would wear tonight on display, well if Xander is stuck as that then maybe. "Hey Will, check this out." Unseen to her Harmony took the noblewoman dress. Buffy turned around and saw nothing. "Well then, cheerleader it is."

* * *

That night Ethan's spell took hold. Xander took a breath dealing people laughing at him as he opened his eyes and looked himself over with new eyes. "How did I get back into this get up?"

Xander looked around and saw himself surrounded by an army of demons looks like he's back. He jumped back when to his surprise landed right on the ground. "Uh oh."

Xander quickly took out a golden sword and punched out one of the demons. Another one lunged forward and Xander simply ducked under the attack and hit the demon in his butt with his sword like whipping a horse. "No pain no gain boys!" He stomped his foot twice on the ground and backed up.

One of the demons turned around was slugged right in the face by Buffy, who took a breath of relief seeing one of her friends, even if he is in green tights way too small for him. "Xander, thank god you're OK."

Xander looked at her confused. "Who's Xander?"

Buffy groaned under breath. "You gotta be kidding me, you're Xander."

Xander shook his head. "Am not, is this a game because I'll be happy to play?"

"No it is not a game. " Buffy replied. Looking him over, please be wrong, please be wrong. "What's your name?"

"Peter"

"Oh no!" Buffy shouted. It actually happened to him too. Kids have become thier costumes and now...

The little demons started to get to their feet and saw a little shimmer of light fly down, the light grabbed one of the demons knocking it into the wall. Buffy watched in shock as Xander watched with a knowing smile seeing the little light beat up and knock out all five demons.

The little light transformed into a tiny Willow.

Buffy looked at them oh this isn't good. "So you're Peter…"

Xander held out his hand. "Banning, Peter Pan depending on what world this is."

Buffy looked at him a bit star eyed. "Aren't you a little big to be Peter Pan?"

Peter shook his head. "I'm Peter Pan with two kids let's see how you look at my age."

Buffy held her hand up to stop it. "Alright, you win." She looked over at his tiny companion. "And to think 2 minutes ago I didn't believe in…"

"Don't you dare say it." Willow shouted at her.

Buffy nodded remembering the story/. "Sorry Tink, Hey would either of you two know anything about leprechauns?"

Peter Pan and Tinkerbell shook their heads. Buffy smiled in relief that leaves coincidences and leprechauns. Buffy turned back to the adult Pan. "I thought you flew."

Tink flew above Peter sprinkling him in Fairy dust as he quickly left the ground. Tink did the same for Buffy but, no flight.

Tink looked at her. "What's the matter?"

Buffy shrugged. "Nothing?"

The little pixie glared at her. "Well all you need is one happy thought to fly and you can't even get that."

Peter looked at the blond haired girl. "Haven't seen her smile since we met. Shame too, a beautiful girl like you. I bet you have a smile that can light up a room. Come on, isn't there one thought above any that makes you happy."

Buffy thought on it right now she just wants to help her friends out of this. But if there was one thought above any that would make her happy right now it's Angel as a human the two simply having an afternoon picnic.

* * *

Peter watched with a smile as Buffy left the ground. "See, smile that can light up a room." Peter took her by the hand and the three flew above the sky. Buffy feeling free of her slayer powers and enjoying the wind blowing through her hair. For the first time in a long time she just feels free. But she also remembers the rest of Sunnydale. "Oh that's right… we gotta go to the Sunnydale Library. I have to figure out how to fix this."

Peter looked down but still listened intently. He wants to go back to his family too. "Yeah just give me a minute."

* * *

Cordelia ran from the pirate till she was cornered in a dark alley. The horror cliché, how could she have done that? And what happened to Larry? She backed up nervously when to her surprise Xander flew down and quickly took his sword and made two cuts cutting the pirates' belt as he took his sword and gun and just flew right away again. Cordy watched and let out a laugh as Larry's pants fell to the floor and fled in embarrassment tripping at the corner. Cordy looked at the sky as Xander let out a rooster crow.

* * *

Buffy looked at Peter in disbelief and a smile. "I thought you have no memory of Xander how did you pick out Larry?"

Peter looked at her. "His name is Larry, Larry the pirate, oh I like that who else can we name?"

"You did know that that pirate was Larry didn't you?" Buffy asked.

Peter shook his head. "No, just that it was a pirate. Why?"

Buffy shook her head and changed the subject seeing something else. "Hey can I see your swords."

* * *

Spike looked at the army of little demons in front of him this is just neat. "You hear me my friends, somewhere out there the slayer is using everything she knows to put us in the ground. We find her, we wait till she's nice and tired. And then we have ourselves the tastiest meat you will ever know."

"Spike!"

Spike looked up and barely ducked Larry's cutlass in time as Buffy swung it at his head. Given that she's on the clock she makes another cut around spike's waist in a mere moment and flies away. Breaking the spell is more important then stopping Spike at the moment.

Spike looked at the slayer… flying… well that's new. He turned to the army. "Now we just need to." Much like earlier Spike's pants fell from where Buffy swung then Pan sword. Gotta love those slayer instincts lets you copy moves real easy. The little demons laughed as the vampire desperately pulled his pants up. "Knock it off you little freaks!" Spike saw the angry stares of a dozen angry demons. "OK some, misleading words might have been…: Spike bolted in the other direction the dozen demons giving chase after him.

* * *

Up above Sunnydale High Buffy sat with Tinkerbell. She told Giles about Ethan and he said something about a dark prophecy that might rise from the hellmouth. So she's staying here while Giles checks out Ethan.

Buffy looked at Peter Pan seeing him do figure 8s in mid air. "You do realize at this very moment a demon can rise up to kill us?"

Peter shrugged. "I'll be ready when he comes. Right now I'm just trying to keep up with that jerk."

Buffy looked at him. "What jerk?"

Peter pointed down and Buffy watched as his shadow had a life of it's own flying in circles around hers in mere moments almost flirting with it. The shadow stopped before putting it's thumbs in his ears wiggling his fingers like an animal and sticking his tongue out at Peter as Pan replied. "Oh very funny tough guy."

Buffy and Tink have a laugh as Peter flies down and goes after the shadows for a couple moments fighting the grass. After that the shadow just becomes his shadow again as Buffy flew down.

Xander looked at her. "Buff, are you OK?"

Buffy nodded realizing Xander's back. "I'm fine. Also left with a strong urge to watch Hook."

"Um guys."

Xander looks at a place that would usually get him smacked and Buffy looks at the top of her shirt seeing Willow in her cleavage. Willow didn't change back. "OK growth spell then home, then Hook. I knew Willow would beat me at a lot things never thought second base on a girl would be one of them."

Buffy let out a genuine smile seeing Willow inherited Tinkerbell's strength as the pint sized powerhouse tackled Xander to the floor.

* * *

 _Willow let out a smile pausing it at the next one. "That was cute."_

 _Xander nodded in agreement. "Yes it was."_

 _Buffy leaned back with a genuine smile. "I say we at least show this one to the others."_

 _Willow and Xander nodded in agreement. Not much to say._

* * *

 _Author Notes_

 _Hook is owned by Stephen Spielberg_

 _Thanks for the reviews_

 _._


	14. Creep just Creepy

Xander smiled almost drooling at Ms. Calendar. Willow will give him no end of torment for this. However, it is worth it. The bell rang as an idea entered Xander's head. "So Mrs. C apparently you took a silver bullet for all us punk kids."

Jenny smiled at the teenager at least he is trying to learn while not looking at her dress. She hopes Rupert likes it. She's pretty sure it fits with the date and the hellmouth. "If that's what you call accidentally signing up me and Giles in yours and Buffy's place then yes I took a bullet for you."

Xander nodded. "So where'd you get the costume from?"

"This new place on 3rd, Ethan's." Jenny replied. "He also threw in this." She put up a sharpie.

Xander smiled remembering where Giles is right now and that he's asleep in his office because he was up all night researching Spike. Since he jump started the last ritual Giles was afraid he might not take Halloween off. "Can I borrow that?"

Jenny shrugged not seeing the harm and gave it to the boy, it's a sharpie what's the worst that could happen.

* * *

That night Xander, Willow, and Buffy practically bolted down the streets of Sunnydale in a desperate attempt to find the watcher. Xander was giving kids their earned sugar rush at Buffy's house when one actually turned into a demon and tried to strangle him. Fortuantely Buffy had slayer hearing and put a stop to it.

Xander looked at the scene and fought back the urge to puke. "Um, guys, I found them."

Buffy ran over to Xander with a smile. "Giles you're not gonna belie…" The smile quickly gave way to shock. "Why?"

Willow looked at the two in disgust. "Why is Giles making out with Ms. Calendar's arm?"

Buffy glared at Xander. "I have an idea?"

Xander looked at the girls dumbfounded it's not like he knew this would happen and besides. "Jenny dressed herself and all I did was draw a mustache on his face. I can't be held responsible for what happened and that G-man never looks in a mirror."

Jenny looked at the three watching their watcher practically slobber on her arm. "Darling, we've drawn a crowd."

Giles looked at the group and sadly broke away from his beloved. "Hello youngsters."

Buffy steeped forward and stepped on a pile of dust. "What did I just step in?"

Giles looked at it. "Oh that was a vampire nail or something."

Buffy's eyes widened, "Wait, that was Spike. What the heck happened? And Are you two?"

"Morticia and Gomez Adams." Gomez held his hand out as Xander awkwardly shook it.

Willow looked at the pile of dead demons. "So you want to explain to us how this happened?"

Gomez shrugged. "They might have tried to eat us while we were in the middle of a tango. We weren't paying attention, the death, the demons."

"The pale moon light, made it beautiful." Morticia added.

Buffy looked at it confused. Spike, William the Bloody… a vampire that killed two slayers was done in by a tango. "How!"

Morticia gave a shrug. "My sweet bubolah just spun me to hard. "Isn't that right Mon cher."

"Tish that's French."

The three watched as Gomez quickly rushed back to his wife kissing her deeply.

Buffy watched a group of demons walk up and run away in the other direction. "OK new plan, we go home, we vomit, and we act like this night never happened."

Willow nodded in agreement. That worked for her.

Xander nodded and followed her out. "Ms, Calendar wasn't that cute of a Morticia anyway."

Gomez heard that and to their surprise Buffy and Willow watched as he somehow pulled out a foil. Where did he even get it?

Gomez held the blade to Xander's throats. "You should be cautious of your words young man."

"Taken under consideration." Xander replied.

Morticia let out a smile at the unexpected twist. "Mon cher, you're beaten."

Gomez looked down and saw a wooden stake close to his stomach that would go in if he moved another inch. "Dirty move old man… I like it." Gomezput the foil down and wrapped his arm around Xander's back like a brother now.

To the surprise of everyone Buffy pulled at the back of Morticia's dress. "OK according to this the costume came from Ethan's. I say we go there before me Xander, and Willow have to poke our eyes out with hot pokers to get the images out of our heads."

"We have plenty you can borrow at our house." Morticia offered as Buffy just fought to control her sanity and pushed forward leading the group on.

* * *

The next day Xander walked into school trying to forget the drama of last night. Ethan himself turned out to have cast the spell. Weird thing was his only request they don't break it when he's around and after he left they broke it. He's more curious as to why Giles took off like a jet after him though. He went to the library and ducked as soon as he entered as foil went into the door. Gomez did this three times on the way to Ethan's so he's sadly used to it. Giles threw it above his ehad anyway as he quickly took it off the wall.

Buffy and Willow walk up to the library ready to see if last night is truly done. While Giles and Jenny did return to normal-ish. They seem more Adamsly now. They walk to the door and hear what sounds like… a sword fight? She listens to the conversation through the door.

"You'll have to do better then that if you're patrolling with Buffy."

"This is just a year of G-Man frustration coming out all at once isn't it."

Buffy and Willow look at each other in silent agreement before going in the other direction.

* * *

 _Buffy hit pause as the next chapter started. "I don't know I can't see that one."_

 _Xander looked at her. "Are you kidding me? Except for that time he got turned into a child Giles is Giles. Anymore stiff and he'd be dead. He'd fit right in with the Addams Family."_

* * *

 _Author Notes_

 _Thanks for the reviews_

 _Addams family is owned by Charles Addams_


	15. Family

A/N Spoiler alert you might want to play the first few hours of The Last of Us before reading this.

* * *

Buffy walked into the room with a smile in her noble woman getup. On the bright side Willow's not going as a ghost. Although she was unsuccessful Dawn however got her to go as someone powerful. Willow, Dawn, and Xander are all going as one group thing since Dawn is likely going to follow whatever group Xander goes as.

Buffy opened the door with a smile looking at Xander in a beat up muscle shirt a beard and gray hair dye. "Nice clothes."

"Bite me" Xander replied.

Buffy smiled as the door opened and Dawn came out looking like… Dawn in a pony tail? "And who are you supposed to be?"

"Patient zero" Dawn replied.

Buffy nodded pretending to understand that but it's just Dawn in a ponytail in red shirt with a black shirt underneath and jeans. "And you needed to go to Ethan's why?"

"To help Willow make sure she doesn't chicken out." Dawn replied easily. "Willow come out."

"I'll be right out."

Buffy watched as Willow came out in jeans and a red shirt not really that much here besides a bandana on her head. "These are costumes; you couldn't just use grungy old clothes why?"

Xander held up a toy gun. "Accessories woman"

* * *

That night Xander and Willow got their kids home early knowing what lurks at night. Dawn was in Xander's room as Ethan's spell took hold.

Xander looked around wondering where the heck he is.

"Joel?"

Xander ran up and smiled seeing Dawn in the room. "Ellie are you alright?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah,

Joel turned to a glass breaking sound downstairs. "Ellie, stay put."

Joel walked down slowly pulling his handgun from his pocket at least he has his pack, even if there is no other gun here. "Joel!"

Joel bolted up the steps and saw Ellie reading a playboy. He's honestly surprised they still exist honestly. "Ellie what the hell are you doing?"

Ellie opened up the spread showing the busty Miss April. "How do you think her back supports boobs this big, I mean they're as big as my head. Not to mention that a couple pages are just kind of stuck together."

Joel looked away. "Um"

Ellie let out a smirk. "Joel I'm just screwing with you. You really gotta catch on."

* * *

Joel left once Ellie was secured and went downstairs to see where the hell they are. He walked into the kitchen and saw an impossible dream.

Willow smiled seeing someone familiar after the chaos outside. "Joel" The smile vanished when a gunshot rang through the house and a new bullet hole was right next to her foot. "What are you doing?"

"Show me your shoulder Tess."

Tess looked at her partner wondering what the hell this is. "Joel?"

"Show me your shoulders or I swear on Sarah's grave the next one will go through your head!"

Tess looked at him and showed her right shoulder and when Joel still kept the gun on her she showed the other one. "I don't know how… one minute I'm causing for you and Elle… Ellie did you get her to…"

"Not now." Joel countered. "Right now we just need to figure out where we are and get the hell out of here."

"Joel!" Tess and Joel turned to the voice. Tess quickly following as Joel ran as fast as his legs could take him after Ellie's scream.

Joel ran into a now empty second floor room and saw a demon carrying Ellie to a Billy Idol want to be. "Ellie!"

Spike let out a smile. "You want to see the Niblet again. Tell the slayer to meet me at the docks."

* * *

Angel walked with princess useless next to him and Cordelia not far behind. What the hell happened out there and where are Xander and Willow.

"Sir my legs can not go any further."

Angel rolled his eyes. He will not bite the slayer. He will not bite the slayer. He will not bite the slayer. He will not bite the slayer. "We get there when we get there."

Angel watched as Xander and Willow came running out. He quickly grabbed Willow only to be punched in the face by Xander. He glared at the teenager before throwing Willow at him effectively stopping both of them. "Hey, hey, calm down."

Willow threw a punch that the vampire caught with ease when to his surprise Xander broke a two by four over his back. Angel fell to his knees but quickly got to his feet and wrapped his hand around Willow's neck. "Both of you knock it off or I'll break something."

Joel looked at him. "What do you want?"

Angel looked at the two for a minute before she remembered that Willow and Xander weren't alone according to Buffy last night Dawn would likely go with them. "Where's the little girl that was with you?"

Joel kept a death stare on Angel. "You mean Ellie?"

Angel looked at the two just like Buffy. "Sure, why not."

"She got taken by a demon to a Billy Idol want to be. He says he'll trade her back for a slayer. Problem is we don't know what that is."

Angel looked at the two. Buffy has survived Spike before so naturally the idiot wants a rematch. He looked at the two and decided to cut corners. "I'm the slayer. So where's this exchange happening?"

* * *

Spike smiled seeing two of the slayers friends leading a charge of Angel the slayer and… a girl dressed like a cat… well he's seen weirder things as he let out a laugh with an arm around Dawn's neck. "Well look at you Angelus, truly having gone all white hat on us."

Angel glared at what he believes to be Dru's biggest mistake. "Let Dawn go."

Spike tightened his grip a little. "Yeah that will work, now say please."

Joel looked at the vampire he could have told him that wouldn't work. "Ellie how do we say hello to people who know about you?"

Tess watched as Ellie fished into her pocket. These two seem so much closer since they left her. She almost wonders what happened.

Spike looked at Joel as he went for his gun. "I'll snap the bit's neck before you can even get close."

"I know." Joel assured him.

Angel watched with surprise as Dawn pulled out a switchblade and without hesitation or remorse she opened it and jammed it into Spike's leg before twisting the blade causing the vampire to release her as she pulls it out.

Spike shouted in pain holding his bloody leg the clever dick distracted him with the gun when the real threat was under his nose. Spike reached out his hand to grab her ponytail but was promptly shot in the shoulder by Tess.

Joel ran up and seemingly slapped Spike in the face. Ordinarily not a very good attack against a vampire like him, but when you're holding a brick it lets out a whole world of pain when the vampire held his now bloody face and likely broken nose. Joel threw the brick at his head but Spike was quick to duck under.

Tess and Angel fought the last adult vampire all of the demon kiddies ran as soon as Tess fired a shot.

Spike caught Joel with a punch to the gut and just smacked his head on the car knocking him out. He smiled seeing Buffy look at him her eyes startled as he made a mad dash for her. Ellie ran at him knife ready but he simply grabbed her arm and tossed her to the floor for later.

Ellie quickly got up and ran for Spike when he tackled Buffy to the ground she went to stab him in the back only for the knife to fold into itself on a very confused Dawn Summers.

* * *

Spike looked at the girl and to his surprise he was body slammed into the ground by all ninety pounds of Willow Rosenberg as she continually punched him in the face. Spike threw her off easily only to be shoulder charged by Xander and knocked down again. What is with these kids? Vampires, grrr, that's the rules.

Spike reached over and grabbed a black wig of all things… uh oh.

Buffy looked at him with her blond hair and a smile. "Hi Honey, I'm home."

Buffy unloaded on him with everything she had wiping the disgust of the noblewoman away from her. Sadly since it's her night off she just doesn't have a weapon but Spike does. She knocked him down and Spike realized the difference and chose to run in case Angel was packing.

Xander helped Dawn up and just hugged her making sure she's alright.

Dawn instantly broke the hug nothing like a father figure to kill a crush. "I'm fine."

Xander walked over to Willow and helped her up. "Well alls well that ends well on the hellmouth huh?"

Willow just grabbed him and wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him deeply never feeling so relieved to be herself and fearful as to if she might bring the infection to this world.

Xander stood there dumbstruck looking at her. "Oh, um wow! What brought that on?"

Willow smiled and kept a grin on her face. "Just wanted to do this now, suddenly realizing we're not going to be here forever. Was it that bad?"

Xander looked at her. "What, no I just wasn't… then the dying… and then… aw screw it!" Xander grabbed her and kissed her just as deep as Buffy could only look on with a big bright smile.

* * *

 **Three Months Later**

Buffy came in after a night of patrol with Giles. They failed the werewolf killed Theresa. If you threw in an Angel cameo this would have been the worst night ever. Well at least her mom's out of town so she could use the front door. Buffy and Giles turned right and saw the eleven year old Dawn curled up between Willow and Xander.

Giles looked at her. "Those three seem quite comfortable with each other anymore."

"It's Halloween, ever since then they've been like a warped little family. Although it's a little disheartening to find out your eleven year old sister is better then her slayer big sister with a longbow."

* * *

 _The video was stopped by Xander. "Alright I'm sick of this. The DVD keeps trying to hook me up with Willow."_

 _Buffy took the remote off him. He opened Pandora's Box and she's enjoying it. "Although I do wish the monks would have done something like that for the actual Dawn. They could have made the key a clone of Chuck Norris"_

 _Xander looked at his two friends. "Did anyone else just picture Dawnie with a beard?"_

 _Willow looked at him. "It's a nice little note to the past no fluke. But I'm sure there will another one where you're with Buffy or someone else. Five bucks says next chapter you're not paired with me."_

 _Xander shrugged and sat back. "Deal"_

* * *

 _Author's Notes_

 _Thanks for the reviews_

 _Real life been keeping me busy._

 _Happy Halloween_

 _The Last of Us is owned by Naughty Dog_


	16. The Woman in White

Spike held the side of his head in one hand as blood flowed down into his mouth as he scrambled about in shock. "You sodding Bitch, I'll mutilate you!" What the bloody hell was that! She was weakened! She was supposed to be getting married in costume. It was supposed to be him snacking on not only slayer blood but virgin slayer with a little something that would have made it a one of a kind taste because a situation like this is usually impossible. However the slayers counter attack to free herself. That was low, dirty, disgusting and worst of all since he's immortal he's stuck like this forever. Damn slayer! "You sick freak I'll kill you next time!" He ran out into the city in full out panic the slayer right on his toes with a pregnancy that indicates the kid is just about due.

Buffy turned the corner as the spell broke thanks to Giles and Willow. She immediately reached under her dress and to her relief pulled out a pillow. "Oh thank god!" She walked up to her undead boyfriend. "Are you OK?"

Angel flinched a bit uncomfortable. She looked like she was helpless and in duress… but then she just well… "Buffy, you're…"

"I'm what?" The slayer asked looking a picture of health. "Is there something wrong?"

Xander looked away trying not to lose his lunch, though he might lose this battle. "You're still holding Spike's eye!"

Buffy looked at it as the realization hit and she quickly dropped it. "Oh yeesh, well you're the one who dressed me like this."

Xander glared at her. "As I recall all I said was why don't you marry Angel, give up slaying, and just get knocked up by him." He was in a bad mood when Buffy accidentally humiliated him. "You were the one who dressed up like that Kiddo."

Buffy looked at the eye as she looked away. She would have killed Spike if she could have found a place to stash a stake in this tight dress. It doesn't allow a lot of movement because of its size but at the same time she can't stash a thing in it. Given Sunnydale a bride was probably eaten just before her wedding. "Let's just get these kids home."

* * *

 **18 Months Later**

Buffy sat back listening to Giles and Wesley argue as they fenced. She brought them a newspaper showing the murder of a volcanologist Lester. She believes it's homework for her wayward sister. Given what she looked at when she snuck into Lester's place she has no doubt of it.

Giles paid no attention to Wesley and easily blocked his moves as he replied. "And you think its homework."

Willow nodded looking up his life story. Something worth dying for. "Well poor old Lester dug up something he called it a giant monstrous snake like something the mayor might be turning into."

Giles idly disarmed Wes as the realization hit him. "Of course if it's the demon he's turning into and he's dead it means he's only invulnerable until the ascension."

Willow and Xander turned to the door as it opened showing the Mayor and the rogue slayer right behind him.

Xander groaned not liking these numbers. He thought he would be happy Buffy broke up with Angel after Ford. But a rogue slayer quickly made him miss the vampire with a soul especially when Faith choked him out and left him for dead in that crappy hotel. By the time Buffy found her she had already thrown in with the mayor.

The mayor smiled and took a book off the table reading the contents. "'The beast will walk upon the earth and darkness will follow. The several races of man will be as one in their terror and destruction.' Aw, that's kind of sweet. Different races coming together."

Buffy rolls her eyes. "You never get even a little tired of hearing yourself speak, do you?"

The Mayor just chuckles and turns to Giles. "That's one spunky little girl you've raised. I'm gonna eat her."

Giles grabs a sword from the table and thrusts it through the Mayor's chest. The Mayor staggers back but regains his balance as Buffy and Faith stare off.

The Mayor looks at the sword in his chest. "Whoa! Well now, that was a little thoughtless." He pulls the sword out of his chest and keeps talking. "Violent outbursts like that, in front of the children? You know, Mr. Giles, they look to you to see how to behave."

He goes to give the sword back when Buffy bends his arm in the opposite direction with one hand and hits him in the chest five times with two finger thrusts with her other hand.

Faith rushes forward only for the Mayor to gently grab her around the waist halting her attack now isn't the time. During commencement Faith will launch her attack on Buffy with an army of vampires flanking his Faith helping her to victory.

The mayor looked at Buffy. "See, like teacher like student. I smell fear. That's smart. Some of your deaths will be quick, if that's worth anything. Well, see you all at graduation." He tosses the sword back to Giles and starts leaving Faith right behind him. "You don't want to miss my commencement address. It's going to be one heck of a speech."

* * *

At the ceremony herself Buffy watched with Willow right at her side as the sun came down as a sign of mercy. The mayor was going to do his whole speech and then eat them. What kind of sick weirdo is he? Xander and Giles are ready for plan B but she has faith in hers.

Xander looked at the green hundred foot tall worm looking at the class of 99. Here we go.

The mayor looked to the left and then to the right He looked to the left and right again before turning his head to Faith when to the surprise of everyone he just sort of fell down crushing Faith and Snyder instantly.

Willow looked at the damage and just saw the Mayor lying there, doing nothing with eyes wide open. "Buffy… is he dead?"

Buffy gave a lob sided smile. "Yep"

Xander looked at her confused. How, this isn't fair he was key guy. "But we had a plan explosions and everything." Xander looked at her almost disappointed. "Giles was gonna blow up the school."

Buffy gave a shrug. "I liked my way better. much lesser loss of life." She glared at the vampires whom simply fled in the opposite direction.

Willow looked at the giant demon. How, how is he dead? "And your plan was?"

"The five point palm exploding heart technique" Buffy replied.

Xander looked at her. "But his heart was invincible."

Buffy nodded. "Yeah I was counting on that. Since his heart was invincible it meant it wouldn't blow up once he took five steps. So once he became the monster the heart became a heart again… and then blew up."

Willow looked at her best friend. "Well I guess I should thank you for making her that on Halloween."

Xander shrugged in innocence. "Yeah but when I said pregnant bride. I didn't expect her to be Beatrix Kiddo." The three friends departed after a very disappointing graduation.

* * *

Xander just held up a five for best friend as Willow gleefully took it. "OK, Next one. Just to see if Snyder gets smooshed again that was priceless"

* * *

Author notes

Thanks for the reviews

The Bride and Kill Bill was created by Quentin Tarantino

Real life got in the way

I had to stop a story where Giles became Gandalf and Willow became Tauriel couldn't make it work. At the end Willow would have paid Xander $5 to his frustration.


	17. The Darkness

Xander stood in Ethan's looking for the costume. He was pretty sure he could have taken that eight year old for the last toy gun. Not that he would have because it was a scummy thing to do, but he could have. Xander looked around and this isn't right… he's seen everything about the movies he's never seen a costume like this. The suit looks too dark to be what it is. But if Buffy is going as lady useless it falls on him to be an ultimate badass.

* * *

Buffy opened the door to see Xander with his gray shirt and black pants. Gray sleeves not attached to the shirt and two metal sticks at his side and belts throughout the costume. "I still have no idea who you're supposed to be."

Xander glared at her. "Really?" His mood instantly lightened. "That's good because I don't either. Kudos for pulling off Spandex though."

Buffy let out a smile heading towards the steps. "Thanks, but wait till you see…" She sees Willow come down in her boo leaving the slayer disappointed. Well, there's always next year "Casper"

* * *

That night Ethan's spell took hold. Xander looked around panicked as demons started running the streets of Sunnydale. Xander blinked as the new presence looked around Sunnydale and saw a dozen demons coming towards him in different directions to corner him off. He looked around and simply stretched his hands out as all the demons went soaring in opposite directions some right through the walls of houses.

Xander quietly looked around and just started walking.

"Hey, wait?"

Xander turned around and saw Willow walking towards him.

"Will you slow down a second?" Willow ordered.

Xander just kept walking she's a distraction nothing more. "I don't recall ghosts being so lively with color or dressing like... that."

Willow awkwardly covered up her midriff. "I'm not a ghost. I'm just Willow and you're Xander."

Xander shook his head. "That is not my name."

Willow's eyes shot out seeing a demon free itself from the debris of the house and chase after Xander. "Look out!"

Xander quickly shot his hand out as the demon grabbed his neck and gasped for breath as he fell to the floor. "I was never in any danger."

"Oh" Willow replied weakly trying to figure out what this is. Her eyes could widen in surprise when Xander closed his fist and the demon's neck snapped like a twig as he fell down dead. "Oh no, Xander that was a little kid in there."

Xander shook his head. "No it wasn't."

"How do you know?" Willow asked.

"I know." Xander assured her as an almost second instinct took over and he looked down the block and sent two demons into a tree with a wave of his hand saving a queen type person from their attack.

Willow looked at the damsel in distress and saw it was Buffy. "OK, how did you know to save her out of everyone?"

Xander looked at his own hands. He knows he's not in his real body; he's dead but this unnatural. "I don't know. Get the girl there's a disturbance I'm going to go see what is the cause of it."

Willow got Buffy to her feet and just said. "No, emphatically not, I mean I don't even…"

"My name is Galen."

Willow looked at him and how did he know she was going to say that. "OK Buffy?"

Buffy looked at her. "Who's Buffy?"

Willow rolled her eyes she should have seen that one coming. She swallowed her pride to say came out of her mouth next. "You're Buffy, now we have to follow that guy or the monsters are gonna get us can you move?"

Buffy rose to her feet and quickly followed after Galen. Willow watched and just quietly muttered. "She couldn't have dressed up as Xena."

* * *

Galen walked till he was a couple blocks from Ethan's the girls right behind him. Galen walked as Spike came out flanked by an army of demons. He senses absolutely nothing in him but he's not a ghost. "Just keep walking dead man."

Spike smiled at him taking a moment to look the kid over. This is who's opposing him. "Tough talk from someone whom Angelus tried to use as a snack. What makes you think we'd listen to you?"

Xander looked over and saw a burning barrel next to a dead bum. "Easy" With a wave of his hand the barrel tips over pouring fire out into the street. "I control the fire!" He stuck his hand out as electricity crackled through his fingers striking Spike and knocked the vampire to floor as Buffy tried to tighten a non existent grip on Willow. "I control the lightning! Who would be foolish enough to stand against me?"

Spike immediately changed to his game face seeing the mini demons run in fear. This is why you need actual demons for the job. He grabbed a pipe and stood ready for a fight. "Let's see how you fight without parlor tricks."

Galen looked at him with a disgusted sigh as he holds his hands out as a metal stick floats into his hand from his belt. Galen pushes a button on it as. 'Thwww' The pipe let out a sound a similar to ignition revealing a blade of blue light.

Willow looked at it as everything came together. How he knew the things like she was a ghost, the lightning, the telekinesis should have been a dead give away. "Well, this explains everything, my very own Jedi knight."

Spike looked at the pipe the all good solution doesn't seem like much now. "OK, now we both might have said things…" He swung the pipe only for the apprentice to cut it in half. "Does me being a vampire even scare you?"

"Trained by the worst of the worst." Galen pointed out as he lunged for the vampire's head. He can't sense anything from the dead thing so better safe then sorry.

Spike backed up nervous but defiant. "Just do it if you can."

Galen swung only for blue plastic to strike the vampire's neck. Xander looked at his 'lightsaber'. "Uh oh"

Spike smiled and delivered a knee to the gut and a punch to his face knocking the teen down. "Still waiting for you to…" His monologue is stopped by a black wig hitting the floor. "Uh oh"

Buffy yanked Spike off and in a loud scream between rage and obscenities pounded on him with everything she had. Sadly since it was her one night off she didn't have anything to send him to that dusty place in the sky which will be rectified next year. Eventually Spike got her off of him and fled. "Well sometimes it's just good to be me."

Xander watched as he left not being able to do much to stop him now. "Speak yourself Buff. So do we go get the guy that did this or do we get the kids?"

Buffy looked at him. "Well the spell's broken but as Spike showed there can still be real demons out there surrounded by helpless little kids."

Xander nodded. "Kids first." Unseen to them Giles walks out of the costume shop and into Cordelia's car."

* * *

That night Xander came home around midnight. Thank god Darth Vader kept a secret apprentice around but why did he have to scare all the kids into the wind it took hours to find them all although he was surprised by how fast he could find them once they were close. He headed up the steps long day going to bed.

"Why were you out so late boy?"

Xander turned around to see his burly drunk Father. Not that he needed an excuse but holiday, extra drinking. "Couple kids ran off had to find them."

Tony Harris looked at his son a can in hand. "And that gave you the right to barge in at midnight."

Xander waved his hand. "You don't want to yell at me."

"I don't want to yell at you." Tony said.

Xander looked at him holy crap that worked. "You want to sit down all night and rethink your life."

"I want to sit down all night and rethink my life." Tony repeated heading for the couch.

Xander smiled heading up the rest of the steps but quickly ran back down. "And you don't want to drink at least tonight."

Tony idly dropped the can letting it fall wherever. "And I'm gonna stop drinking."

Xander smiled. OK it's real. Now he just needs to figure out a viable solution to a certain crystal and he's in business. Life on the hellmouth is about to get very interesting.

* * *

 _Xander hit the TV. "No don't you dare freeze on me now."_

 _Buffy pulled him back. "Give it up it's doing that skip thing."_

 _Xander pouted sitting back down. "Me as a Jedi wish I could see more of the story."_

 _Willow looked at him. "Well maybe you will someday."_

* * *

Author's Notes

The Force unleashed… I have no idea if EA owns it Disney owns it or someone else does but I know I don't.


	18. And the Light

Author's Notes: Spoilers from the biggest money making domestic picture of all time.

* * *

Willow looked around the store in a nervous rush. Time is running out and she's in trouble. "There's gotta be something here."

Buffy looked at her friend in a smiled. "Something wrong Will?"

Willow looked over the section. "I'm trying to dress as a Star wars Character." Buffy reached for a blaster. "That isn't Leia."

Buffy nodded. "Okay you can be… that bounty hunter."

"That was Leia in a mask." Willow replied.

Buffy frowned and looked at the supplies. "Well this is hard. So what Xander has a Star Wars thing?"

Willow shook her head. "All the ghost costumes are gone."

Buffy nodded in crystal clear understanding. Willow wanted to hide but thankfully little kids beat her to her goal. "Sounds horrible, so why don't you just make your own?"

* * *

Xander smiled walking towards the door. Who would have thought it would be a good thing to oversleep. He wonders what Buffy and Willow look like since they got dragged down by Snyder. He knocked and smiled seeing Buffy open the door in a princessy get up. "Lady Buff, nice to meet you."

Buffy smiled with a curtsy. "Thank you kind sir. But wait till you see Willow."

"Don't tell me." Xander mock guessed. "She's a ghost."

Buffy shook her head. Though she's still covered up. "Not exactly. Willow come down here."

"I'm coming." Willow replied walking towards the steps.

Xander watched as she came down the steps she looks like something out of Star wars he thinks. "Are you supposed to be a sand person Will? I have no idea what this is."

"No, just a girl from Star Wars?" Willow replied.

Xander looked at her confused she's dressed like a sandperson with the staff but she also has a lightsaber. "Why didn't you just go as Leia?"

Willow glared at him. "Five girls not Leia."

Xander looked at her. Challenge accepted. "OK, Um, Rancor's meal, Lady about the people dying for the second death Star plans… that's all I got."

Willow let out a smile knowing she's won this round. "That's what I thought."

* * *

Later that night the spell took hold as Willow looked around before briefly falling to her knees. Willow looked up and saw a group of mini aliens run. She watched to her surprise to see a full grown man bullying a mini alien pushing it down to the floor as a blond haired girl got to her feet and ran. Rey ran up and quickly used her staff to sweep the leg of the attacker as his head smacked the pavement.

Xander looked to see a wide array of colors what the hell happened? All he did was pull a mini demon off some poor girl that got her costume from Party Town. He watches the colors die down and back into normal colors as he sees his attacker through the blur and as it ends up… it's Willow. "Will, what the hell?"

Willow shoved the end of her staff at his chest. "My name is Rey, Not Will and why are you attacking those children? Just because they're not human doesn't make it right."

Xander looked at her as his head sunk back. Everyone became thier costumes and he's the last sane man. "Oh right, Star Wars. Wi…Rey those children aren't children well they are sort of children but… right now they are demons and very dangerous. If I hadn't thrown that kid off the lady the demon would have killed her. And the kid would have had the memory of killing her."

Rey looked around and could see his point and feel it in a way. "Do you know what's causing this?"

Xander shook his head. "No, but I have a pretty good idea about where to go to find out." Rey let him up and the two walked for the library.

* * *

Rey walked with the teen escorting him through Sunnydale until they got to a place called Sunnydale High School. She followed Xander into a library from the looks of it and sees an older man talking to a black haired man and a woman dressed like a Queen.

Xander walked right in and cut off the conversation. "G-man we have a problem."

"Everyone's become their costumes." Giles filled in.

"No it's worse than… yeah that." Xander finished. "It happened to Buffy too I take it?"

Angel nodded. "Yeah I found her being chased by demons… why would she wear something so stupid?"

Xander turned to Rey disappointed and upset. "Can I borrow your lightsaber?"

"No" The girl replied.

Angel looked at Willow for the first time and sees everything. "Her too huh?"

"Yep" Xander replied. "So, G-man any ideas."

"Yes, stop calling me that." Giles ordered. "Where did the girls get their costumes?"

Xander was thinking back to an earlier conversation with Buffy trying to convince him to join them. "Some new place called Ethan's."

Giles looked at them with raised eyes it couldn't be. "Where is this store?"

Xander looked at the watcher curious but gave the address.

Giles quickly grabbed some weapons. "All of you stay right here."

Xander shrugged and turned to Rey as Giles left. "Do you have a deck of cards?"

* * *

Spike walked into the library flanked by a group of demons. He watched the once strong slayer hide behind Angel clinging desperately to the back of his suit to protect her from the demon. "Well look at you, scared, terrified, defenseless… I love it."

Rey looked around getting a genuine bad feeling in her gut. But it's not like she hasn't dealt with this sort of thing back home. "Angel" She threw the vampire her staff and took out her blaster. "Xander…"

Xander looked at it. "Um, thanks but I can take care of myself."

"I know." Rey assured him. "It's why I'm giving it to you."

Xander took the blaster wondering what she's going to fight with. "Thanks but what are you going to u…" Xander was cutoff by Rey pulling out a metal stick that changed into a blue lightsaber. The Sunnydale teen raised an eye in concern. He knows that sword all too well. "Um, look out for your hand when you use that thing."

Rey gave a weak nod showing she understood. She fears this thing and for good reason considering it practically shouts at her sometimes. "Well aware."

Angel started the fight cracking Spike in the head with the staff as Xander kneecapped a demon.

Xander let out a childish smile living out a boyhood dream. "And tonight I'm Han Solo." A demon pushed him into the wall as the two struggled for control of the gun.

Rey quickly cut through the horns of the mini demon as it ran in fear. She can feel it and what she's feeling disturbs her. They're not natural, No one is in her confusion. The only person that seems complete is Xander. She slices off another demon's horns as it runs in fear and focuses on the fight between the two human looking demons as the fight between Spike and Angel has degraded to the point that they are both in game face.

Spike smiled finally knocking Angel down and getting the upper hand and pulling out a stake. The plague of Europe to slayer's lap dog. This is a kindness at this point. "So, whatcha gonna do now gramps?"

Angel watched as blue light cut through Spike's neck as his head fell off and his body dusted. He watched as the confident Rey became the nervous Willow. Xander looked at the scene awkwardly realizing he just speared an eight year old at best into the bookcase.

Xander looked at the scene dumbfounded. "I didn't mean to do that."

Willow gave him a slight bit of a smile. "We know, just bad time to end the spell."

Buffy took her wig off and looked at Spike's ashes. "Speak for yourself. Glad that's over." She turned to Angel. "You mind helping me get my half of the kids home while Willow and Xander get theirs."

Angel shook his head as he quietly gathered up the kids with Buffy while Xander gathered up the rest cussing under breath about needing a real day off.

* * *

Willow walked with Xander a small smile realizing that outside of Spike she enjoyed going as something different then a ghost. Even if she might have one or two things left over.

Xander walked Willow to her door exhausted, home, bed soon after. He needs 4,000 winks after tonight. "OK, well, good night Will."

Willow watched him go into the night and no, not this time, life's too short. "Where are you going?"

"Home, that nice place that has my bed" Xander replied.

Willow looked at him in disbelief. She got more looks as Rey. "You don't want to go home."

"I don't want to go home." Xander replied.

Willow waved her hand again. "You want to kiss me…"

* * *

 _Xander instantly hit pause."What the hell Will?"  
_

 _Willow just grabbed the remote and hit the play button. She has an addictive personality, she's done it to Tara she's not surprised. "Not my proudest moment and definitely something I would do at the time. Moving on"_

* * *

Xander walked over and held her ins his arms as he kissed her deeply. Once he did the effect wore off and he nearly pushed her over the railing getting her down. "Did you just mind trick me?"

Willow sighed seeing it wore off not her proudest moment but she had to do something. "Yes"

Xander looked at her almost slack jawed. "Will, how could you?"

Willow glared at him with newfound inner strength. "How can I not, you go with every girl you can except me, including Cordelia and demons. It drives me nuts I had to try something."

Xander sighed as he lowered his head in almost shame. "Will, I don't think of you that way."

Willow looked at him almost staring a hole right through him. "Wow, what a load of hooey."

"It's the truth Will." Xander insisted.

Willow pointed and poked him in the chest with her finger. She's force sensitive she can feel it. "No it's not. You nearly kissed me last month. Right before Buffy came back. So you've obviously thought about it."

Xander looked at her. "It's different with you."

"Why cause me girl parts just like the rest of the girls." Willow replied demanding an answer cutting down another of his objections. "Cause I'll ask Buffy out of town and get some ice cream."

Xander shook his head. He liked it better when he was toying with his mind. "No it's just…"

"What!" Willow shouted.

Xander had enough as a proverbial fuse broke in his mind as it came out in a shout. "I can't lose you alright!"

Willow looked at him curiously. "You can't lose me? How lame is that?"

Xander glared at her but it quickly died out to a shout of. "I can't lose you!" He let out an empty sigh as he calmed down. "You're my best friend Will… I need you, Will. I mean, how am I gonna pass trig, you know?" He chuckled. "And who am I gonna call every night... and talk about everything we did all day? You're my best friend. You've always..." He looks at her for a long moment, looks away for an instant and then at her again, struggling with his emotions. "I love you. I don't want to lose you."

Willow looked at him for a moment and just hugged him. "Even if we fail, we'll always be friends. And we both know I can take you especially now."

Xander just kept his arms wrapped around her never wanting to let go. For the first time he has no idea what's going on in his life. He threatened to kill the woman he 'loved'. He helped save Cordelia Chase… twice. And he's pretty sure his best friend just became his girlfriend. That's highschool things change… right?

* * *

 _Xander paused the video. "They hooked me up with Willow again."_

 _Willow looked at the tape surprised, heartfelt and pissed all at the same time. "It was you?"_

" _What?" Xander asked._

 _Willow ran over to her friend and playfully hit him. "I thought that was Oz saying that you jerk."_

 _Buffy just hit skip chapter scooby jedi was done already anyway. "Let's just watch the next one."_

* * *

 _Author Notes_

 _No guessing for when I started this one or why I wrote this even after I did one on Star Wars already_

 _The Force Awakens is owned by Disney_


	19. In a Bottle

Xander let out an empty sigh knowing he's in trouble. Well he can't afford a costume the fatigues don't work without a gun and not a penny to his name. To be fair all Snyder can do is keep him after school and he does that anyway at the library. So why is he nervous of the troll again? Xander let out a simple breath he wonders what Buffy picked. He knocked and waited anxiously. If Snyder asks he's homicidal maniac. Ask Wednesday Addams they look just like everyone else.

* * *

Buffy opened the door to see Xander at the other side as he cracked into a smile and immediately started laughing. "Shut up!"

Xander looked at her losing all control as he laughs like a fool looking at her. "What, what is this?"

Buffy glared at him. He does remember all the things she can do to him doesn't he? She doesn't know who dies first him or Giles. "Full slayer kick"

Xander looked at her but kept laughing. "That won't work as a threat Buff, not tonight."

"Depends where I kick" Buffy countered.

Xander immediately stopped laughing and got a straight face looking at the pink Harem clothes that expose Buffy's midriff. "Why are you wearing that?"

Buffy glared at him. "Giles' punishment for the snake thing he insists it's slayer training to be able to patrol in anything despite the fact its vamps night off."

Xander looked at her. "Yeah this was probably Gman's version of Pam Anderson."

* * *

Willow came down the stairs just in time to see Xander grab the last part of Buffy's costume and bolt for daylight Buffy giving chase immediately after.

"Come here Mr. Sensitive."

"Is that any way to treat your master?"

"No, this is!"

Willow let out a smile not knowing what's going on but hearing Xander go. "Ow, my eye, you know you pull off the look. I renounce Spandex."

"Thank you" Buffy replied.

Xander held up the trinket. "I'm keeping this."

* * *

Later that night Xander watched his kids as they walked from door to door using his advice to help themselves. They continued until they stopped at one house as the kids in little demon costumes became literal little demons.

Xander's eyes widened as they came for him. This can't be good. The little demons came after him as Xander backed up and hit a tree. This is bad.

Xander watched as a pink puff of smoke came down and materialized into Buffy. Buffy's eyes widened seeing them coming and quickly put her arms to her side and tilted her head as all the mini demons froze in their tracks. "Buffy, please tell me you didn't just freeze everything?"

Buffy looked at him with an almost childish smile. "Who's Buffy master?"

Xander closed his eyes in frustration if there was ever a time they needed the slayer. "Who are you?" Please don't say what he thinks she will.

Buffy turned to him in a smile. "I'm Jeannie master"

Xander shook his head. "No, no, no, no, I set you free, I set you free right now."

Jeannie shook her head. "Well thank you master but I choose to stay."

"No, freedom and other stuff. I wish Willow was here I could use some help right about now." Xander complained.

Jeannie did a familiar strut as Willow suddenly appeared in front of her. Xander looked at her stunned. "Did you just bring her here?"

Jeannie nodded. "I am a genie master, you said I wish."

Xander looked at her as his anger faded to a mass of confusion. "OK, I did, so thank you."

Willow looked at Buffy. "So if I'm a ghost then oh my god is Buffy really…."

Xander nodded. "Yeah, Buffy is Jeannie now."

Willow looked at her. "Oh, well, can I have my body back? Kind of a ghost at the moment."

"Willow!"

Willow gave an innocent shrug. "What? I mean if we're going to have an all powerful genie we might as well put her to use. So can I?"

"No" Jeannie replied easily enough. "You are not my master."

Xander just palmed the front of his head, man he really hopes Buffy doesn't remember this when this is over. "OK, I wish Willow was right here and back in her own body."

Jeannie and Willow felt the wind and saw the boo. She quickly threw it off and spiked it into the ground.

Xander looked at the get up for the first time tonight. What the? "Will, what are you wearing?"

Willow looked herself over and saw the sexy outfit Buffy picked out for her. "You don't like it?"

Xander looked at her anyone else but Willow, now... "There's not a right way to answer that is there?"

Two things happened in rapid succession an upset Genie conjured a bucket of ice water over his head and Willow threw her boo at him. Xander got soaked but at least he had a blanket to stay warm.

Willow turned to leave. Not even looking Xander in the eyes. "Let's just go to the library and find Giles."

Jeannie glared at the boy as Willow practically stormed ahead. "That wasn't very kind master."

Xander frowned. "I know, probably not the best reaction, but Willow has always been like a sister to me. As a matter of fact me and Buffy covered this a couple weeks ago. Hey! I wish the spell was broken."

Jeannie did her trick but nothing. "Sorry master, something's blocking me."

"What can block a genie?" Xander asked.

Jeannie let out a smile that almost hypnotized the boy. "Oh there are lots of things master. Other genies, powerful witches, and gods even. Whatever did this is likely just stronger then me. I'd place money on Janus."

Xander smiled until a full on Dracula impersonator tackled the girl to the floor and bit her in the neck. Willow ran over and the two pulled him off Buffy. Xander threw him aside and shouted. "I wish he was trapped in a forcefield."

Jeannie held her neck but sure enough conjured the forcefield. Xander turned around and saw Cordelia running from a monkey demon as Xander let out a sigh continuing. "Jeannie"

"Another force field?"

"Another force field"

Willow walked over to Cordelia. "I'll take care of Cordy you take care of her."

Xander looked around for something for first aid until he realized his own stupidity. "I wish your neck was healed and that I had a wash cloth."

Jeannie smiled as her wound disappeared. "Thank you master, only one other master ever used a wish for me."

Xander smiled wiping the blood from her neck. "Oh yeah, what happened to him?"

Jeannie frowned for the first time tonight as her eyes might have started to water up if Xander was paying attention. "He died a few years ago… I miss him."

Xander just hugged the girl knowing what it's like to lose someone close it's a Sunnydale standard. "I'm sorry he must have been a good man."

"Best I know." Jeannie replied looking at the rag. "Although I am surprised I could not get that monster off me."

Xander thought it through and quickly realized without skill she'd still have slayer strength unless… uh oh. He quickly put his hand up. "Jeannie, punch my hand."

Jeannie did as told as Xander's hand didn't move. "Sorry master. With the exception of my sister I never had a reason to throw a punch."

Xander frowned. "It's alright. But if the monsters find out you're like this they'll come after you in a heartbeat. So I kind of need you to get in the bottle until we get to the library."

Jeannie looked at her sometimes home sometimes prison. "Can you at least leave the top off?"

"Absolutely." Xander replied holding it out. "Now in the bottle."

Jeannie crossed her arms and glared at him as she turned into a puff of smoke that disappeared into the bottle as the three teens walked to the library.

* * *

Xander turned to Cordelia. The cheerleader said they should let the genie out of the bottle "Why would I let her out of this if she can get hurt like anyone else?"

Cordelia looked inside the bottle to see Jeannie resting peacefully in what looks like a bedroom. "Because genius what happens if the spell breaks and she's still three quarters of an inch tall. I don't imagine it being a good reputation for the slayer to be shorter then mighty mouse."

Willow looked at the brunette beauty almost jaw dropped. Maybe she's just upset about what Xander said earlier or not wanting him to see Buffy in her midriff exposed Arabian getup as Jeannie that clouded her judgement. "This might be the craziness of the spell talking but some of that made sense."

Xander looked at the bottle and realized besides unlimited cosmic powers beats a wii little Buffy slayer. "Alright Jeannie, you can come out."

The pink smoke left the bottle and quickly changed into the beautiful woman. "Oh thank you master."

* * *

Xander walked into the library followed by Willow but no sign of Giles or anyone else for that matter.

Cordelia picked up a jacket left hastily on a chair and declared. "Hey, Angel was here."

Xander looked at her confused. "How do you know?"

Cordy held up the jacket. "This is what he was wearing last night. I think we made a connection."

Xander rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure he saw your neck and it was love at first sight."

Cordy glared at him how many people does Buffy have in on this? "Oh right because Angel's a big scary vampire. I just don't think Buffy can handle the competition."

Xander rolled his eyes. "And I'm thinking when god made you he misread brain space as br…"

"Master there's a real vampire here." Jeannie announced cutting Xander off.

The three teens turned around and saw Spike flanked by an army of mini demons. Spike took in the sight of Jeannie and the scent of the slayer. As weak as a normal human just like Dru said. "The tastiest meat out there can't help herself and dressed like that… I love it."

Willow looked at the vampire. How are they going to stop him without Angel and Buffy? And to think her biggest concern was so… "Xander, I wish Spike was in an open field in Japan."

"Why?" Xander asked.

"Just do it!" Willow ordered.

Spike lunged at Jeannie as Xander shouted. "You heard the lady!"

Jeannie quickly granted the wish with a smile as Spike instantly vanished.

Xander turned to Willow. Clever way of getting rid of Spike but… "So he's going to kill us when he gets back to America."

"He's not coming back." Willow assured him as they left the library she's assuming Giles and Angel were here to figure out what's happening but have since went to stop the spell.

Xander, Jeannie, and Cordy followed her out. Her former crush looked at her confused. "How do you know that?"

Willow let out an innocent smile, where would he ever be without her? "Because Xander, while it's almost 7:00 at night here it's nearly noon in Japan and we sent him to an open field."

Xander looked at her as it kicked in and he just laughed. "So let me get this straight. You just slayed Spike with social studies homework?"

"See what happens when you study." Willow replied. Watching Jeannie with Xander she knows he'll never see her like that now. She just wishes someone would. She rolls her eyes as someone crashed their van into a tree and keeps walking. Stupid Halloween spell. "Why don't you and Jeannie go ahead. I'll take car of whoever was in there."

* * *

Xander looked at Jeannie but stayed close in case Willow needed help. "You know you seem a lot more happy over the course of the night."

Jeannie let out a smile. "It's because I have a new master at the moment. And I haven't had such a kind and caring master since…" Jeannie got closer to Xander and was set to kiss him until she pulled away and her eyes got colder. "Now I know you remember the Hyena… you tell anyone, take a picture, no genie will be able to fix what I do to you?"

Xander's face went pale… this close but in a way he's relieved Buffy's back. "I'll miss Jeannie, but it's good to have you back Buff."

Buffy nodded knowing why Xander chose to repress it now so she'll keep it a secret. Especially after what she did to him with Larry. "Good to be back. Though I'm gonna kill Giles for dressing me up like this."

Xander looked at her. "Can't it wait till tomorrow?

"Like he did anything important tonight." Buffy countered.

* * *

 **Twenty months later**

Xander leaned back in the car with a sigh. As soon as he starts the car he's leaving Sunnydale behind for the summer not soon enough. As it ends up he could think of Willow as more then a sister. He did it at the worst possible time but he did think of her as more then a sister. Now Cordy's dumped him and if Willow choosing Oz didn't permanently fracture the friendship. Him screwing the rogue slayer Faith definitely did. Also on top of it he was proven right as Angel damn near ate Buffy to save his own sorry ass. She can put his teeth to her neck all she wants but it's on him to suck. After a final year of hell he just needs a season away.

He hopped in his uncle Rory's car and went for the sunglasses in the glove box. He opens the door and reaches in when to his surprise he pulls out an old Arabian lamp… isn't this… oh no!

A pink puff of smoke hits the passenger seat and turned into this time the actual Jeannie with longer blond hair and more developed. Xander focuses his eyes on her face. Last person you want to be caught peeking at is likely a genie.

Jeannie smiled looking at him. "Hello Master…"

Xander shot back nearly falling out the open window in a panic. "Holy crap! The show… years ago… it's real!"

Jeannie let out a smile. "Mostly his career was never that interesting. And we were much more careful."

Xander looked at her. He didn't expect it would be real but his main concern. "Jeannie, what are you doing here?"

Jeannie pointed at him. "Because silly, you're my new master. At least I want you to be."

Xander nodded nervously. "Well, thank you b-but why now and not right after Halloween?"

Jeannie looked at him. "Because I made a promise to my last master that my next master would be eighteen and out of high school."

Xander let out a sigh not sure how to do this. He almost kissed her. The last woman was pushed off the deep end and knocked into a vegetative state and the one before that got impaled while he was cheating on her. "Jeannie, I don't know if I'd be a good…"

Jeannie frowned looking at him trying not to let her eyes tear up. "Please master. Major Healy wants me to move on and the only fun I've had in the last five years was with you. Major Healy is afraid I'm going to fade away if I don't do anything new and adventurous. Honestly if it wasn't for Major Healy I might have the day I lost Tony."

Xander looked at her. "You mean you just disappear? That's it?"

Jeannie nodded. "When I'm sad, broken and depressed yes."

Xander let out a sigh. "OK, so where do you want to go?" The car instantly went in reverse out of the spot and onto the road heading out of Sunnydale. "Hey at least let me drive."

* * *

 _Willow hit pause with a smile on her face she enjoyed that as the next one started. "OK that was a good one?"_

 _Buffy got to her feet having a good laugh from that. "I'm getting some snacks. You guys want anything Will… Master."_

 _Xander glared at her. "Ha ha"_

* * *

Author Notes

I dream of Jeannie is owned by Sony… I think


	20. Prank Gone Wrong

Cordelia let out a simple little evil smile who would have thought that trip to that discount Halloween store would have been good for something. Xander called her an easy nymphomaniac while she was making the moves on Angel last night. She waited by the boy's locker room ready to pounce.

Buffy walked up to the scene curious. She sees Cordy waiting and fights the urge to rip her hair out for last night. "What are you doing here? This desperate for a date you have to stand in front of the boys' locker room."

Cordy smiled. "I'm waiting for the scream."

Buffy looked at her. "What scream?"

Cordy smiled seeing the door open but to a very disappointing sight. Xander came out with a smile. "What, do you not have a mirror in there?"

Buffy looked at him. He's gonna hit the roof when he sees what she's done. "Seriously Xander, you might want to get a mirror."

Xander looked at them blankly before looking in Cordy's mirror and seeing the big change. "Yeah, I know, I actually like it so thanks for this Cordy, might use peroxide or more permanent dye next time."

Cordy glared at him and just silently went into the girls' locker room.

Buffy just kept quiet she's guessing he can't freak out after what she did to Larry. Cowardice is bad enough she'd hate to imagine what a whiny coward would get.

Xander smiled as she left and saw Buffy going to leave. He just gently grabbed her arm. "Just wait a couple minutes you're gonna miss the best part."

Buffy looked at him curious. "What part?" Xander and Cordy have been closer since Darryl and him saving her even if they're oblivious to it right now. Are they? Oh no!

"The part when Cordy realizes I put my hand over my mouth called Willow over from the window and had her swap the dye with Cordy's custom conditioner." Xander explained.

Buffy stood by for ten minutes until something like a banshee scream echoed through Sunnydale high as Xander left Cordy in a hurry as the cheerleader moved in a hurry gathering her clothes.

Cordy stuck her head out as blond as Buffy was. "Where is he? I'm gonna kill him! This crap lasts for three days nothing will wash it out in time to work with my costume."

Buffy gave an honest shrug and a somewhat smile. Cordy started it and maybe she was a bit happy about it after last night. However if waht she thinks is going to happen happens all she can think is poor Willow.

* * *

Xander walked out getting the last bits of his costume. He a soldier Willow a ghost, Buffy… fluffy little sissy girl. He looked himself over and ever the ready soldier even with the blond hair. Xander looked closer and decided to try something losing the jacket for just the green wife beater and to pull an Angel. He looked himself over in the mirror and smiled. He won't be a generic soldier after all. He happily threw his rifle aside. "Don't need it. Thanks Cordy" Xander stopped realizing what he said.

* * *

Xander smiled seeing his kids for the night. "Alright, line up, now unloading extra candy, tears are key, tears will usually get you the double bagger, you can try the old you missed me routine but it's risky, only go there for chocolate understood?" The children nod. "Move out."

Xander saw Cordelia talking with her own bunch of kids. She sees the now blond haired cheerleader in a brown trench coat a choker with a cross on it and twin pigtails. "Wait, you got dragged into this too?"

Cordy glared with a look that screamed you will suffer until your final breath. "When someone tricked me into dying my hair I stayed a half hour longer to try to get rid of it and Snyder caught me on the way out. Speaking of which."

Xander turned to see what Cordy's eyes were following seeing Snyder leave the students for the next two hours. Once the door was closed Cordy quickly lost the trench coat showing a dark green leather two piece exposing her midriff and a cutoff top. How the hell did she get this past her parents let alone Snyder? "Wow!"

Cordy glared at him. He's been looking at her a lot this year. Must be working on new material. "Your kids dumbass"

"Right" Xander ran and quickly caught up to his group leading them out.

* * *

That night Ethan's spell took hold as Willow was looking at her own body and immediately ran trying to find Xander and Buffy. She found Xander swarmed by three demons and ran right up to him. "Oh boy I hope you have a gun."

Xander watched the demon and just let out an empty hah from his mouth. "Lady, I am the weapon."

Xander immediately caught one demon with a roundhouse kick knocking it out cold and hitting the other one with an uppercut before grabbing the last one by the hair and throwing it at the car that took him out.

Willow looked at Xander and how did he become so slayerish for Xander. All he did was spike his hair up what happened? "Xander, how did you do that?"

The soldier looked at her just as confused as this floozie was. "I don't know who Xander is, but it's not me. It's rough out here ma'am. You should probably head back inside."

Willow shook her head. "I can't do that, and you are Xander, I'm Willow and… there's a giant demon coming for you from behind."

Xander turned around and saw a seven foot demon coming for them. He stretched out his arms as each gained a yellow glow. Willow watched with interest wondering what was coming next.

"Sonic Boom" Xander crossed his arms and the yellow glow two projectiles chasing each other in a circle until it hit the demon in the face knocking it out cold.

Willow looked at him. "OK, definitely not Xander anymore so, who are you?"

"Colonel William Guile US Air force"

Willow let out a weak little nod. "Yeah OK, look we gotta find… Buffy"

To Guile's surprise Willow ran right through him to a woman in red.

Buffy's eyes rose seeing the four demons coming at her.

Willow saw the demons and wondered. "Buffy what do we do?"

The slayer promptly fainted.

Guile stood hands close to his face ready to fight until a tiny piece of metal dropped from a tree and wrapped itself around a demon's neck.

Willow watched as a blond in green leather hopped down the tree as a demon was sent up gasping for breath as it choked almost to death until the woman let go and the demon fell to the floor unconscious. She quickly grabbed the next one and threw it head first into the tree. She saw the two running for the civilians and ran after them leaping into the air while turning herself into a human corkscrew as she sailed through the air driving her feet into one demon's back knocking it down but leaving the last one free to go after the others.

Guile watched as the monster hopped on the car for Buffy. He quickly jumped into the air into a back flip and caught him with a somersault kick to the chin knocking the demon out cold.

Guile looked at the choice of clothes on her. "Interesting choice of clothes" She usually dresses in much less.

The blond girl looked herself over. "Yeah I kind of woke up in these. Don't really know where they came from sir." She glanced over at the two women. They're not exactly in the Colonel's group it's usually warriors like her and Chun Li. "So, who are the civilians?"

Guile turned to the two. "The redhead is Willow and I'm assuming the other one is Buffy."

The woman nodded and held out a hand as Buffy whimpered behind Willow and the redhead pouted."Cammy White"

Willow looked at Buffy disappointed she couldn't have dressed up as Xena. She turned to Cammy and looked at the hand before she realized. "Sorry, I can't shake your hand, incorporeal at the moment and she's too scared to."

"I'm sometimes a slave to psychotic madman. We all have issues." The British woman offered.

Guile looked at the three. "Ghost is there a safe place to go?"

Willow pointed backwards. "Umm Buffy's house is that way."

Willow watched Guile Buffy right behind him clinging to his arm. She turned to Cammy. "He doesn't like us very much does he?"

"Would you like anyone on a night like this?" Cammy asked.

"Probably not." Willow answered seeing how angry the man was. "But that guy probably doesn't even like his own family."

Cammy shook her head. "No, he loves his family… maybe not his brother in law… but he loves everyone else."

* * *

Guile walked into the house followed by Buffy. He didn't pay anyone any attention while he headed upstairs and Cammy just rolled her eyes realizing something is bothering him, great. Cammy watched as a dark haired man ran into the house. She went over to him and was stopped by Willow whom assured her the guy was this Buffy's boyfriend.

"It's just Angel." Willow assured him.

Cammy looked at the vampire. "The ghost will fill you in I have to talk to Guile.

* * *

Cammy gently knocked on the door. "Sir?"

Guile turned around seeing his old friend. "Is something wrong?"

Cammy shook her head. "No, I just you seem kind of distracted down there."

Guile looked at her wondering if British woman is messing with him. "Something bothering you Cammy?"

"Just you sir. You're off your game and given the situation, it couldn't come at a worse time." Cammy replied.

Guile looked at her. "What do you remember about the Psycho Drive?"

Cammy thought back on those days in disgust. She can't believe what Bison did or what she and the other dolls did in his name. "Very little I was more concerned about getting the other dolls out."

Guile kept his focus on the window. "I lost a friend in there."

"Charlie?" Cammy asked.

Guile nodded. "At least I thought I did, there are reports that he's alive but he's different."

Cammy looked at her friend in the eyes. She always knew Guile had regrets about Charlie. He would have beat Bison to death for it but his family stopped him. "If he's out there we'll find him."

Guile let out a smile as Willow ran right through the door frantic and rambled. "Guys we got trouble Buffy Angel, vampire grr… we gotta find her."

Guile looked at the redhead in complete befuddlement. "What was that? I didn't understand any of it."

Willow rolled her eyes and slowed it down for them. "Buffy saw Angel change into his grr face. She got scared and she ran outside. Angel ran after her but I gotta stop this, can you guys find her?"

Guile looked at the redhead concerned. "What if they go after you?"

Willow shrugged. "Hope they do I have no butt to kick." She ran out the door. "Good luck."

Guile ran down the streets Cammy right behind him. Before long they catch up to Angel. "Where's the girl?"

Angel smelled it as the familiarity of fear hit him and he pointed to the right. "She went that way."

* * *

Guile lead on and saw a Pirate pinning Buffy to the wall. Guile didn't say a word he just got behind the pirate and German suplexed him into the dumpster. Why does he feel so happy? It feels like he just beat up Bison.

"Sir"

Guile turned to face Cammy. "What?"

Cammy pointed behind him. "Billy Idol and five others sir"

Guile rolled his eyes in an uninterested lull seeing them coming from behind Cammy. "We don't want trouble; we're just here for the girl."

Spike looked at the bloke with the poofy blond hair. "Well you can't have the girl. We're taking her."

"Walk away." Guile warned.

Spike walked right up to him with a smile what does the whelp think he's going to do to him? "And if I don't." Guile didn't wait and just spun right behind him getting his arms around his waist. "Oy, what the hell are you doing!"

Angel smiled in almost bliss seeing Guile just threw Spike into the air with a release German suplex as the blond vampire bounced off the hood of the car and smacked the pavement. Angel and Cammy ran forward to fight the others.

Spike got to his knees and decided to lay low for Guile to repeat the process with another German suplex. Spike looked at the ground and he's pretty sure that suplex busted his head open. Spike got up in a mad dash to get through him.

"Sonic Boom!"

Spike eyes widened only to be hit by the fireball and knocked on his ass on the grassy front lawn. "Alright that's it." Spike got up and jumped into the air with a bit of vampire strength only to be knocked back down by Guile with the same summersault kick used on a demon from earlier. "OK, this is a load of crap I can't hit him."

Spike smiled seeing Guile loose a step as he became Xander. Spike walked towards him until he felt someone wrap a garrote around his throat as Cordy squeezed back on the now plastic cross. Spike turned to his side and looked at the cheerleader. "OK even if you choke me, you're not gonna do anything with plastic."

"It's called a decoy." Cordy got out through strained breath,

"Decoy" Spike turned right to a stake wielding Buffy who drove it into his heart with a satisfied smile. "Bugger"

Buffy smiled one perk of tonight is getting rid of Spike.

* * *

Xander looked around and once again he has full memory. Oh well, being Guile beat the crap out of the hyena. He walked over to Cordy letting Buffy and Angel have a moment alone. "Cordy, are you OK?"

Cordelia nodded her head. What a screwed up life this woman had. "Yeah I'm fine. Last time I let you anywhere near my hair."

Xander nodded knowing he had a hand in this one. "Yeah sorry about that." He held up his hand. "Want to punch something?"

Cordy smiled and pulled back knowing how to throw a real punch and slugged Xander in the face. "Yes."

Xander fell to his knees and held his nose in his hands. "Were you even aiming for my hand?"

"Nope"

Xander looked at her and all around saw they were in a front yard lawn. He simply kicked the back of her leg as she fell onto the grass. Cordy quickly sprung up with a kip up and tackled Xander back to the floor. Xander easily flipped her off of him as the two struggled for control. Cordy swept low taking Xander's legs out from under him. She smiled as she straddled him. "Got ya loser."

Xander looked at her. He's not exactly complaining where he landed and especially where she did. He smiled and palmed the side of her face as the two looked at each other unsure how to act, or how to get free if she really has all of Cammy's memories. "Tramp"

"Loser"

"I hate you."

"I hate you!"

The two stared at each other for a moment before they broke into a lustful needful kiss.

The two people that watched them had almost completely different reactions altogether. Buffy pouted seeing them so close together. She knows she probably lost any chance she had with Xander last year not that she would have, But to see him with Cordelia like this. Poor Willow.

Angel kept a stoic impression on the outside but on the inside his thoughts were doing a gleeful dance and a victory lap. Xander with any luck had finally found someone who he might be able to be happy with if they both grow up just a little. Also with her around she might keep the Deadboy cracks to a minimum.

Buffy cleared her throat and the two broke apart realizing what they were doing and even more importantly with whom. What the hell was that? Buffy looked at them if they're anything like her and Angel she better talk to Willow sooner then later.

* * *

Buffy hit the pause button at the start of the chapter. "Well at least it was Cordy that time."

Willow gave a shrug those feelings for Xander long since dead. "Yeah imagine if sixteen year old me found this. Scary thought, just the things I would do to Xander... starting with Aquaman"

Xander gave a small nod remembering his fallen friend who he really should have treated better, might have stopped Jasmine. "Let's just skip to the next one Will."

Buffy nodded instantly and hit play.

* * *

Author Notes

Thanks for the reviews

Street Fighter is owned by Capcom

As for Cordy's costume it's still Cammy from the games just the costume itself is just the Street Fighter II V version because as much as I appreciate the picture. No way could she have gotten it past everyone.


	21. World of Chaos

Cordy sighed and looked around the costume shop. The delinquent that burned down party town will pay dearly for this. And to top off the fun thanks to Snyder's sexism only girls are in costumes tonight. Xander too but as she said only girls are in costume tonight. She looks at Harris and sees he's waiting patiently for Buffy and Willow.

Cordy looked over at him. "Hey dweeb how do I look?"

Xander's eyes widened and he can only hope he's not drooling at the moment. "Wow, I mean, wow." He just kept staring at the black leather get up. Midriff showing no cover for her arms in a black leather top and black leather pants and boots.

Cordelia nudged him with a giant toy rifle. "Knock it off pal I'll have you know I'm in special agent gear."

"Of what vice?" Xander asked.

Cordelia glared at him and went low with the end of the toy rifle another four guns attached to her side as he grunted in pain causing Ethan to tighten up a bit in sympathetic pain.

* * *

Willow let out a small glare at the two ever since Kevin's death she's been getting closer to the scooby gang, and ever since he saved her life she's been getting closer to him. "They seem happy."

Buffy looked at the two and decided to hold up the white boo to emphasize her point. "You can dress like that Will, you don't need to hide."

"Not hiding just… fleeing." Willow replied weakly.

Buffy leaned back. "Just saying we could dress you up in something similar and you'd probably look just as good if not better." Buffy smiled holding up a costume for her. "Hey, how about this one beautiful and dangerous. Come on Will, carpe diem."

Willow looked at it and smiled seeing it was a losing fight to go against Buffy. "OK but none of that metal on the face part like the picture. It gives me bad memories of Moloch."

"Fair enough." Buffy replied grabbing the costume. No one has happy memories of Moloch.

* * *

Willow looked at the costume uneasy but had a black haired little girl tugging on her leg that couldn't have been more then five. "Is something wrong?"

"You forgot the most important thing." The girl said with a smile.

Willow looked at her confused. "I did?"

The little girl nodded and grabbed a yellow sword that could collapse into itself as little knife in a little sheath. "Yeah, I know you're undercover but you need this."

Willow nodded gratefully taking the toy sword. "Thank you very much."

* * *

Buffy looked around the store and now had a trick problem Angel not one for Halloween and with Willow being brave she wanted to lay low. She looked around and saw a silver watch with no numbers from the cheap bin. She just grabbed it and went for the cashier.

Xander looked around the store and saw nothing that really worked for him.

Buffy paid for the watch thing and walked up to him. She looked at him curious. "So what are you wearing?"

Xander shook his head. "Nothing here got no money for anything big and flashy."

Buffy looked around and spotted something interesting as she held up a toy for a buck from her watch bin. "Do what I'm doing go incognito as my partner in crime, well you know what I mean."

Xander shrugged seeing a toy stick. Why not? It's just a black shirt and jeans. Still would have preferred red though as he grabbed the little toy stick.

* * *

Xander walked up to the door in a simple black muscle beater and jeans. He knocked on the door and smiled seeing Buffy open the door in a pink shirt and jean shorts. Xander looked at her with a smile. "You look good."

Buffy smiled in her little get up and seeing him dressed very similar and very cheaply. "So what do you think? Five bucks between us?"

Xander nodded. "That seems about right."

Buffy smiled and shouted. "But wait till you see this. Willow come down here."

"Don't laugh!" The redhead replied last year.

Xander let out a sigh. "Scout's honors get down here."

Willow came down with her long red hair and a metal spear a black leather bodysuit covering slightly more or less then Cordelia in areas along with a metal top and a spear.

Xander looked at her in shock. "Wow!"

Buffy smiled and clipped her arm around him. "Come on partner."

Willow smiled at the compliment but quickly followed them out the door.

* * *

Ethan smiled with all the costumes he had sold. He would have preferred more heroes but too many heroes, and no conflict, too little heroes no courage and most important of all no chaos.

* * *

Willow looked around as Ethan's spell took hold on the world. She glanced a quick look at the mirror and saw how she was dressed and the mini demons all set to go in other directions. She slammed the hilt of her spear on the ground and glared at the mini demons. "Behave yourselves and get in line!"

The mini demons quickly lined up single file and followed behind Willow.

* * *

Buffy looked around as the spell took hold as she looked around and saw three Stormtroopers bullying a little kid dressed as Princess Leia. "Hey what are you...!"

"Rebel sympathizer, blast her!"

Buffy's eyes widened in fear as the Stormtroopers shot at her but thankfully Stormtroopers being Stormtroopers missed her. Buffy backed up as she put Leia behind her, this seems familiar.

To the surprise of all three people a man in a black shirt and jeans jumped on the Stormtroopers knocking all three of them over.

Buffy smiled looking at an old friend as Xander ordered. "Go, get out of here!"

The Stormtroopers got to their feet as Xander did and held his hand out as a staff of black and gold appeared in his hand a red ball on top. He quickly grabbed the staff by the bottom and cracked a Stormtrooper in the head with it knocking him out cold. Xander quickly kneed the next one in the gut following it with a kick to the side and ending with a roundhouse kick before jumping in the air and hitting him with a spin kick knocking him out.

The last Stormtrooper glared at the boy. "OK hand to hand."

Xander watched as he pulled out a four edged baton that came to life charged with electricity as he let out a quiet groan in disbelief. "Why aren't you Stormtroopers puny like the movies?"

Xander used his staff to deflect the swing of the stormtrooper's baton as the trooper stumbled aside and Xander acted fast as his wrists glowed gold covering his hands. Xander moved his arms in a bunch of different directions until he was set to bring them together only for the Stormtrooper to swing his stun baton straight down forcing Xander to back away as the energy left his wrists as the teen shouted. "Damn it!"

The stormtrooper kept swinging left to right and up to down. Xander keeping up with each block just as the stormtrooper does for his own strikes. The Stormtrooper brought the baton straight down as Xander held the staff up blocking the attack from splitting his skull. He gets no free time it's like the guy knows what he is.

The stormtrooper looked at him angrily. "Do you think you can beat me?"

"Yes" Xander answered bluntly. "But since I don't have the time I'm going to cheat."

Xander smiled as the staff opened at the top and a bunch of red energy balls shot out and hit the stormtrooper head on knocking him down.

Xander caught his breath with a smile that was not easy but easier then other things.

The last stormtrooper got to his feet only to see a red covered hand punch through his chest.

Xander backed up as the trooper's body hit the floor only to see a full suited man that looked to be a lawyer with a blood soaked arm. "And you are?"

The lawyer let out a jovial smile. "I'm Marcus Hamilton. I represent Wolfram and Hart. May I ask your name?"

"Jason Scott."

Marcus held out his hand for a handshake and Jason just backed away from the bloody mitt. "Sorry, should have used the clean hand."

Jason looked the devil in the eyes with how little he cared for life. "What do you want?"

Marcus took a couple steps back. "What I want is to impress the senior partners with a certain glowing girl."

Jason thought it through and shook his head. "Couple zombies no vampire, sorry no glowing girl though."

Hamilton looked at him for a moment. "Well it depends. You see I see a glowing while you… well, all you'd see is a girl in a princess Leia costume. So who was the girl in the pink shirt that got her away?"

Jason just kept his calm. "Beats me. I kind of have this side where I just protect innocent people. Best of luck though pal."

Hamilton nodded in understanding and the two had different reactions. Jason got his arms glowing gold and tried to bring them together throwing but Hamilton landed a punch as Jason soared through the air and crashed on a car denting it around him. Jason tried to get up but was punched in the face three more times keeping him down. Each shot felt like he was getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer. He could have sworn bones rattled at the third one. Hamilton looked at the boy cuts on his face two black eyes one even swelled shut. "No one would jump into a situation like that unless you were protecting something. Since it's clearly not who I'm after that leaves the girl with her, who is she?"

Jason shook his head and spat at him with a blood stained spit from his mouth as the blood smeared on his face and suit.

Hamilton growled as he lifted him up and off his feet with one hand on his throat. "You sure you don't want to tell me?"

Jason shook his head in defiance. "No, I'm good."

Hamilton wound his hand back as a shot went off at their feet knocking them both down from the explosive shot.

Hamilton got to this feet and saw a girl in black leather on the second floor of a hotel. The girl jumped down from the second floor and kept her gun aimed at him. "That was a stun shot. Want to guess what it's set on now. You're under arrest."

Hamilton looked at the girl curious about the gun but seeing she's a leather clad war machine he's not that curious since he could be dead before he gets close. He looks at Jason on his knees and has his hands on the floor trying to pull himself back up. Hamilton let out one swift kick to the side Jason is sent through the air and fell on top of the woman as Hamilton took the moment to flee. He has a much more interesting girl he's after anyway.

* * *

Giles took a moment from cataloging to just enjoy the quiet of a day off. Until the library door opened of course why should he have a day off? He looked at small man with blond hair enter in black pants white work shirt and yellowish brown jacket. "Who are you and how can I help you?"

"My name is John Constantine and you can help me by breaking this spell. Preferably before that tarty woman shows up again."

Giles looked at the man in well, confusion would be an understatement. "I beg your pardon?"

"Tarty woman" Constantine quickly repeated as Harmony Kendall walked into the library in a cat suit she snagged last year that still fit.

Giles looked at the blond woman in shock. "Dear god you mean she thinks like a literal feline."

The cat looked at him confused. "What's a feline?"

Giles looked at Constantine who merely shrugged and replied. "Pain in the ass and a tart"

Harmony looked at him. "Hey if Cordy's dating someone in a band it only seemed fair."

Giles held his head. Who would thought a day would come when he missed Xander riling him. He turned to the young man. "Why do you believe I'm behind this again?"

Constantine looked at him with a broad sword hidden taken from a demon. "People are becoming their costumes, I can feel Chaos magic on you, and it seemed familiar to you so I thought it was you."

Giles quietly walked right past Constantine the little Brit keeps it up and he'll meet Ripper. He went into the trashcan and pulled out a receipt for Buffy's watch thing that somehow constituted a costume. He should have been paying attention he would have seen it coming a mile away. "Right"

Constantine watched him set to leave. "So do you remember casting the spell now?"

"I didn't cast this spell." Giles assured him. "I'm just going after who did."

Constantine quickly followed him out. Harmony giving chase not long after.

* * *

Hamilton pursued through the streets knowing what a huge boon acquiring the key will be. She sees a redhead clad in metal and black leather leading a swarm of demons. He let out an entertained smile seeing as only he knew a human lead an army of demons. If the demons knew they'd be all over her.

Hamilton smiled looking at the redhead. "Well look at you leading your own army of demons. That's interesting."

"They fear power." Willow replied and went to push forward only for Hamilton to grab her wrist. "Hey!"

Hamilton shook his head. "No, you misunderstood me. They follow you because you carry yourself like a master of evil. But I don't sense any evil in you at all. Quite the opposite really."

Willow swung the spear but Hamilton catches it. "There's a reason no one likes lawyers." She reaches into her side and Hamilton ignores it as it's only as big as a dagger.

Hamilton's eyes widen in surprise as the dagger becomes a sword that lets cut his arm freeing himself as he bellows in pain from the cut. He reaches for the hair to pull her back but only gets a red wig as a now blond haired Willow runs for the hills. The demons try to run after her but Hamilton stops them. "No! We've got business elsewhere. Now if you gentlemen play nice. I'll introduce you to the real power of this world."

* * *

Jason opened his eyes as he feels a lot better. The bruises are gone. He can see out of his left eye again. He felt blood on his face but it's closed all the wounds. "What happened?"

The woman in the black leather looked at him. "I healed you with a crystal ball."

Jason looked at her for a moment. The lawyer must have hit him harder then he thought. "Say that again."

"And the past it is." The woman in black leather replied as she held out her hand. "Jen Scotts."

"Jason Scott" He replied taking her hand as Jen helped pull him up.

Jen looked at him. "So lawyers are a lot more violent then I remember. Any idea why that is?"

Jason gets to his feet. "That wasn't a lawyer that was a monster." His eyes widen as he realizes it's a monster after a good friend. "Thank you for the help but I gotta go."

Jen looked at him and held out a blaster. "Well if it's a monster I'm going to help you. Besides all you have is a stick."

"It's a staff." Jason countered but never the less took the blaster as another leather clad blond ran out and nearly crashed into him. Jason looked at the blond. He thinks he might have saw her in the command center archives. "You look familiar have we met?"

Willow looked at him uneasy remembering him from that day. He'll never know her minions had him beat up and kidnapped till her brother killed his mentor. "No, I just have one of those faces. I'm Karone." She held out her hand and Jason shook her hand.

Jason looked at her. "Well I gotta go, lawyer after my friend."

Karone looked at the two. "You mean the blond with the girl dressed like Princess Leia?"

Jason nodded. "That would be her."

Karone pointed behind her. "They're that way."

Jason glared at her. "And you just let them?"

Karone matched his glare. That's not who she is anymore. "They were being pursued by a child of the senior partners. I tried to call him off but he called my bluff. I was looking for my friends but I can't find them here and I'm all alone. Going up against a child of the senior partners on your own is signing your own death wish."

Jason looked at her much like her he's only found one of his friends too. He's guessing there are five of them if that thing on her wrist is any indication. "Then we make do with the three we have with us."

"Four" Jen quickly corrected.

Karone nodded having a feeling they all have something in common. She'd prefer a team of five but four would do.

* * *

The three quickly followed Karone back going for Hamilton.

Leia stopped to catch her breath and saw the girl in pink heading in the other direction. "Where are you going?"

Buffy looked at her. "We didn't get away by chance. A friend of mine ran interference. I can't leave him behind."

Leia looked behind her and saw the lawyer. "I don't think we have the time to look."

Buffy looked at Hamilton and quickly pushed Leia behind her.

* * *

Harmony opened the door for Ethan's as Giles and Constantine entered behind her. The blond looked around and saw it. "Hey what's with the creepy statue?"

Constantine rolled his eyes upset. "Swell its Janus."

"The bad girl from that Secret Agent movie?" Harmony asked.

Constantine quietly looked at her. "The light bulb in your head just broke when you were a baby huh?"

Giles looked to the blond girl. "It's about balance, good and evil yin and yang."

Constantine shook his head and decided for the more practical. "Peanut Butter, Jelly"

"Oh those are totally good together. What else?" Harmony asked.

"Chunky and creamy" A new voice said as a new Englishman entered the room.

Giles glared at the older Englishman. "The two of you get out of here. I'll handle him."

Constantine looked at the older he has a feeling but not his concern at the moment. "Right, come on lady."

* * *

Buffy backed up and stood arms at her side in fighting stance. "What do you want?"

"I want the girl. If you want to die like your friend that's on you." Hamilton replied.

Buffy looked at Leia ready to start blasting like she would in the movies. "Come and take her from me."

Hamilton advanced with a group of demons only to be sent back in a flurry of laser blasts even knocking them off their feet.

Buffy turned to Leia genuinely impressed. She looked at the little princess impressed. "How did you do that?"

"I didn't." Leia replied and pointed behind the lawyer. "They did."

Buffy smiled seeing Jason with two other females each with blasters in their hands. "What took you so long?"

Jason, Jen and Karone immediately ran to them as Hamilton and the demons pulled themselves to their feet.

Jason rolled his eyes he got mauled by a lawyer what is she upset about? "Sorry Kat, kind of got held up."

Hamilton looked over and saw the man in black now surrounded by three women in pink. Well his work just got a bit harder.

Jason shook his head knowing what will happen when he gets up. "Guys, do it now."

Kat nodded as She and Jason shouted an all too familiar chant for them as two devices appeared on Cat's wrists and the golden energy emerged in Jason's arms. "IT"S MORPHIN TIME!"

"Zeo ranger one pink!"

"Gold ranger power!"

Karone smiled and simply hit the device on her wrist. "Go Galactic"

Jen quickly crossed her arms before switching out and pushing a button on her wrist. "Time for Time force"

* * *

Hamilton looked at the group dumbfounded. The girls were in different shades of pink. Jen was in a pink and white suit with a pink helmet with a bit of black and a pink visor. Karone was in white and pink but her helmet looked like a bird to him. Kat was in pink and white with a skirt and and a black oval for a helmet. Jason was in a black with with a golden shield and white gloves a six shaped symbol for a visor. Why would teenagers dress like them? "Interesting you're all in spandex now, but I'm on a deadline."

Kat jumped in the air and went for a dive kick that connected square with the lawyer's gut as she landed. To the surprise of all four rangers especially Kat, Hamilton soared backwards as the demons cleared a path in a frantic rush and Hamilton went about twenty feet through a concrete wall and into a house.

Jason turned to his fellow ranger he knows these powers are stronger then the originals but that was insane. "Kat, what was that?"

Kat gave an honest shrug. "I don't know."

"No, seriously what was that?" Jason asked. "He tore me apart and you annihilated with one little kick."

The three rangers looked as a pink bolt for lack of a better word struck the ground keeping the demons at bay.

Jen looked at the two legendary rangers and ordered them. "Maybe we can wait till later for the interrogation?"

Jason nodded. "Yeah that's a plan." Where does she keep pulling these guns out of?

* * *

Giles glared at the man he once considered a friend. "I should have known. This whole thing stinks of Ethan Rayne."

Ethan looked at his old friend. "Hello Ripper, do you really think it's that telegraphed?"

"It's dangerous and it harms the innocent," Giles replied.

Ethan smiled. "And we all know Rupert Giles is the protector of the innocent quite façade you have going old man. The tweed clad guardian of the slayer,"

Giles glared at him with a stoic unflinching face. "It's not a facade Ethan. How do I break the spell?"

"Say pleas…" Before Ethan could answer he was hit with a resounding right hand by Giles knocking him down.

* * *

Karone ran up the wall and landed in a back flip to the floor and grabbed the Queasar saber as it expanded to a full sword. She cut two demons knocking them down. A third rushed her only to be knocked down by a laser blast. Karone smiled at Leia who gave a quiet nod as she ran for the next demon.

Jen shot the two going for her and watched as a large swarm of six came after her only to be knocked aside by a blur of black energy revealed to be Jason when it came to a stop.

Kat kicked one at the leg to knock it down back first only to send it into a 1080 flip sending him spinning twice and crashing down headfirst. What is going on with her powers?

* * *

Giles looked at his old friend as coughed up blood as he wiped his hands in a cloth. "How do we break the spell Ethan?"

"It's a complicated spell… it has to be done in a tutu." Ethan replied. Giles kicked his old friend in the ribs and Ethan finally complied. "Janus spill your blood on the statue."

Giles quickly grabbed a knife from the table and sliced his palm and applied the blood to the statue. The results weren't as expected as a white light quickly rushed through the store and seemingly enveloped the entire city for a moment. "Ethan what have you done?"

Ethan got his hands up and chanted. "Vincere" A blur of energy wrapped around Giles and hoisted him two feet in the air and trapped him there for the time being. "My blood was only enough to partially complete the spell. I needed another chaos mage to finish it." Ethan got up with a smile as he walked for the door. "Welcome to a land of heroes and villains in constant conflict. Welcome the world of chaos old friend." With that he simply left.

* * *

The light hit Constantine and Harmony as the person inside Constantine was set free with everything the hellraiser knows and can do. Daniel Osborne felt the air and looked around as he can only sum up tonight. "Huh"

* * *

The light flashed on the power rangers. Xander looked around as the demons now humans trapped in the demonic bodies fled. Xander looked at his hand and white gloves. "Uh oh, power down."

"Power down" All the Sunnydale teens looked at each other in shock until Cordy finally asked the question they've all asked. "So, that really happened didn't it?"

Willow nodded as she grabbed for her hair. She finally got enough to see a patch of red. "Oh thank god I'm a red head again."

"Hey!" Buffy objected.

Willow looked at her weakly. "But it looks good on you."

Cordy shook her head she's pretty sure Buffy roots are more brunette anyway. She looked away and saw nothing… where's the princess. "Guys, Leia's gone."

Buffy's eyes widened in fear. "Dawn! Where are you? You are gonna be in so much trouble if you're hiding."

Xander ran over to the house with the wall smashed apart Cordy close by and smacked the wall in frustration. "Guys the lawyer from hell is gone too. I think he took her."

Cordy gently took his hand seeing him in pain. And she's blaming Jen's cop nature for this. "We'll get her back."

"How?" Xander asked, "He hits like an 18 wheeler."

"Angel" Buffy answered. He has the bloodho…undnose…. And…. H… e can….

* * *

 _Xander paused it in frustration. He finally found one where they lose Halloween and that happens. "So not fair!"_

 _Buffy took the remote and hit skip chapter. Her as a power ranger not happening. "Can we just agree Tuesday and move on."_

 _Willow smiled. "Tuesday"_

 _Xander frowned given how well their lives went even with a good Halloween he'll agree. "Tuesday"_

* * *

Author's notes

Thanks for the reviews

I was gonna post Doomsday Xander and Glory's story for Halloween this year but life tends to throw a barrage of hell at me every September-March anymore so I don't think I am now. It will just write it when I write it.

Power Rangers are owned by Saban

Constantine is owned by DC

Star Wars is owned by Disney


	22. Rogue Tale

Xander and Cordelia looked at each other. Part in sheer misery, part what the hell happened. It started with Cordy in a bad mood as she sniped at Willow. To their surprise some little guy tried to get between the two, According to Cordy he's a band mate of Devon's. Then Xander started sniping at Cordy adding fuel to the fire. And then to top off the misery Snyder showed up and according to him. "Since the four of them got along so well together they can all go as one big group tonight and take kids out for trick or treating tonight."

Cordy looked at black leather suit and red wig. "Hey dweeb how about these?"

Xander looked at the costumes. "Avengers… it's been done."

Cordy nodded the red wig of Black Widow wouldn't hide her completely anyway. She looked and saw a different costume which was enough of a unique helmet to hide her face but stylish at the same time in a black and white clothes and jacket. She saw a tag and saw 'Park'. "How about these?"

Xander looked at her with an impressed look. He looked over at a winter jacket with a hood and glasses to hide his face. "This works great for me I'm OK with this. Guys!"

Willow and Oz walked over Willow looked at her crush in surprise seeing what Xander's in. "Won't that be a little sweaty tonight?"

Xander shook his head and pulled out a toy gun. "Nope, worth it."

Willow looked at the tag on his jacket and saw it read 'Snart' She saw two costumes one said 'Snow' but she grabbed the other one that said 'Snart'. Black leather jacket pants, and a plain black shirt. Maybe a girlfriend or a wife as she grabbed it.

Oz looked at the coats and saw one with 'Rory' with a gun and brown jacket. That would work for him.

* * *

That night Cordy looked around as the spell took hold from under her mask. A mini demon ran at her and she quickly stuck her hand out as the mini demon was knocked to the ground by a burst of light.

She turned to see another demon only when it got close it was shot with this blue light until it was trapped in a thick sheet of ice. She looked at him ready to take a shot bout couldn't bring herself to do it. Not again.

Cordy looked over and saw Xander in a parka with smile satisfied at what he did gun in hand. "Citizen Cold?" She could have sworn Zoom killed him?

"Captain, I gave myself a promotion." Leonard Snart quipped looking over the woman over with a unique white and black helmet. To go with the black and white suit, He still recognizes her though when he had The Flash looked into. "Linda Park, Barry's ex, what did he decide to get back together and let you in on all his secrets now?"

Linda Park looked at him and quickly realized she's not home yet. At least it's not Zoom's world. She looked around and saw all the damage. Demons running and attacking each other and anyone dumb enough to open their doors. "What happened here?"

Snart looked around and only one thought entered his head. They screwed up the future… again. "My guess is someone changed the present to this."

"What sick bastard would want to make a world like this?" Linda asked.

The two turned to a trail of fire and another man's boast. "Yeah that's right come and get me, come on." He smiled and shot a gun and that was revealed to be a flame thrower as he jumped over a car and joined the two in a wide grin. "I love this place!"

Snart just looked at him and shook his head. Somehow he's not surprised.

Linda looked at him in confusion. What the hell is wrong with this world? "Mick?"

Mick Rory looked at the new girl in peaked curiosity. "And how do you know that name, when I don't know you."

Linda backed away seeing the psychotic look in his eyes of a monster second only to Zoom. "And you're surely not the librarian I know."

"Librarian?" Mick asked confusion clear on his face. "Who are you again?"

Snart looked at her as the complete came to his head. "She's the Linda Park of Earth 2."

Linda looked at the man in confusion. "How do you know that?"

"You don't look like a journalist." Snart replied easily enough as a blast of gold landed near his feet. "And they say absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Linda looked and saw another woman in leather with a gun of her own.

The new woman looked at Leonard. "Where the hell have you been?"

Snart for the first time tonight showed genuine concern. "Um… 1975 and then the 1980's."

Mick nodded wondering why they were even there. "I can vouch for that. Nothing but reruns on TV."

Linda went to speak up but was stopped by Snart whom replied. "We already had two literal rocket scientists try."

Lisa Snart looked at her brother almost in a smile. "Really, you're hanging out with eggheads now."

"It's complicated." Snart replied.

Lisa looked at her brother. She's trying to picture Mick with Scientists and her brother time traveling she just can't. "Please tell me you're not trying to make up for what you did to dad."

"Of course not. Honorable doesn't suit me. So now that the bands back together what should we do to pass the time?" Snart asked.

Linda looked at them Snart's cold gun is the best shot she has against Zoom. So why not? "Well, with the chaos going on tonight cops are probably swamped, I say we hit a bank. Lock ourselves in from this insanity and steal enough to live like royalty." Until Zoom finds them and kills them all anyway.

Mick looked at her with a quiet smile. He's had enough of heroes for the time being.

Lisa gave a shrug no Flash and it will be good to stretch her criminal muscles.

Snart looked at the newcomer with a smile. "Oh you're going to fit right in with the rest of us."

The four Rogues just walked trying to find the nearest bank.

Mick and Lisa each had a smile flexing the old familiar muscles as they loaded up the last of the cash. Relatively easy since they didn't plan it, No alarms, it's almost like there's no crime wherever they are. Leonard and Linda went to secure a truck just in case there are actual cops here.

Mick led the way out and ran into a blond haired man in a leather jacket with a group of five others. "And who are you supposed to be?"

The blond looked at him with a bit of a smile. "My name is David."

Lisa looked at the group. They are all staring at her and not exactly in a cute way like Cisco does. She's getting chills running down her back here. "What do you want?"

Mick moved his finger to the trigger of the flamethrower. He's got a bad feeling here.

David looked at them with a smile as the rest of their faces suddenly changed to that of pure monsters. "We have everything we want." He moved an inch closer and that was enough for Mick as he fired his weapon and set David's arm ablaze.

David looked at his arm in a smile as he quickly put himself out and stepped aside revealing one of his men with a dead girl. David's friend biting into her neck.. "We're trying to make you immortal don't fight…"

Mick watched with a smile as David soared through the air before hitting the floor in a thud.

Lisa looked around she knows the sound of a car hitting someone but doesn't see it. The remaining vampires... and she can't believe she has to use that word flew at them head first but smacked something on the way to the two as they fell to the floor holding their head. "What the hell?"

The younger Snart sibling could only watch more confused as an invisible door opened as Linda came out followed by her brother. "How?"

Linda watched David try to make and just blasted him with a bit of light knocking him back down. "It's a trick I know with light. Get inside."

* * *

The Rogues run into the Bank Snart at the back once they're all in he shoots mindlessly at the open area making a door of ice. Snart lowered his hood in frustration, where are Sara and the others when you need them.

Snart pointed at his sister and his friend. "We take two minutes to get a truck and you pick a fight with the cast of Twilight!"

Lisa looked at him with a scowl. She knows she's the only person that can make the look affect him. "We didn't pick a fight they just showed up, I was kind of hoping Mick's gun would have just killed them but it kind of went limp."

Mick scowled at her. Although on the bright side it got his adrenaline pumping.

Linda looked at Snart. "Can't you freeze them with the cold gun?"

Snart nodded but another complication. "Yeah but it won't kill them." He turned to the newest member. "So what do you hit people with?"

Dr. Light looked at her gloves. "Hard light, it will knock em down but it won't keep them down."

Snart just smiled.

* * *

After repeated hits the vampires finally started chipping away at the wall of ice. Another couple hits and the ice wall shattered completely.

David looked around. "We see in the dark you won't stay hidden for long." To David's eyes, the light right in front of him bent in shapes revealing Linda whom quickly stuck both hands up as David moved aside not getting blasted again. The blasts flat out obliterated two of his brotherhood whom now ends at the waist until their lower bodies melted into reddish goop.

David quickly punched her to knock her down. "How did you do that?"

"Ultraviolet hard light" Linda said with a smile maybe if she's a vampire Zoom can't kill her.

David went to grab her only for his free hand to go numb under Snart's cold gun.

Mick wasted no time and set the first vampire to go after Lisa a blaze before handing her his gun. It might not do much but you can light people on fire easier then turning them to gold.

Lisa aimed but a vampire pushed her to the wall and went for her neck. Mick took the American flag and even for him this has to be either patriotic or offensive. He jammed it into the vampire's back and just watched as he crumbled to dust on the metal flag pole.

Mick smiled looking at his work that was just neat. Another vampire tackled him to the ground and Lisa quickly snatched up the much more effective flag. Lisa wasted no time and stabbed him through the back of the heart. She smiled until the vampire exploded into ludicrous chunks of body splattering both her and Rory in blood and guts.

Lisa looked herself over and shook everything off as best she could but she'll still be red as a tomato and gooey bits of everything else. "What was that? That's not fair yours just turned to dust. Yours fits in an ashtray and mine exploded what was that about?"

Mick grabbed another vampire from behind and Lisa just ran it through with the flag. It dissolved to dust but not before spitting a puddle of blood at her.

Lisa wiped the blood off her face. "I hate these things!"

Mick gave an empty stare and just focused on David. The last one left.

David moved to the left avoiding an icicle and quickly grabbed Linda. "No more light shows from you." David looked at Snart who kept the cold gun aimed at him. The vampire smiled an evil grin as his teeth came out. "What are you going to do?"

Snart smiled as the gun charged.

David looked him. "You can't kill me without killing her. And you're too much of a goody two shoes to pull that trigger."

Snart let out a smile. "Actually I'm not such a nice guy myself. No that I'd have to be."

David looked in front of him as Linda hit a button on her belt as hard light expanded in a circle around her pushing David away giving Snart a clear shot as he kept the cold gun on him eventually an icicle the size of a watermelon was sticking out of his chest.

David looked at the results as his face a deeper shade of red then any human face could as he snarled but dissolved into a little red puddle.

Lisa slammed her metal flag down in frustration. "Seriously why did I get the only kill like that?"

Linda rolled her eyes as she turned to the younger woman. "No two suck heads go out the same way some implode some explode, haven't you ever seen the lost boys?"

Lisa shook her head. "What are the Lost Boys?"

Linda looked at the three in disbelief. "I pity your world. Well, at least for the first one anyway."

* * *

The next day Buffy walked into the library and saw the somber moods of Xander, Willow, Cordelia, and someone she doesn't know. "Well aren't we the happy bunch?"

Willow looked at her nothing like dressing like a little sister to kill a crush. "Bad day."

Buffy grabbed the books for the day that she left here. "Well it could be worse. You could be hunted by the cops like those robbers that stole 2 Million dollars last night." Seeing that didn't work she just says. "Well I'll see you guys later."

Once Buffy was out of sight Xander quietly turned to everyone else. "So, who remembers how to make what they had last night?" He smiled seeing all their hands go up but quickly sobered back down. "So we make the weapons start a college fund and never speak of that Winnebago again."

Cordy nodded her dad's lawyers and accountants are a little less then ethical. "I'll take care of it."

The three looked at each other agreeing you can't exactly say Halloween made us do it to the police and the bank is to well guarded to just return the money in secret. They want to do the right thing. But there's no way they won't end up in either a cage of steel bars or rubber walls. The rogues... three of the rogues were very careful so nothing will lead back to them.

"No More Winnebago" All agreed. Hoping they can after last night.

* * *

 _Buffy looked at the TV confused. "Winnebago?"_

 _"Safe word Buffy" Willow explained. "So we robbed a bank."_

 _Buffy shook her head. "Can't believe you two kept that money."_

 _Xander looked at her. "Because Jail or the nut house was such a better option. And how did Buffy fund Slayer Academy for the first year."_

 _Buffy snatched the remote and hit skip chapter. "Moving on."_

* * *

Author Notes

The Flash and the Rogues are owned by DC.


	23. Home

Xander looked around as the spell wore off. Well… that was hell. At least he didn't cut Angel's head off, Buffy would never forgive him. All he did was buy hair gel to mock Angel and a white muscle shirt at Ethan's how did this happen? He just looked down at his bloody knuckles.

Buffy walked up very carefully to one of her best friends. Last thing she needs after tonight is a fight to the death. "Xander, are you OK in there?"

Xander turned around as Buffy took a calm breath his eyes aren't blood red anymore. He turned around. "Yeah, I'm probably going to be messed up for a few weeks but I'll manage."

Buffy nodded. "Good to know."

* * *

 **A year and a half later**

Xander sat on the cold table he hates Doctor's offices but he needed it to get cleared for a road trip from his mother. He rubbed his arm gently doc took a quart of blood from him it feels like.

The lab technician was going through it for an early analysis as something interesting caught her eye as she went for the phone. "Professor, we found another one."

* * *

That night Xander looked at his parent's house. Still too early for them to just be asleep so he's not going in. He took a walk for a couple blocks and ran into the cast of GI Joe. Before he can even quip he's on the floor twitching from a tazer blast.

* * *

Xander opened his eyes and sees a big circle thing he's trapped in. This better not be a coffin. He opened his eyes to the outside world and sees a middle aged woman. "Who the hell are you?"

The woman looked at him with a smile reading his lab reports. "I'm Doctor Maggie Walsh. You're in my laboratory."

Xander looked at her trying to stand but legs aren't working like they should be. "What am I doing here?"

"Earlier today you had your blood drawn. There was an abnormality in it. A foreign gene if you will."

Xander looked at her having a bad feeling. "You strapped me down into a tube to tell me I have cancer?"

Maggie shook her head. "It's not cancer, whatever is it's in a dormant state."

Xander let out a smile. "Well I don't want anything done to me. So you can cut me free."

Maggie looked at him. "Whatever this gene is could mean the next step of evolution in the human race. Aren't you curious?"

Xander pulled at his restraints. "What I am is bored, now let me go!"

Maggie pushed a button as the tube carrying Xander pushed him inside. He looked up and saw poorly constructed light bulbs. He gets the feeling he's not going to like them.

Another doctor looked at Walsh. "You know it won't do any good if he dies from this."

Maggie shook her head. "It will wake it up. It's for the good of humanity and the army."

Xander looked around and shouted. "MY FRIENDS WILL FIND ME!"

"Your friends think you left early for your road trip." Walsh flipped a switch as Xander was bombarded with light as it burned his skin as he shouted in continuous pain. He felt like he was on fire but he's not.

Once it stopped Xander just collapsed just trying to catch his breath. Tears running down his face, nothing ever hurting him that much. Buffy… where are you?

Walsh looked at the skeleton. Nothing out of the ordinary yet. The gene's still dormant. "Hit him again."

Xander shouted in pain as the onslaught continued he kept shouting as some of his hair fell out as his whole body burned under the torture. He kept shouting "Somebody help me! Please! Buffy…Bu"

The doctor smiled in relief for the boy. "We're done the gene just lit up like a Christmas tree."

Maggie smiled and hit the button to pull Xander out. She looked at the boy and to her surprise she can see what the gene is. Maggie and the Doctor watched in amazement as one by one every single radiation burn healed on it's own. Within two minutes to most eyes you'd just be looking at an eighteen year old man.

Xander opened his eyes and snarled at the woman struggling to break free.

Maggie looked at the boy she just discovered the ultimate weapon for ADAM.

Xander growled at her as the flesh at his knuckles seemed to split open and three bones extended out of each hand forming very primitive claws. Xander moved fast and used the bone claws to carve up his restraints as he shot to his feet and buried all six claws in the second doctor's chest. He retracted them and grabbed Maggie by the throat and pushed her back till she was over a table and the Sunnydale teen was choking the life out of her.

Xander looked at her so angry he could snap her neck at any given moment until a loud explosive rattle rang out. Xander tried to keep choking but all that red liquid keeps getting in his eyes.

Maggie watched as blood poured from the center of Xander's head as he crumbled over. She turned to the left and saw Riley holding a gun. "Thank you Agent Finn."

Riley looked at the boy bleeding on the floor. "Who was he?"

"Hostile" Maggie answered quickly. She thought it would have been a waste but she sees once again the wound is closing on its own. "Just looks human the claws are another story. Call Dr Matthews. I want his assistance on this."

"Yes Ma'am"

* * *

A week later Xander was locked in a chamber with an Oxygen mask covering his mouth. It's been a week and he's been shot thirty seven times, all in the head usually by tazer sometimes by bullet. By Wednesday he stopped fighting back. A sad acceptance of Buffy's not coming this time.

Maggie looked at him not a soldier in sight just Doctors. Riley and the others just wouldn't understand. "I hope you understand one day Mr. Harris what you're going through can save millions of lives."

Xander turned and looked at her. The things he would say if it wasn't for this stupid mask. First chance he gets the bitch is dead. He closed his right hand with a fist and put his left right next to it. He made a motion of turning a crank with his left hand as the middle claw in his right hand slowly came up.

Walsh glared at the boy. This would be so much easier if he'd understand the good she's trying to do. But he'll kill her first chance he gets and she's too important now. "Do it!"

Xander twitched in place in excruciating pain. The mask makes it impossible for him to be given the decency to even scream. He thought the radiation was bad this was so much worse. He listened as his ears pick up bones crunching, burning, and breaking, his own bones and he's unable to do anything about it. Before long even with the healing factor he passed out from the pain as his heart stops.

Wash looked at the flat line as the injection finished. The door to the lab opened as a woman in a red cloak entered. Walsh looked at her calmly as Xander's machine started functioning again showing a pulse. Someone on loan from another branch of the government. "Do your job!"

The woman in red looked at her for a moment. Wondering what the hell the government is doing letting a woman like that run this place? Making a better future, this whole insanity seems to be forgetting the past. She sets out an entire bag of Lethe's bramble and a crystal as she lit the Bramble and held the crystal under a Bunsen burner. "For the boy this char, Let Lethe's Bramble do its chore. Purge his mind of all memories happy or grim, of pains from all slights and sins good and evil. When the fire goes out, the crystal turns black, the spell will be cast. Tabula Rasa, Tabula Rasa, Tabula Rasa."

The woman in red turned to Walsh with a now black crystal. "It's done; this fulfills my debt to the man in your government. Call me again I'll slaughter every living thing here."

Walsh just took the crystal without saying a word to the woman. Everything the boy was is now in here. It's her leverage in case he breaks free. Given Xander's hatred of her and what she's just done she'll keep him on ice until they can control him. He and Adam will work as brothers to bring about great things.

* * *

 **Some time later**

Spike ran in a rush. They're going to kill him. Slayer with funds who knew. He ran for another room labeled 3-13 and hid to catch his breath. He looked into a glass looking chamber and one thing quickly became obvious. The slayer has nothing to do with this place. He looked around and found a chair. That will work.

Spike grabs the chair and just chucked it at the chamber as the glass shatters. Xander falls forwards but comes to an abrupt stop with tubes clinging to his arms, spinal cord, and neck like a demented marionette. Spike rolled his eyes as a loud rattle hit the door. "Come on Droopy rise and shine." He walks over and just rips all the tubes out when to his surprise all the open cuts heal right up. "Someone isn't human anymore." He punched the unconscious boy in the face and to his surprise held his hand in immense pain. What is he made of and why did that hurt so much. "Oy, wake up!"

The soldiers break through the door and Spike just slugs the first one and to his own surprise.

It felt like his own head exploded.

Spike fell to the floor and saw a soldier setting the stake ready to kill him until three metallic blades shot out of the soldier's chest.

Spike watched with a smile as the soldier fell to the floor dead.

The other two backed up in fear. "3-13 it's lose."

Spike smiled seeing Xander with three claws sticking out of each hand. Halloween deja vu there's a reason he bolted form that fight.

One of the soldiers pulled out a live sidearm and quickly shot him in the head when to their surprise all that happened was a spark along with a tiny piece of metal showing under Xander's skin.

Xander looked at them and let out a feral growl as he stabbed the last two soldiers through the gut with three claws each and in a bit of surprise of strength threw them like they were toys behind him as his claws withdrew to his hands.

Xander went out the door and saw Matthews with three more soldiers a floor below them carving up a yellow demon. Xander just stood there flashing back.

 _"Up the dose we need him sedated enough for the cryotube to do its job"_

 _"Sir this is more then enough to kill King Kong! It could kill him!"_

 _"Just do it we have all we need from him anyway."_

Spike stepped outside and saw the boy once again go to that crazy place he'd love to know what they did to him in there.

Xander snarled as his claws came out and he jumped down to two of the soldiers below with a loud war cry each sets of claws goes through their heads. Xander lunged at the poor soldier in front of him whom was hoisted into the air by the ferocity of Xander's uppercut with the claws as Xander just let the body fall off hids claws and to the floor.

Matthews backed up terrified. "Now Xander… we can…" He went to run Xander right behind him. Matthews looked down to see all six claws come out of his stomach. Xander turned him around and pinned him to the wall with one set. "Xan…"

Spike watched with a demonic grin as Xander just kept repeatedly stabbing the doctor with his other set. By the third stab he was dead Xander was already on eighteen. Xander took out the other set and just alternated swipes tearing and clawing at what was left of Matthews as what's left of the doctor fell to the floor.

Xander turned around as the door opened and an army came in with Walsh in the back Xander turned to them and snarled.

Spike was going through what's left of the doctor and quickly got his ID card. He grabbed a broom and poked Xander in the back and the teen swung backwards. "You can't take them all live to fight another day, come on." He needs the kid since he can't hit anyone. Xander retracts the claws and follows him.

Walsh watched as her pet project fled to fight another day. She spent ten million dollars and black magic to make him an invincible weapon. And just like that he's gone.

* * *

Xander ran right out of the building and Spike watched him go. OK, that's disappointing. He tries to be a good guy just once... and the guy up and left him once he was free. He didn't need something to protect him from the sun or anything.

Spike groaned and took his duster and put it over his head. "Thanks Nikki"

* * *

Xander came to a stop at long last at a little strip mall. He looked around and quickly just grabbed a gray hoodie off the rack and put it on concealing his face.

The clerk looked at him and rolled his eyes. Damn kids. "Hey! You gotta pay for that." Xander turned around as the claws popped out. "Um… have a nice day."

Xander smelled the air and there was something similar about it. He came up to a redhead a bit of a walk away and a familiar looking boy that caused him to back away. That boy works for Walsh the woman must too. He quickly went for the other direction.

* * *

Buffy Summers sat on the headstone with a pout. Is a little good luck too much to ask for? They had thought Xander went on his road trip but after a week of waiting Willow called him and got nothing they found his car wrapped around a telephone pole in LA. And Angel being the sensitive guy he was said Xander's blood was in it and was likely more then dead. Willow is going through her own slice of hell since not only is Xander dead Oz first cheated on her and followed it up by leaving her. Compared to that her problem with one and done Parker don't seem that bad and she means one. She's pretty sure she could have made toast in the time that took.

Buffy leaned against the tombstone with Giles. Apparently a vampire is hiding out here that was supposedly kidnapped by the commando guys. "Giles I'm bored."

Xander walked up with the gray hood over his head and came to a stop listening to the two. The nose led him here.

Giles looked at Buffy. "I'm sure our boy will come by. And we can get him."

Buffy looked at the tranquilizer rifle. "So we dope him up and take him back."

Giles leaned against tree his legs getting tired. "Yes it shouldn't be too hard. We'll interrogate him and that will be it."

Xander let out a growl seeing they'll never let up. Xander ran out in a fury and jumped knee first onto Buffy's back knocking her down.

Buffy moved her legs to avoid getting hit while she was down as she quickly kipped up. "Well what do you have to hide?" Xander tackled her to the ground and started choking her as Buffy just went to flip him off her until a shot rang out.

Xander looked at his arm and saw the dart in it as he ripped it out and hopped to his feet.

Giles looked at the gun. There was enough in there to put down a wired Oz with one hit before he sniped at himself. "Good show Giles." He fired at his neck to the same result and Giles ran Buffy's attacker giving chase until he ran uphill.

Xander caught him with a tackle and started unloading rights and lefts on the watcher. He grabbed a rock to hit him in the head with until a much bigger rock hit him and practically exploded into pebbles on impact and sent him tumbling down the hill.

Giles looked at his slayer and fixed his glasses. He saw half a tombstone in her hands. "Did you hit him with a tombstone?"

"He was going to kill you and it was the only thing I could find." Buffy defended herself. She looked over and with her keen eyes easily saw the body moving up and down as he breathed. "You gotta be kidding me. He's still alive!"

Buffy went down to finish this. She lost someone important to her already. She won't make that mistake again for Giles and Willow's sake. She pulled off the hood and flipped him over. Immediately every killer instinct the slayer had vanished. "Giles! Come over here now!" She immediately put her hands to the back of his head trying to keep the blood in. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Don't die, please don't die now!" She looked up her heart pounding in her chest "Giles!"

The Englishman ran weapon in hand.

Buffy pushed Giles away when she saw him coming at him with a stake. "What are you doing?"

Giles looked at her. "There was six pints of blood in that car. All his, Buffy whoever it is anymore, it's not Xander."

Buffy shook her head. "I don't believe that. I won't. He didn't bite us." She pulled him closer to her ignoring the blood soaked hands from the huge gaping wound in the back of his head.

* * *

Xander opened his eyes and looked around seeing nothing he also sees he's in chains again. Only this time literal chains.

"Good morning Xander"

Xander turned and growled seeing the woman from last night.

Buffy looked at him and held up a bottle of water with a straw for him to drink form but he slapped it away. "Well I was happy your head healed on it's own. Sorry about the chains but you kind went rabid on us last night."

Xander looked at the chains as he growled and pulled at his chains to break free.

Buffy put her hands up to stop him and keep him calm as she straddled him. "Xander please, just calm down." Buffy jumped back and let out a small puzzled scream seeing six metallic claws pop out of Xander's knuckles. She watched as Xander used the claws to cut the chains freeing himself. "Don't you remember us? We'd never hurt you? Xander what happened to you?" Buffy watched Giles run in with the tranq gun but just shook her hand in a motion telling him not to. They'd lose any chance they had to speak with him.

Xander looked at the blond woman and just looked at himself as he looked into the mirror. He brought his claws to his face to admire them. Or in this case be disgusted by them when he sees the complete picture of him. "Who am I?" He asked the mirror from the looks of it. "Why?" He looked at the monster they made him as tears started forming in his eyes as fell to the floor knees up to his head his head. "Why would they do this to me?"

Buffy looked at the scared boy he doesn't remember anything and woke up a monster. She went down to her knees and just held him as he cried. "It's OK, it's gonna be alright." She made small circular motions with her hands on his back just trying to sooth him and keep him calm. "It's OK, you're home."

Giles just dropped the rifle seeing it's over. Well almost over the person who did this to him is going to have to answer to Ripper first.

* * *

 _Buffy frowned as the next story started up. Right at the good part. she can't believe Xander would have gone through that. It's disturbing she has to change the mood. "So… the question isn't whether Walsh will die in that world just how?"_

 _"Put me down for claws through the eyes." Xander answered._

 _Willow looked away knowing she did something similar to Tara but on a much smaller scale. "I say turned inside out."_

 _"Stake through the heart." Buffy added causing Willow and Xander to stare at her. "What?"_

 _Xander looked at her he understood it about five seconds after the fact. But at the time he was all aboard for what happened until it actually happened. "You were the only one who wanted to spare Warren."_

 _"Warren was a sleazebag. But at least he didn't torture Tara just to see what made her tick and convince himself it was the right thing to do." Buffy closed her argument and hit play._

* * *

Author Notes

Sadly Wolverine is owned by Marvel. But for all I care he is owned by Hugh Jackman or Fox since Marvel killed him for being petty.

Thank your all of the reviews


	24. The Unexpected Volume 5

Cordy looked around and could only think one thought. What's with all the damn glitter? She watched Xander just grab the gun so he's going to be a soldier Buffy is going to be a girl from the past and Willow… She doesn't even need to guess twenty bucks says ghost.

She sighed and grabbed a slim t shirt and very short shorts. Run a brush through her hair and she's ready for tonight. If she's babysitting she's not shopping at Party Town.

* * *

That night Xander led the helpless Buffy in the door as Willow took charge. Xander quickly fired off some rounds and scared off the demons chasing them.

Willow sighed and looked at him. "What did I just say?"

"Big noise scares monster." Xander countered

Willow stopped to get her grounding. "Alright, we just have to."

Xander looked outside and saw a woman too traumatized from the events of tonight to even move properly. "Damn it!"

Xander ran out ready to save the day. The girl looked at the demon before letting out an empty sigh as she jumped into mid air and shredded her clothing and quickly became a gray haired wolf that quickly attacked the demon that fled in fear after one bite.

Xander looked at the wolf who just kept nudging him backwards towards the house impatience in her eyes. "Alright, I'm going." He looked at the front door and wondered how the wolf would fit through that.

To answer his question the wolf stormed ahead and transformed into a naked woman once at the steps as she awkwardly ran up and Xander ran in after her.

* * *

Willow sat with Buffy waiting nervously to her surprise Cordelia walked into the room bare naked one arm draped over her breast her other hand between her legs.

"Clothes?" Cordelia asked.

Willow looked at her frozen for a moment almost slack jawed her eyes stuck on the obstructive arm.

Cordelia glared at her great now this is a thing. "My boobs aren't my eyes red!"

Willow looked up wondering what that was. "Sorry, uh upstairs first door on the left."

Xander ran into the room. "Is she OK?"

Willow brought herself to normal Willow self and turned to Xander. She'll never know what that was. "Yeah she's fine… I think. Can you secure upstairs I'll give a holler if something happens down here?"

"Sure" Xander replied.

* * *

Xander headed upstairs and went to the shut door and gave a gentle knock. "Lady, are you OK in there?"

"I'd be better if the person who owns this room wasn't the size of a real life Barbie doll." The woman answered from the other side. "I can't find a shirt or bra that will fit." Xander took off his jacket opened the door a crack and held it there as the woman took it.

The woman exited in skin crushing black pants and Xander's jacket.

Xander took one look and nearly shriveled in fear at the woman's cold stare. "Whoa what's eating you?"

"Bad… couple of years" The woman answered. "It's gotten to the point that even my own brother turned against me."

Xander frowned but stayed where he was. "What happened?"

The woman looked at him. "You got a couple hours."

Xander nodded locking the window and backing up. "Lady asked to lock up so I have the time Ms…"

The woman smiled. "Leah"

"Xander, so what happened to you?"

Leah leaned back against the wall as Xander locked up the room. "Well not that long ago, I was in a three year relationship with my ex boyfriend we were happy then..."

"He changed." Xander filled in.

Leah nodded as she sat down on the bed. "You have no idea."

Xander sat on the bed they'll hear the window break if anything gets in. "Bad changes?"

Leah looked at him, for her definitely but the others she's not so sure. "I don't know. What I do know is that shortly after he dumped me… for my cousin."

Xander had to wince at that. What the hell was this guy's problem? "And your cousin had no problem with what he did?"

Leah shook her head remembering it at first. "What are you kidding she shot him down every chance she had. Once he attacked her I figured that would be the last nail but of course Stockholm kicked in."

Xander's eyes changed to keep a bit of focus as he asked maybe he can get a name and pay the scumbag a visit. "Who would stay with this psycho?"

Leah let out an inkling of something that might be a smile. "Look it's not like that and they do make each other happy. And I'm happy for them really, I am, it's just I can be happy for them and not want to see them."

"Makes sense to me." Xander assured her. Rough break up and she wants some space. "So, why didn't you just leave town?"

"Not as easy as I thought it would be. I can't function alone and bitter thoughts led to hell for everyone else." Leah replied only for the conversation to be cut off by a scream as they immediately ran downstairs.

* * *

Xander ran into the kitchen and only saw a dark haired man. "Where's Willow?"

"It's OK, she wasn't here." Angel assured them.

Leah looked at him she's lucky he doesn't have red eyes right now she'd swear vampire. "Who are you?"

Angel looked at her. "You were flirting with me last night."

Leah shook her head. "With how disgusting you smell… I doubt it."

Angel looked at the two for a moment as it kicked in. "You have amnesia just like Xander according to Willow."

Leah looked at him if she did that on Xander and forgot it she's going to be pissed. "You have amnesia?"

Xander shrugged. He doesn't feel any different but… "According to Willow, yes I do."

"Then I guess I have amnesia." Leah complied did she come here to avoid the pack? She turned to Angel. "Why'd you scream like a woman?"

"That was Buffy, she ran off when a vampire attacked. We have to find her." Angel insisted.

Xander looked at the ensouled vampire confused. "If half the things Willow told me were true she'll be fine right."

"Buffy would be fine, whoever she is now she's completely helpless." Angel countered.

Xander walked into the front room and grabbed a back pack and quickly put a blanket in it. "OK, let's go."

* * *

Xander smiled hitting a pirate with one last haymaker as Angel and Leah help Buffy up. "Huh" He turned to Angel. "Why did punching out that pirate give me a weird sense of closure?"

Willow ran through the wall. "Guys we have a problem Spike and an army."

Angel quickly grabbed Buffy and carried her bridal style.

Leah looked at the demon with the yellow eyes as he ran after them. That has to be the slowest undead blood sucking thing she has ever seen. "Guys, why are we running?"

"Because he'll kill us!" Angel answered like it should have been obvious with an army like that. "That's a real vampire not a kid in a costume."

Leah snarled and just walked the other way right into danger. "Yeah right."

Spike smiled seeing one of them dumb enough to die. As he got closer what started as a veal meal of Sunnydale teenager had her clothes practically explode as she turned into a seven foot tall wolf from the looks of it as Spike tried to stop. "Oh bloody!" He was cut off from the rest as Leah pounced on him and her jaws made quick work of his head as the other demons fled in fear as Xander fired at their feet.

* * *

The scoobies looked in relief as Leah switched back to human and then Cordelia. Cordelia quickly and awkwardly covered up. "One of you losers better have clothes for me!"

Angel went to take off his jacket but to his surprise Xander's already there with a blanket as he laid it out for her.

Cordy smiled feeling the blanket on her she got up and kept it wrapped around. She looked at her supplier for the moment and smiled at Xander until everything just seemed to stop. She fell to her knees until Xander caught her and pulled her back up. Cordy looked at her and for a moment gravity went off and on for her for just a small moment. Oh dear god did she just… Almost to answer her question she pulled Xander right into a deep and passionate kiss.

Angel let out a bewildered smile while Buffy's jaw just dropped. Thankfully Willow seemed to disappear.

Cordy realized that yeah she did. 3 billion guys and it's this idiot. She shook her head almost in denial and pushed Xander away panic in her eyes.

Xander looked at her as she just shifted into a wolf and ran top speed in the other direction. Xander went to run after her to figure out what just happened but Angel grabbed his arm. "Let go of me man."

"No" Angel replied in a tone that left no room for argument.

"Why not?" Xander asked.

"Because she needs time to process whatever just happened right now." Buffy answered causing Xander to stop fighting Angel to break free. "That's not the first time I've seen that face."

Xander took a breath to calm down. "OK, when did you see that face?"

Buffy smiled seeing he stopped at least. Now comes her hard part. "The mirror, for the first week I was called as the slayer."

Xander looked into the distance wondering where Cordelia in her shiny new wolf form had run off to.

* * *

 _Xander frowned seeing the next story. "Hey! Right when things were getting interesting."_

 _Buffy looked at him. Oh please tell he reads or watches it "Really… interesting huh?"_

 _"Moving on" Xander quipped. No one must know._

* * *

Author notes

Twilight is owned by a crazy woman who is not me.

Beware the devil's knuckle puck no goalie can stop it.

Thanks to everyone still reading.


	25. Stick with Basics

Xander looked around the Halloween store. He has money this year. Money for an actual costume. Who knew? He looked around and he found the costume he would wear. Now if only he can find the real costume.

Ethan looked at Xander staring at the costume. Is he really that much of an ass? Of course the answer is yes. "Suits you?"

"With the exception of the mask I don't recognize it. Is it a new costume for the comics?" Xander asked curious he knows there were different costumes but he doesn't recognize this one.

Ethan nodded. "I believe it is."

Xander nodded. "Don't you have any of the traditional?"

Ethan shook his head. "Unless you are a five foot one girl no."

Xander thought on it but in the end took the costume. "Looks like a mixture of him and Moon Knight." Ever since that one idiotic decision he hasn't touched a single one of the comics. Maybe he should end his boycott and start reading again.

* * *

That night Cordelia ran as fast as she could from Jo Jo the dog faced boy. She knows this is Buffy's fault she's just not sure how yet. "Someone help!"

To her surprise she saw a figure in a white hood swing down on a rope and use both feet to kick Jo Jo and knock him out cold. The hooded figure let out another line as it let go of the old one and grabbed Cordelia and swung up to the roof of a house. As the two landed.

Cordelia looked at her savior. She's pretty sure she saw Xander in that get up at school. "OK, I appreciate the rescue but…" She sees her savior looking at her muscles and her armpits from the looks of it. "Seriously you're flexing?"

"No, someone's been screwing with my costume which means someone knows who I am." Xander defended himself.

Cordy rolled her eyes. "Factory error you're not really him. You delusional idiot."

"Right, that makes sense considering I just fought Frankenstein." The hero replied. "So, do you know where we can fix this lady?"

Cordy nodded. "I think I know."

The hero groaned. "Don't puke on my suit it's the only one I have now."

Cordelia looked at him confused. She knows it's Xander under there because she saw the dweeb earlier though it does seem he shrunk a bit. "Why would I?" Before she's lassoed to his back in a sticky rope. "Hey!" Xander's costume just jumped off the roof Cordy still attached. "I HATE YOU HARRIS!"

* * *

Giles rested best he could in his library hard at work. He turned to the ghost of Willow. "So... everyone became their costume?"

"That I know of." Willow replied. "Buffy was a 17th century girl and I was a ghost which probably means Xander is jumping off rooftops and fighting crime."

To their surprise the window smashes open and Xander just pulls the lasso freeing Cordelia. The teenager just ran to the trash can and promptly threw up. Xander just looked at her. "Lightweight."

Cordy glared at him trying to get her knees to not feel like they're made of jelly anymore. "Harris… go fu…" She promptly threw up.

Willow looked at him. "You've shrunk? Are you OK?"

"I'm fine… whoever you are." Xander replied.

Willow looked at him for a moment. "That mask really messes with your voice." She walked to the trashcan. "OK your name is Cordelia and you're not really a cat."

Cordy rolled her eyes at the redhead. "No kidding, is it that obvious? Thanks Willow! I almost missed the obvious!"

Willow looked at her surprised. "Wait, you remember me?"

"Yeah lucky me." Cordy groused. "What's going on?"

Giles looked at her. "Cordelia where did you get your costume?"

Cordelia looked at the hole in her costume and rolled her eyes in disbelief. Why her? "You think Party Town will give me my deposit back?"

Xander looked at the woman in disbelief. "Woe is you."

Giles turned to Willow. "Can you take me to where you bought your costumes? I believe we'll be able to stop this madness there."

Willow nodded. "I'm your girl." She quickly turned to Xander. "Do you mind going to Buffy's 1630 Revello Drive and check in on her and Angel?"

"On it." Xander assured them as he turned to Cordelia. "Are you coming?"

Cordy shook her head. "Absolutely not one time with you is enough for a stomach."

Xander shrugged innocently and then jumped out the window and ten feet into the air using a suddenly appearing white rope as a way to pull himself down the block.

Willow looked slightly open mouthed. "Wow!"

Giles silently nodded. What the hell did he go as? He couldn't under the hood.

* * *

Xander hopped to the roof still some time until Revello Drive but he sees another problem. Pirate attacking a woman… literally. Revello can wait.

Xander jumped down and the pirate aimed his gun Xander put his hand up and a rope compressed to a ball that knocked the gun out of his hand.

The pirate pulled out his sword. "Ye be a demon!"

"Just a good drummer." Xander countered.

Angel ran up and saw something he really wasn't expecting. OK, what the hell is he watching? From the scents he knows the one in white is Xander but no idea about the pirate. Hell he doesn't even think the pirate knows how far over his head he's in.

The Pirate kept swinging and Xander effortlessly dodged. The pirate swung for his head and Xander ducked he'd go low and Xander would jump enough for the blade to miss. Swings left and right he'd just side step. The pirate made a mad dashing lunge and Xander just front flipped over him. The pirate charged and Xander simply back flipped to get out of strike distance.

Xander put his hand out and rope snatched the sword from the pirate as it landed in his hand. The pirate rushed the Sunnydale teen who just cracked him in the head with the hilt knocking him out.

Xander turned to the a 17th century girl. "Are you OK lady?"

Buffy kept her focus on Angel. "He's a vampire."

Xander shook his head. "If he was a vampire he would have drank your blood by now."

Angel looked at him he couldn't fathom this as Xander especially with the weird voice. "She's not wrong."

"Oh" Xander replied weakly. "Then he's not an evil vampire. I mean he would have bit you while I was fighting Blackbeard."

Buffy turned to Angel. "Do you promise."

"Yes" Angel assured her.

Xander turned to him. "Really, like a real vampire?" Angel just nodded. The three were cut off by Spike entering with a calvacade of demons. "Are any of these guys real demons."

"Just the one that looks like Billy Idol." Angel replied.

Xander nodded. "So what do we do about him?"

"Kill him and try not to kill the others." Angel replied.

Xander looked around and put his hands together as his ropes turned into projectiles hitting the demons in the head knocking them out cold until only Spike remained. Xander aimed but all that was heard was an empty click. Xander looked down and disappointed and like he should have known that would happen as he let out a sigh. "Figures."

Spike let his game face out and Angel quickly matched it as Xander and Angel ran full fury into the other vampire. Spike for all his bravado is used to fighting one person at a time. Even one as strong as a slayer. Xander working on one side with Angelus on the other has left him crippled as he feels bruises from all the punches kicks as they alternate. He blocks the boy Angel hits him. He blocks Angel the boy hits him. He throws a punch at Angel whom ducks under it and Xander just smashes an elbow into the vampire's jaw. Spike stumbled backwards but used a roundhouse kick to recover but in a move that defied logic Xander bent Neo style putting all his weight on his knees as every thing above his knees bent backwards. Spike looked stunned till Angel caught him with a roundhouse kick. Xander took the moment and jumped on the dazed vampire three times using him as human ladder as he climbed up and landed behind the vampire kicking him in the back. Angel groaning wondering why the teen won't just use the sword to cut Spike's head off.

Spike took the open window and punched Angel the first bit of offense he's had. He turned around and punched as fast as he could with his left only for Xander to catch his fist. Spike repeated only for Xander to catch his other hand just like he planned as Spike quickly got his foot up and kicked him in his very human lungs driving the air out of him. "Not so quick now are we?"

Spike smiled and grabbed Xander by his lower back and back of the hood and threw him into the wall the teen's speed in aligning himself is the only reason he didn't go headfirst and break his neck as his back slammed into the wall. Spike went for the boy to see him calmly climbing up the wall with just gloved hands. "Right" He turned to Angel and saw a much more terrifying sight of lady useless taking her wig off seeing the slayer's return. "Bugger this!" He took out a knife he kept in case of pure demons and threw it right into Angel's side as the vampire toppled over and Buffy ran to his side giving him time to get away.

Xander hopped down and quickly put his arm out. Yeah, now that it's reloaded it's turned back into a toy.

Buffy checked he'll be fine being immortal stupid instincts. She turned to her friend. "Xander are you alright?"

Xander put his hand to his heart and immediately replied. "No! Oh god no!"

Buffy looked at him as she really looked him over and saw he didn't regrow and his voice hasn't changed now hat she's looking at him… "What's wrong?"

"Physically nothing, just, I need you to swear on your mom's life you won't laugh at me." Xander replied.

Buffy shook her head. "I can't do it." Especially not on the hellmouth Murphy practically lives here. "But I promise if I laugh I'll flash you. How's that sound?"

Xander thought on it with a smile for now. "Deal, Angel I'll just kick your ass if you laugh now."

Buffy and Angel watched as Xander lowered the cape giving them thier first view of his face tonight revealing a white Spider-Man mask. She knew he was some new Spider-Man costume only way to explain the impact webbing.

Xander took a weak little breath not believing this. His last moment of privacy as a normal human being for a good long while. He soaked it in and started with the mask.

Buffy watched and any joke or laugh she even could have had came to a crashing halt as the mask skimmed up. It revealed blond hair just as long as hers.

Xander took off the mask completely revealing a 5'7 blue eyed blond haired woman.

Angel let out a small little smirk in disbelief but it was enough for Xander to punch him in the face and even in the new body he went flying through the window.

"Xander!" Buffy scolded.

Xander pointed to the new hole in the house. "Hey, I warned him not to laugh!"

Buffy nodded seeing he had a point. "You did, and he did, maybe, what happened to you? Last I checked Peter Parker didn't have much going in the boob department."

Xander looked at himself. He's a monster. "Well, thanks to Ethan, whom I'm going to web up next time I see him and write free blood Charlotte's Web style. The Spider-Man I dressed as was actually a Spider Woman and what happens if Gwen Stacy gets bit and not Peter Parker."

Buffy looked Xander over. "Good to know."

Xander looked himself over still in disbelief. "Giles better be able to fix this!"

* * *

 _Xander hit the pause button. "OK… how long has Gwen Stacy been Spiderman?"_

 _Willow looked at him. "Kind of missing the point aren't you?"_

 _Xander shook his head. "No I want to know since when was that a thing?"_

 _"Just recently." Willow assured him. "Haven't you been reading the comics?"_

 _Xander shook his head. "Nope, I've been boycotting Marvel since One More Day spat in the face of every idea and conviction Spider-Man had and turned him into a thirty year old basement dweller."_

 _Buffy looked at him that's what he's concerned about? "You know, figured you'd be more upset about being turned into a girl."_

 _Xander gave a shrug. "OK 3 things. One this all seems to be in fun. Two that's not me. Three… I just bitch slapped Angel through a house how can I not enjoy that. Right Will?... Will?" He waved his hand in front of the redhead. "Hey, were you eye doing girl me."_

 _Willow looked at him with a frown. "Would you believe no?"_

 _Xander quickly hit skip chapter. "And we're done here."_

* * *

Author Notes

Spider-Man is owned by Disney

Spider-Gwen the thing that made me pick up used comics to read the comics and still boycott Marvel and make sure they don't get a dime from me.


	26. A Family Thing

Xander roamed the store with the company he has which includes him, Willow, Buffy, Cordy, some new guy called Oz, and thanks to fuehrer Snyder they all have to dress to match. Some days it just sucks to be him.

Buffy walked up to the group with a smile seeing a set of costumes. "Guys, how about this?"

Xander shook his head. "Great for the girls not so much for us. We'd all fight to be the big guy."

Buffy thought it over. "Angel can be the big guy. He's meeting us tonight to make up for Cordy anyway."

Xander looked at her with a smile. "Too easy Buff. Go ahead and do it. This night writes itself"

Buffy nodded and just stopped realizing he's right. Xander will torture Angel to no end over it. "Fair enough."

"Hey" Oz went to interrupt. "How about we put a lock on the big guy but everyone else is fair game.

Xander shrugged. "Works for me."

Buffy smiled. "So we're all agreed. Everyone else but the big guy is fair game."

They all nodded as Willow just quickly grabbed her costume. "Which means the big girl is on the table."

Buffy looked at the perfect costume to hide for Willow, she really shouldn't be surprised. She's not fighting her on it. She looked with a smile seeing a leather clad outfit, covered but sexy. That will work for her.

Xander rolled his eyes but lightened up at seeing who Buffy is going as. Lady in leather one of his greatest weaknesses. He looks for a very specific costume and smiled when he saw it. He went to grab it when to his surprise Buffy grabbed it. "Hey!"

Buffy looked at him confused. "What?"

Xander pointed at the costume. "I was gonna wear that."

Buffy looked it over. "Me and Angel are going tonight so he needs a costume and this is the only one that would fit… sorry."

Xander looked at her. He was set to say something about that being the costume of Willow's boyfriend. But he'll let her find out on her own.

Oz looked at the only one left in his size and he guesses he's going as this. Where's that future suit at but no go. He's stuck as this. Figures.

Cordy smiled looking at a purple and black suit showing some legs and it comes with a crossbow. Angel wants a warrior this could work to her advantage.

Xander looked around trying to find something for him. He looked at a leather jacket. Yeah, this will be him.

* * *

That night Angel looked around as the spell took hold. Rachael, he's going to kill the witch for this one. He looked at the woman next to him dressed in leather from head to toe save for eyes and mouth. He let out a disappointed sigh. "Selina, what did you do to me?"

The girl in leather waved her hands in innocence. "I haven't done anything illegal or immoral… this month." She looked at the man in black with long black hair and a blue bird emblem. "Besides even if I did something like this I'd go for the ex… Not Robin in his big boy tights."

"Someone say my name?"

Dick Grayson looked at the girl and he could see the point. He turned and saw Tim Drake come out as Robin. Pure red suit with bits of green and yellow a letter R close to his chest with a domino mask, he really should have done something for his legs in his younger days.

Selina looked around and rolled her eyes. "Let me guess all the boy blunders are here… except for the obvious one."

They were taken out of the conversation by something slamming into a trashcan. They turned around and saw a demon stumble about to his feet as The Huntress exited the ally and grabbed the lid of the trash can bashing the demon twice in the head with it.

Selena groaned now the crazy mob chick is here. "Who invited Bertinelli to this?"

The Huntress looked at Catwoman for a moment. "Mom?" She felt her legs go out. She recovered her grounding Well, the past it is. She quickly wrapped Selina in a hug?

Selina stayed in the hug she doesn't want to pick a fight with someone in the bat family that doesn't mind the blood. "Um what did you guys do to her? Bruce told me Zatanna is capable of twisted things."

"That's not Helena Bertinelli."

The group turned to the new voice as Batgirl walked up behind them.

Dick looked at the woman in confusion. What is Babs talking about? If it looks like a duck, and if the trashcan is any indication acts like a duck. It's a duck "She looks like Helena to me."

Huntress removed her mask, not the past. alternate world. "My name's not Helena Bertinelli it's Helena Wayne. I'm the daughter of Batman and Catwoman."

Nightwing turned to Catwoman with a smile. "You look good for a woman your age."

Catwoman just hit him in the arm for it and to his surprise Dick gently held his arm and tried not to cry.

Batgirl turned around and her eyes widened. "Guys!"

The crew turned around and saw an army of demons. But on the bright side the biggest one was only 5'1 at best. The demons took another step forward until it rained bullets at their feet scaring them away as the vigilantes took cover the demons fleeing into the night.

"You know, you guys aren't as stealthy as I remember."

Nightwing looked to the sky and a scowl came across his face for the first time tonight. It might not have been the Joker but it's someone he didn't want to see anytime soon after everything that's happened.

Robin looked up and saw the cliché of a biker in a leather jacket with a gray shirt and a red motorcycle helmet from the looks of him. "Who's the wacko with the Tommy gun?"

"The Red Hood" Barbara answered.

"Jason" Nightwing answered at the same time causing Selina and shortly afterwards Barbara jaws to drop a bit.

Barbara shook her head she heard of this guy. The things he did to Black Mask. "No, no you're wrong it… it can't be him."

Jason hopped down the fire escape catching the railing for balance as he flipped to the first floor ready to drop to the ground. "It's good to see you up and moving Babs... how is that?"

Barbara deflated knowing it now. Not many know she's... was Batgirl outside of the family, Dinah, and she's pretty sure her father but he'd never confirm it. She doesn't know how she's walking she's just thankful she is even if it's just for a little while. "Jason, what happened to you?"

Jason hopped down and was cut off by Dick the two former Robins staring a hole right through each other.

Selina looked at him confused at his choice of weapon. "Where'd you get the Chicago typewriter from?"

"Al Capone" Jason answered. "Weird thing is it's not a joke."

Helena looked at the newcomer. "I don't remember this guy who is he?"

Selina looked at... too much to process right now.

Dick just pointed at him and made the introduction. "Jason Todd. He took everything Bruce taught him and corrupted it."

Jason glared at him. So much for the supportive brother when Bruce was too hard on him. "You know what Dick, how about I beat you half to death with a crowbar, blow up what's left of you and then dip you in Ra's little wonder juice. If you come back the same you can ride that high horse all you want."

Dick kept his look on his old friend. "Bruce was just trying to help you?"

"He has a funny way of showing it!" Jason replied.

"well maybe if you didn't cover the city in blood and break out the clown for another round of his sick f..." Before Dick could even get another word in the second Robin punched him in the gut and threw him at a wall.

Tim went to help out Dick until Barbara grabbed his arm. She's not trying to be mean but Tim always counted on his mind. Jason would wipe the floor with him. He turned to Batgirl in confusion once upon a time she wanted to marry Dick she wouldn't want him to help Nightwing.

Barbara just shook her head. "I'm sorry Tim but you're no match for Jason. Besides, Nightwing's got this."

Dick quickly moved out the way of Jason's next punch and delivered one quick shot to the ribs and quickly sees Jason's not completely covered. He got one punch to the stomach and another to the ribs and one and right hook to the head.

Jason went for the leg as Nightwing hopped back a bit and Jason connected with an uppercut knocking his predecessor down. "I expected a better fight Dick."

Dick looked at his successor as he wiped blood off his mouth. "Who says I'm fighting?"

Jason looked at his feet and saw a blinking bird. "Crap!" He was knocked into the air by an explosion and fell to the floor.

Jason got up and went to run at the first Robin to mess up that pretty boy ace until a lasso went around his arm and Barbara pulled his arm back.

Selina grabbed her whip and quickly wrapped it around Nightwing's arm. To his surprise the cat burglar pulled him straight to the floor and knocked him on his ass.

Dick looked up in confusion. "When did you get so strong?"

Selina shrugged in innocence. "I don't know."

Jason looked to Barbara who detached the cable and just stopped for now because she asked to in her eyes.

Helena let out a whistle getting everyone's attention as they turned to her. "Listen, how about we put aside conflicting ideas for now and just try to patrol the streets I mean. Look around."

Barbara looked around and the picture quickly became obvious. Seeing demons chase down the innocent. It was like one of Scarecrow's nightmares come to life they gotta stop this first before they get home. "Alright, everyone split up into teams to of two." She turned to Jason. "I'll work with the boy wonder here."

Helena looked at her mother. "I'll work with her."

Selina looked at what is supposed to be daughter but she's still saying it's the mobster's kid just screwing with her. "You're the only one I'd work with anyway. Easier to get in banks when you're distracted."

Tim looked at Dick. "Guess that just leaves the two of us."

Dick simply nodded. "Just like whenever Bats is in a coma or incapacitated. Where is he anyway?"

Tim looked around. "Well if he was here odds are he would be here by now… or he's just hiding up high testing us."

Everyone let out a laugh at that even Jason before the groups broke apart.

* * *

Tim walked as Dick dealt with the last demon here on the floor thanks to an escrima stick to the head. "So, that was my predecessor."

Dick silently nodded. "He's seen better days."

Tim turned to him curiously. "Has anyone ever told him that it took Superman to keep Batman from killing the Joker after what happened?"

Dick shook his head. "With how far gone he is he might try to kill Superman and given who trained him. Could very well succeed."

Tim nodded feeling bad for Jason more then anything. The past and present Robin run for the next scream.

* * *

Selina walked and just kept a close eye on her daughter…. Future daughter… some form of daughter. This whole night is just weird. And she thought Gotham set the bar high. "So me and Bruce we actually… settled down."

Helena looked at her mother. Maybe she should have just said Huntress. "Is it really that hard to believe you and Batman can have a kid?"

Selina let out a sigh. "No, I have no problem believing he knocked me up. I have a problem believing he gave up the cowl and I became a civilian and a model citizen at that if you're any indication."

Helena nodded. "I think he was getting older or it got to the point that Alfred finally won one."

Selina looked at her daughter. Only one reason she would be in a cowl. "So either me or Bruce is dead, and given the way you reacted earlier it's more then obvious it's me?"

Helena froze up and stuttered. "I-I…" Selina stopped and just gently rubbed her daughter's shoulders. "A criminal called Silky Cernak blackmailed you into being Catwoman again; your heart wasn't in it which made you sloppy. Things went bad. I stole some your's and dad's old equipment took him down. Been the Huntress ever since."

Selina looked at her daughter and hugged her even if she's not really hers'. When your heart isn't in it that's how you get caught and she wouldn't have gone down without a fight. "Well I'll have a pink slip to file when this is over. I really must have loved the life I had with Bruce to give this up."

"You did. You always told me how blessed ou were to have a clean slate, a second chance." Helena assured her as she fired a crossbow into a demon's knee causing him to fall head first into a trashcan knocking itself out cold. "So who did I get that from?"

"The trick shot your father. The willingness to use something lethal likely came from me." Selena answered easily enough.

* * *

Barbara looked at the mask of the hood. In a way it's like looking at a brother and a stranger all at the same time. Bruce always said Jason was dangerous but she never imagined what he did as the hood could be the results. "Why didn't you tell any of us you were back?"

Jason looked at her for a moment and just kept walking.

Barbara looked at him. "If you can't say that why did you become a killer?"

Jason turned around so they're seriously having a conversation about this right now. "Probably when I saw how broken this system is and obsessed Bruce is with keeping it as is."

Barbara looked at him. "We make a difference… it's not perfect. I admit that."

Jason just leaned on the wall seeing they're not going anywhere for a couple moments at least. "Not perfect is one thing. I can deal with not perfect. Bruce becoming that monster's lawyer to save him from the chamber is as insane as he is." He looked at the girl. "After the grave yards he's filled, everything he's done to us. What he's done to your family how are you OK with that sick bastard breathing and continuing what he does?"

Barbara glared at him. she knew something had to have blown the fuse to make him come out of hiding if he's been alive all this time. Joker was put on death row for something he actually didn't do and Bruce cracked the case and got the right person the date with the gas chamber. She wanted to kill Bruce for saving the Joker but sending Dinah to sing in the Batcave full of expensive equipment worked too as wrong as it might have been. "Not OK, and god help me yes the world would be a better place without him. But once you justify one you can justify them all. As I said, it's far from perfect but it's also a slippery slope. Also we've seen worse then the Joker."

Jason looked at her doubtful in his mind. "Like who?"

"Superman himself." Barbara answered.

Jason looked at her confused. That was the stupidest thing he's ever heard. "Think I would have noticed if Clark of all people started leaving bodies."

Barbara shook her head. "Not our Superman, we learned a little after you died multiverse theory is real. We went to another world where only instead of you Joker went after Lois Lane and Superman's unborn baby. Joker tricked Superman into killing them and all of Metropolis with a nuke." Jason leaned back he remembered what a fake family did to Clark he nearly killed Mongul, god only knows what a real one would cause him to become. "That Superman killed the Joker… and over those five years became more and more of a monster even killing his own friends for not agreeing with him… by the time we met him. He wanted to kill every single person in Gotham and Star City viewing them as ungrateful for his protection."

Jason just stopped any sarcastic retort he had letting those words sunk in. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I'm not giving up on you, none of us are. You're still the same person that poisoned Mongul with the Black Mercy and worked with Superman to remove it and toss him into the phantom zone. I have faith in you Jason." Barbara replied easily as she walked away. "It's the suit I have a problem with."

Jason looked himself over. "Is it the jacket?"

"More like how you emulate its predecessor while you wear it." Barbara countered.

Jason stayed quiet but followed her. Even the ones who died under his 'protection' were drug dealers and then... He just followed behind her.

* * *

Selina just kept walking wither her daughter. "So what college did you go to?"

Helena shook her head. "I'm not having this conversation again."

Selina groaned she already has a feeling she went to Gotham U. "So you do realize two people are watching us right?" She turned around only to see Helena is gone. "Really?" Guess she is Bruce's daughter. Selina looked as two demons came crashing down to the street below followed by Helena as she slid down on an arrow line.

Helena looked at the Billy Idol want to be flanked by a side of demons. "Well even for me these guys are new."

Spike stopped as a metal bird shaped projectile sliced his cheek and hit the wall sticking in it as Dick glided down followed by Tim whom used a grapple. Spike looked at Dick and just shook his head. "Nice hair Uncle Tom."

"Improvement on yours."

Spike turned to the source only to see Batgirl and… some biker. "And who are you supposed to be?"

Jason looked at the vampire pondering the question. He took off the helmet revealing something similar to a robin face in the domino mask. He threw it at Spike's goons as the eyes in the hood started blinking. "I have no friggin idea anymore!"

Spike and the demons were knocked to the floor as the red helmet exploded knocking them down.

Dick let out a smirk and stood ready with a pair of escrima sticks as everyone stood ready. Tim pulled out a staff as Selena readied her whip and Helena held her crossbow ready. Barbara just stood ready with Jason as he pulled out a knife. Helena went right to the one that went after her and hit it in the gut with the back of her crossbow before hitting the demon in the face knocking it out cold. A demon went to blindside the second generation hero only for whip to wrap around its leg. Catwoman tugged and he fell to the concrete floor face first knocking him out. She's starting top think she's as strong as Wonder Woman.

Jason kicked the demon in the head. He took a couple quick swings at Spike whom only dodged each one and threw him into the wall. Jason swung back with the knife and got Spike across the chest but not too deep. Spike's game face came out and he countered with a right hook knocking Jason to the floor.

Jason put a hand. "Wait! You're a real vampire?"

Spike just did a faux curtsy. "In the flesh"

Jason quickly pulled out a gun and shot him in the stomach as Spike fell. "Good cause I'd hate to hear Dick whine about that."

Tim and Dick fought the demons off as a team knocking two unconscious. Dick using his escrima sticks to keep their distance from him. Seeing another three behind Tim he put the sticks together to make a staff and hit all three attackers in the head with it.

Barbara ducked under as the brute of a demon that attacked her left a hole in the wall. She rolled under the next attack. Barbara hit him with a fierce cross and an uppercut. Seeing the demons head sticking up she kneed him in the stomach causing the creature to sneeze on her legs letting mucus out all over them as Barbara instantly fell to the floor.

Jason quickly put the demon in a rear naked choke when to his surprise Dick unloaded on his head with a set of Escrima sticks. "Wow, you almost killed that one."

"Beat the Joker to death for what he did to you." Dick replied leaving Jason stunned for a moment. Bruce brought him back with CPR. He appreciates Bruce keeping him from becoming a murderer on one level. Why is beyond him on another though. He might have willingly taken his lumps for it. With how many people in Gotham Joker's killed he probably would have just got probation anyway even if his life as Nightwing came out.

Spike looked around one cape on the floor and all the demons either dead or unconscious. He quickly grabbed the one on the floor. "So here's how this is gonna go? You either let me go or this one dies."

Helena wasted no time and fired her crossbow hitting Spike in the shoulder. Spike bit his lip to deal with the pain and took the arrow out and left it at Barbara's cheek getting blood on it.

Jason held a gun to Spike as Dick Tim and Jason looked at each other in an unspoken moment.

Catwoman looked at the Robins wondering what the hell are they up to? Knowing Bruce this should be interesting.

Spike looked at them and took his eye off the girl giving Barbara the time needed to grab his hand and smash it into the wall forcing him to drop the arrow.

Spike smiled as his teeth came closer to her neck. "Not bad but I always have my weapon."

Jason quickly lowered the gun. "You also have kneecaps."

"Split the middle!" Dick shouted.

Dick and Tim fire a grapple each one wrapping around Bab's legs as they pulled and spread them out. Spike went for a bite only to have a whip wrapped around his neck being pulled on by Selena and Helena. And what is usually batman with a flash bang is Jason firing into his kneecaps with two shots and one more in the groin Robocop style.

Spike crumbled to the floor releasing Barbara and holding the wounds. "You rye bastards, who does that?"

Jason held the gun at Spike's head but just saw Barbara staring at him with almost pleading eyes begging him not to do it.

To the surprise of everyone for a moment Barbara grabbed the crossbow bolt and jammed it into Spike's heart as the scoobies regained control of their bodies.

Buffy looked around. "So does everyone still remember how to fight?"

"Yeah" Everyone replied.

Buffy nodded. "Good, makes my job much easier." She turned to Angel. "Can you make those glide thingies?"

Angel nodded. She's trying to make him into a literal Angel. Xander cradled up Willow in his arms as everyone walked for Giles to make sure Willow can walk again.

* * *

 **Six Weeks Later**

Jason walked through the slums of Gotham in a gray hoodie hiding his face. Three drug dealers and a pedophile hooker seeker in one night. He really hates this city. He's doing his best for Bab's sake at keeping trash like that beaten but alive and maybe his own but it's getting harder to resist. And at the end of the day the thing he hates the most… Bruce was right. Nothing's changed the dealers he took out were quickly replaced by Black Mask and even without Joker scarecrow's newest version of his fear toxin was still gassing people to death. Jason came to a stop hearing the sound of a round being loaded by a revolver.

"I'll take all your money. Now!"

Jason just let out an unbelieving smile. Is this actually happening? What a moron. "Guess I should be thankful you don't know me huh?"

"Don't be a hero kid."

Jason turned to look at him. "OK even if by some act of divinity you get one by me…" he put his thumb up. "How do you plan on beating him?"

The thug looked up and saw the Batman staring a hole right through him. He quickly dropped the gun and ran in the other direction.

Jason looked at Batman. His interest is piqued. "Haven't seen you since you jammed my gun and you blew up my hand."

"It healed." Batman countered.

Jason looked his former mentor in the eyes. "What the hell are you doing here Bruce?"

Bruce looked at the former Robin. "Following up leads of a vigilante in a gray hood and a domino mask beating on lowlifes in the slums of Gotham."

"I'm trying something new. With what I was taught about civil services as a kid remember." Jason countered. "Don't worry I'd hate to kill one of the villains. Can't have you grow up into a functioning human being can we?"

Bruce simply threw a duffel bag at Jason's feet. He's not ready to talk yet but it's something. "This was yours; I've been hanging onto it for a while. Do what you want with it."

Jason looked at him. "And where are you going?" Jason picked up the duffel and opened the bag to take a look inside.

"I have a date with Selina tonight… I don't want to be late."

Jason's eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, you have a what with anyone?" He looked around and saw nothing and groaned in annoyance. "You can't drop something like that and do the disappearing thing!"

He opened up the bag and pulled out a red and black costume similar to a robin costume. More along the lines of wings on the back then a cape. A utility belt and along with excess space for tools in secret compartments in the gloves and even legs for the sidekick, it's pretty much a functioning suit for another Batman like hero in Gotham. The batarangs, grapples everything a young vigilante needs. He looks at the chest emblem and sees why it looks so much like a robin Costume. "Red Robin, very funny Bruce." He looked at an old picture from a comedy club seeing the clown dressed as the red hood. "Well, I've worn worse."

* * *

 _Xander smiled seeing the end of chapter. "Well that was fun."_

 _"I don't get it when did Robin go evil?" Buffy asked.  
_

 _Xander rolled his eyes. "That's most comics now everyone's either evil or dying, you're really not allowed to have hope anymore for some reason. Kind of surprised Jason went home after Bruce stabbed him in the throat to save the Joker."_

 _Buffy looked quietly at him knowing what resurrecting is like. "I can't really blame him for going off the deep end when he first came back. So should we start the next one?_

 _Willow gave a nod and hit next chapter._

* * *

Author Notes

The Bat Family is owned by DC.

It might look like the story disappears when the next chapter comes up but it will just very very likely be rated M.


	27. The Unexpected Volume 7

A merc looked around Sunnydale in his red mask with white…

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, really, we're doing this again. Gee, it's like the author is running out of ideas at the home stretch. Wade Wilson aka Deadpool aka the Merc with the mouth god's biggest idiot, god's greatest gift to women and the person that just Destroyed Keanu Reeve's only box office record." Wade lifted his mask and looked in a car mirror. "Hey, sure I look like crap but its modest Ryan Reynolds crap. New movie alright let's do this."

* * *

Deadpool roamed the streets of Sunnydale looking for any sign of what's going on. He looked and saw someone familiar fighting a demonic samurai with a katana of his own. A blackish blue suit in an orange mask with only one eye… "Hey it's my brother from another… mother... father… sister… uncle with the bad touch, well this is just confusing." What does Deadpool call Deathstroke?

* * *

Slade Wilson struck with one last slash of his sword knocking him down. He was on his way to finally have his revenge after five years. He wants to know who did this. He looked at the dead demon and focused on the man in red and black. "Can I help you?"

Wade looked at him confused. "Hey! Slade's not Australian."

Slade glared at him. "Well this one is."

Wade nodded must be TV Arrow. "OK, so how about we work together and try to get back to where we want to go."

Slade looked at him if it meant getting back that much earlier to keep his promise. "Fine."

Wade smiled. "Yay, maybe if Colossus sees me he'll get the message he doesn't belong here… but probably not." Wade turned around and smiled a couple quick beat downs and he's back home to Vanessa.

* * *

Slade walked with the similar looking Merc and saw two swords and a hand gun. "Interesting choice of weapons, so what's your story?"

"After Days of Future past I have no idea. But I'm pretty sure I've narrowed it down to the MCavoy timeline now." Deadpool replied before coming to crashing halt. Every once in a while you're due for some overdue luck, and seeing the woman in front of him is proof of that. The long hair the short skirt showing off her legs. "Vanessa" _(I'll make love to you Like you want me to And I'll hold you tight Baby all through the night)_

Slade looked at his alleged partner. ( _Down in the belly of the beast I lie All I save is my... Down in the belly of the beast I lie All I save is my pain._ ) He growled at him and simply shot him in the arm.

Wade shook his arm to getting feeling back in it. "What the fuck! You don't shoot someone when their fantasizing about their favorite girl you Aussie fucking prick! Jesus." Wade used his arm to look at Vanessa like a binocular until the hole closed. "Well at least I found her."

Slade looked at him uninterested. "Good for you."

Wade took a couple steps closer to Vanessa until a group of demons came out looking at Vanessa with clear intentions. Wade took out his two swords. "There's times when you make fucking sick kabobs with Katanas. Your girlfriend being eaten by demons is one of them."

Slade looked at the merc well at least he'll get to kill something. To both of their surprises someone with a green hood dropped down from the roof.

The green cloaked figure quickly pulled out a bow and started firing arrows. Getting the demons in vital spots as they fall down to the floor dead.

Slade looked at the archer in disbelief. _(I'll make love to you Like you want me to And I'll hold you tight Baby all through the night)_

 _(Thank you for being a friend Traveled down the road and back again your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant._ ) Wade hit the stop button on a music box and looked to Slade and saw how love struck he was and smiled. "I knew it; I knew there was something between you and Oliver on the island."

Slade looked at him and simply struck with his back hand with such force Deadpool crashed into a tree impaling himself on a branch. He then promptly crushed the music box wondering where the hell the man in red and black even pulled it out of? Slade just numbly walked for the girl she seems so much more peaceful then she was before.

Wade tried to pull himself from the tree he really needs a way to teleport. "OK this isn't working." He quickly pulled out a gun loaded with cop killer rounds. He promptly shot Slade in the back the bullet going clean through.

Slade fell to his knees but to his surprise the bullet wound was already closing. The Mirakuru was never this good, but he'll take it. He turned around and shot Wade in the head.

Deadpool groaned in pain holding his head. "Ahh, right in the brainpan, damn it!"

Slade groaned he's not the only one with a healing factor. "You don't die do you?"

"No but with my movie property rights belonging to Fox I'm kinda nervous." Deadpool responded. "Same with you actually, freakin DC rules about only one of everyone, multiverse theory exists assholes."

Slade groaned under breath and turned to the girl in the green hood. His Shado.

Shado smiled seeing Slade but the Merc's smile went to terror seeing a black slimy monster moving fast snatching Vanessa with one hand and quickly Shado with the other.

Wade struggled against the tree if one only had a way to… "God damn it. Brain fart on my part." He took one of his swords and promptly freed himself running side by side with Slade. "Come on man that thing took our bitches. Wade Wilson by the way."

"Slade Wilson" The two men ran as fast as they could Slade quikly realized. "We're never gonna catch thing on foot."

Wade kept running for all the good it will do them. "You got a better idea. Oh I know we can ride unicorns against it."

"I got a better idea." Slade grabbed Deadpool and just threw him into oncoming traffic as a blue car slammed into him and came to a stop dragging him underneath and leaving him behind the car his legs bent at unreal unnatural angles.

Principal Snyder got out of the car and swallowed looking at hideous remains of the guy he hit. His care didn't last long however before he was punched in the face by another masked man.

Wade looked at his partner as his bones started resetting. "I should have been let in on the plan."

Slade grabbed what was left of him and threw him in the back before getting in the front and flooring it after the monster. "I meant to throw you at the window but your big ass head pulled you down."

Deadpool just uncomfortably touched his heaad with his hands. "It's not that big."

* * *

Vanessa opened her eyes getting a look at the new surroundings. What the hell did Wade get her into now? Uh she's slimed. She struggled to try to get free. How did she become the damsel in distress again? Damn it! She looked forward and saw… she's going with egg. It's this little yellow thing that's splitting open from the top. She let out a quiet gulp seeing the egg open and a little creature jump at her only to be nailed to the far wall by a small piece of metal that is rapidly melting.

Vanessa turned as the other woman quickly used a similar tiny piece of metal to free herself as she walked over and quickly cut Vanessa free before grabbing her bow and arrows. "Thanks I'm Vanessa."

"Shado" The archer replied thankful whatever the hell took them didn't bother with her flechettes.

Vanessa's eyes widened behind her. She quietly gulped as she looked into the eyes of the monster that took them before. She then smiled seeing a car doing at least 90 coming up fast as She and Shado ran in the other direction as the car's engine melted from the Xenophobe's melted blood as the alien exploded around the car from the impact of the car crash.

Slade got out of the car watching his arm rapidly heal again this is so much more then the Mirakuru what's happening to him. "Hey freak face… you OK in there?"

"Ha.. o… ya… kno… sma hed me…teth… out… I'm fine." Deadpool replied thank god teeth heal.

Slade rolled his eyes. "Some time you're gonna have to tell me what damaged women see in you."

Vanessa glared at the merc and even Shado had the common decency to hide her face at that. Slade was always blunt except for one thing which she really wishes he would have just told her. Vanessa just let out a smirk having an idea.

Slade turned around and walked right into a nine month pregnant Vanessa. "Oh god, he's breeding!"

Wade smiled from beneath his mask "I'm gonna be a daddy… kind of pissed that Francis screwed with my little soldiers… but yay."

Vanessa rolled her eyes as her nine month bump instantly disappeared. "It was a joke Wade."

Wade pointed his finger at her stomach. "What the fuck was that! Fourth wall but why don't I know about this? How did this happen?"

Vanessa shrugged. "That Angel chick held me under water for like a minute and I came out with blue skin and white hair." For emphasis she changed into her blue skinned white haired form.

Wade bit his tongue but no he's him he has to. "So let me get this straight, I get my face caved in to wake up my powers and you… took a bath."

"Apparently" Vanessa answered.

Wade shook his head. "Double standard bullshit. Why am I just learning about this now?"

Vanessa glared at him. "Because you'd ask me to change into Bea Arthur. Am I wrong?"

Wade shrugged not giving her a direct answer.

* * *

Slade looked to Shado and can almost see disappointment in her eyes. "Sad I'm not the kid?"

Shado shook her head. "No, I never blamed Oliver for what happened on the island."

Slade growled at her. "He chose Sara, he left you to die."

Shado shook her head. "No, it was Ivo, all Ivo, if he had aimed the gun at me first Sara would have died in my place. Oliver wasn't the one with the gun."

Slade shook his head. "No, you told me otherwise, I know the truth."

Shado looked at him concerned. Is this a side effect of the Mirakuru "Slade whatever you saw, it wasn't me."

Slade easily nudged the strength of the Mirakuru pushing her back. "I know the truth, I know the truth… I'm sorry Shado."

Shado frowned seeing the kind man she met on Lian You was broken in that purgatory. She looked up as her eyes widened in fear. "Oh my god it's back and it's bigger."

Slade looked up and saw an even bigger xenomorph then before. "Aw hell!" He also kind of let out a smile smiling he's going for the person closest to him. In this case Wade.

* * *

Wade looked up at the monster of a xenophobe with a slimy growl and a harpoon of a tail. The queen of the Xenomorphs dandy and it's after him. "No, no I was already penetrated by a wom…" he went to run but the Alien's tale acted like a spear impaling him on it as he coughed up blood on his mask. "Damn it!"

The Alien stuck both its hands in Wade's wound and proceeded to rip him half at the spine as his legs went flying and his upper body hit the ground.

"Well that went well…" He quickly pulls out two guns and starts shooting at the alien. "Bang bang bang, Van, they took half of me and threw me over here. They took the other half and threw me over there. Can you get the rest of me before I grow little chicken legs?"

Vanessa quickly went running as her body changed into a leopard and bolted for the legs as Shado and Slade held off the alien with arrows and bullets respectively. Shado spotted an opening and let an arrow loose taking the Alien's left eye.

The Xenomorph queen hit her with her right hand knocking her into the wall and out. Slade snarled under mask and took out his sword and just savagely cut into the creature. Vanessa got back to Wade with his legs she left his lower body and took one of his swords. She ran for the creature only to be knocked down in a tail swing.

Deadpool jumped on the creature's back and jumped into the air guns drawn. "Mind the acid honey." He shot the creature a bunch of times in the head only for little drops of acid to fall from the pretty little head shots. Vanessa quickly threw the merc his sword back.

Slade took an assault rifle on his back and rapidly fired at the creature's tail hitting it again and again until it snapped off leaving a trail of acid in its wake. Slade pulled out his sword and cut one of its arms off.

Deadpool hopped off the Queen's head swords drawn as he cut the creature across its cheek. "Hey Slade, I think I know how to beat it."

"If you say stab it I will drill you between the eyes." Slade warned.

"No, slice it and blow the crap out of it." Wade answered as he ran to the xenomorph two katanas drawn. Slade went to the other side with his own sword running straight through it with the Mirakuru taking its leg clean off. Deadpool quickly took the other one as they ran behind the creature and in front of the girls. "Slade! We dislegged her... is that a thing?"

Slade fought the urge to gag and just shouted. "Use your grenades you blabbering oaf!"

Each merc threw a grenade belt at the creature and quickly used their bodies to shield Vanessa and Shadow respectively. The alien exploded in a blaze of glory as acidic chunks and blood rained down on the mercs as Deadpool took the worst of it in much cheaper material.

Deadpool shouted as the acid hit him. "Dah, there goes the kidneys… they're back."

* * *

Deathstroke and Deadpool fall to the floor gasping for breath but still breathing.

Deadpool looked at the merc and sat up joyful. "See Slade, we can do anything by working with each other."

"Just shut the fuck up Wade!" Slade shouted.

Deadpool shook his head. "I did that like seven years ago… a lot of people were pissed off."

Vanessa practically straddled Wade looking any sign of blood loss not believing all he did for her today. "OK, you are so fucking Bea Arthur tonight."

Shado looked at the two disgusted. Slade on the other hand had a smirk as he spoke his realization. "On the other hand if you two are together it will keep you away from other people for all of humanity's sake." Shado gently thumped Slade on the head.

* * *

Shado and Slade looked at their partners for tonight as Wade and Vanessa became a shell shocked Xander Harris and Cordelia Chase.

Cordy pointed at him. "You forget a thing I said tonight." All this sexualknowledge… Jesus what the fuck? Why is she looking at him like that? This is Vanessa's fault, curse the man who burned down Partytown. She pointed at the dweeb. "Just stay away from me."

Xander looked at her imagining many different maybe even against those... bad thoughts. "Yeah like I'd put it where the rest of the football team did."

"Loser!" Cordelia shouted and bolted.

"Village Bike!" Xander shouted and bolted in the other direction ignoring the other two.

* * *

The person Shado was inside looked at the person in Slade. "Village bike, really?"

Slade shrugged. "To be fair." Slade took off his helmet to reveal a Xander Harris that looks like he's in his young 20's except for whiteish sideburns. "I was a younger man."

"And even dumber then you are now." Shado quipped as she took off her gloves revealing a wedding band. She lowered the hood revealing a short blond haired, more developed Cordelia Chase. "And that's saying something."

The future Xander took off his own gloves revealing a matching band. "Very funny, and in sixty years we'll be doing this again… They'll be doing this again… fucking time travel can we get out of here? I want to go home."

Cordy rolled her eyes. "We'll get home when we get home now stop being a whiny bitch."

Xander looked at her with an evil smirk. "Well stick and stones may break my bones but I'll still nail you like a two by four in Buffy's basement in a couple weeks."

Cordy poked him in the gut. Nothing like rapid healing DNA for him and slow to change shapeshifter DNA for her "And this time next year I'll shoot you in the balls with a shotgun twenty two times for what you and skanky the love witch got up to. Just tell me you still have that Mira stuff in you I saw in my vision."

Xander just put his fist through a car door without any pain or regret. "Yeah give me some Japanese iron knuckles and Tertari prince of the Oni won't know what hit him. The Oni's plan will bomb harder then any fantastic four movies, and we both know how bad the last one was."

Cordy nodded. "Then we'll stop by Yvette's before we go home."

Xander looked at her never will he complain about that shop in his youth but. "Why?"

Cordy smiled looking at him. "Because we need new whips and I want to buy a couple fuck swings."

Xander groaned at her. "We have fuck swings at home."

Cordy glared at him. "You're not the one that sits on them… mostly. Besides I haven't found one anywhere near as comfortable since Yvette's got sucked into the crater."

Xander looked at her thankful for Deadboy's premonition of changing the future. He never thought he would inherit Cordy's visions as punishment for working with Wolfram and Hart. One day they're going to have to get the full extent of what Angel did and changed. But in the mean time… "Yvette's is closed till morning."

Cordy smiled as her fingers into talons for lack of a better word as she wrapped her arms around her husband and shredded his shirt and toy armor. "Gee if only there was some way to pass the time."

Xander quickly looked around and remembered Halloween, Vamps night off. No ones going to bother them as he pulled Cordelia to him and kissed her deeply. Cordy quickly deepened it and let out a low moan as Xander's hands went for her shirt and with one pull with the Mirakuru strengty ripped Cordy's shirt clean off. Cordy let out a smile she could get used to the Mirakuru as long as Deadpool's healing factor can keep it in check. Xander turned her around and kissed the back of her neck and breathed on the back of her ear.

Cordy smiled and put her hand on the back of Xander's head and pulled him closer. His hands fondling her body in all the places she loves."Still year of the dog in our time."

Xander smiled and quickly ripped her pants off and gently pushed her down before sighing and turning to the audience. "Sorry guys we're only M, we're pushing it as is and this is about to go far beyond that." He puts his hands on a seemingly invisible wall and pushes it to the right as the picture moves away from him and Cordelia.

* * *

 _Buffy hit pause as the next chapter started and looked to Xander. "Well at least you were right… they stopped it right before it happened. Can't believe you're into that kind of stuff."_

 _Xander gave an innocent shrug seeing the awkward looks of Buffy and Willow. "And why are you looking at me like that. A. That was a me infected by Deadpool so of course I'm a bit unhinged. B. Even if it's hypothetically true. You guys are just as bad as I am."_

 _Willow looked at him. "I am not?"_

 _Buffy nodded in agreement. "I don't even like that kind of stuff."_

 _Xander looked at the two. "Really you're going to take it that far." He turned to Buffy. "Little Miss got caught having sex with Spike and then tried to get him to keep going right in front of me."_

 _Willow's eyes widened at that as she turned to the slayer wanting an explanation to which Buffy meekly replied. "I was invisible. How'd you know… you didn't?"_

 _"I put the pieces together after I found out about the two of you." Xander replied._

 _Buffy groaned should have seen that coming. "Well at least I didn't ruin other people's property like the time I caught you and Anya going on my pommel horse."_

 _Willow looked at the two. "Wow I'm the normal one!"_

 _Xander sighed and looked at her. "So Buff, how many times did you see Kennedy under her Willow tree?"_

 _Willow put her hand up stopping this madness. That was for a spell for god sakes. She needed to talk to Aluwyn for ingredients and couldn't wait. She's imagining Giles would be slamming his head into the wall trying to make the voices stop right about now. "OK, people watching the DVD in here, people talking about anything else, elsewhere."_

* * *

Author Notes

Deadpool is owned by Marvel loved that movie. Arrow is this close to making me say fuck Arrow but it's also owned by DC.

Thank you to everyone for 150 reviews

 _Dude calm down on Arrow. It can come back admittedly dick move but_

Wade, how, never mind

 _You stayed through Xena's bad fanfiction theater of the final season you can make it through this._

Just get out of here.

 _No I think you need to talk about..._

 **Story continuation:** And then for no Reason Deadpool turned into something resembling Baraka and Mileena's lovechild straight down to the two...

 _I'm going, I'm going_

The End. **:** Thanks for reading guys.


	28. Broken

Buffy came into the library as an angry vengeful Giles was slamming books away into their spot on the bookcase. Well someone is not having a good day. She didn't think this was possible. "Getting the feeling that something isn't right."

Giles calmed down seeing his slayer. "The fuhrer Principal Snyder feels like I don't contribute enough to this school. He volunteered me for tonight's Halloween program."

Buffy let out a little smile. "Well at least the rest of us are in good company."

Giles rolled his eyes hearing her quip. This is going to be a long night.

* * *

The Englishman looked around the store and saw a costume that should work for him.

The three scoobies walked up and looked at his costume. Buffy had a smile she's going to have fun with this. "Well, old, crusty, definitely you."

Xander looked a couple costumes over and saw it. Screw going cheap if he has to do this might as well have fun with it. "Oh this works for me. Hail to the king baby."

Buffy rolled her eyes but saw a theme going. "Hey Will, how about this one?"

Willow looked at her with a stern expression. Xander looks at her like a guy with girl parts enough as is. Let's not add fuel to that. "That's a boy Buffy?"

Buffy looked at the hair. "But look at the blond wig."

"It's still a boy." Willow assured her.

Buffy looked at it and took the weapons off the costume. "OK, I got another idea. You two head out me and Willow need some quality girl time."

Xander looked one way as Giles walked for the door the owner is helping Jonathan Levinson while wearing a Madonna wig keeping his head close to the floor. Man really gets in character. Good for him.

* * *

Xander and Giles walked up in costume to Buffy's house. Well if anything else it should be a fun evening. Xander knocked on the door as it opened revealing Buffy in a pink fluffy noblewoman dress.

Xander looked at her and was wondering where was all this talk about Halloween being come as you aren't. Guess she went with it though in this way. "Nice"

Buffy looked at him. "What you don't like it?"

"You pull it off." Xander assured her. "You just don't seem like Buffy in that thing."

Buffy looked herself over in her noble getup. "You know I'm full of class right, could probably have you taken to jail."

Xander looked at her. "I'm king of two kingdoms I outrank you… or is it one… been a while since I've read anything not demon related. Where's Willow?"

"Upstairs looking for something." Buffy replied.

Xander looked up the steps. "So what's she looking for?"

Buffy pulled out a Boo ghost costume from her dress. "Probably this, Willow everyone's here let's go."

"But I can't…"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Willow you'll be fine."

Xander watched as she came down mostly the same hair but in braids a bit at the front. A green dress with a brown top over it a longbow and elven daggers. "Wow, you should only dress like this. Like always."

Willow let out a smile and that was all she needed to hear. Buffy smiled seeing the fruit of her work. Mix and match, worked like a charm.

* * *

Willow opened her eyes on Halloween to new and unfamiliar land surrounded by demons or things quite hideous in nature. She loaded an arrow into her bow and the kids took that as a sign to bolt.

Willow ran down the streets of Sunnydale unfamiliar with what any of this is. She quickly saw a familiar sight of a friend of a friend in a sword fight with a pirate. Willow quickly took advantage of the situation and punched out the pirate. She looked at the guy concerned but happy. "You're a long way from home."

Xander turned around in blunt shock. The man possessing his body figured she would never leave the forest again. "Tauriel, how did you get here?"

Tauriel looked at the bearded man. "Aragorn, how did you come to be here?"

The ranger looked at the girl she followed Legolas a couple times but mostly stays in the forest. He looked at the elf easily as she replied. "I just asked the same of you."

Aragorn gave an honest shrug. He had no idea how he got here. All he knows is shortly after arriving the man with an eye patch started a fight with him and he was oddly happy about knocking him out. "I meant since when do you leave the forest?"

Tauriel glared at him but just kept moving. Legolas brought Aragorn there a couple times but that's all she knew of the ranger.

Aragorn looked into the distance and saw a great flash of light. "Tauriel!"

The red haired elf saw the light and quickly ran ahead, the ranger not far behind her.

Tauriel came to a stop seeing a similar face fighting a pack of miniature demons with his staff. "Gandalf!"

Aragorn jumped into battle sword drawn. Tauriel simply loaded her bow with three arrows and fired two landing on each side of the demons' head and the third just below the groin. Even Gandalf looked away from the sight as the demons fled in fear.

Aragorn put his sword away and calmly walked to the old friend with the appearance of an old man. "Gandalf, do you have any idea how we came to be here?"

Gandalf shook his head. "A wizard usually arrives exactly when he means to. This whole night is troubling for me. Though it is nice to see you finally leave the forest again Tauriel."

Tauriel looked away. "Just until this is fixed Mithrandir. Do you know how to?"

Gandalf pointed the way he was going. "I believe it is this way. Agents of chaos keep throwing themselves to block my path."

Aragorn followed the two. He knows Gandalf has a tendency to come looking for trouble. And if it keeps Tauriel busy and away from the forest he's all for it. It's kind of sad when Thraunduil leaves the forest more then you do. He'd like to know what happened to her that made her like this.

* * *

Gandalf walked the streets of Sunnydale the ranger and the elf right behind him.

Aragorn looked at the elder wizard. He's not going to question the pilgrim. He learned not to do that the hard way. He looked to the female elf. "How come you don't leave the forest?"

Tauriel just stared at him. "Why don't you accept who you are Strider?"

Aragorn looked at her conflicted. "What happened to you at the battle of the five armies?"

Gandalf turned to the two. "If the two of you don't mind I'd like to get to where we need to go.

Tauriel didn't say a word and just followed. She turned to the side and saw a disheartening sight. She ran to the person and jumped on the demon that was attacking a princess type. Tauriel quickly took out her blades and turned into the elven warrior that fought Bolg with everything she had. Without even going for the bow with one well placed kick the demon is on the floor and Tauriel has both daggers at his throat.

Gandalf quickly rushed forward to stop but he's happy to see she's passionate about something. "No Tauriel"

"You know what he was about to do." The elf warned.

Gandalf nodded. "Yes, but he cannot control his actions."

Tauriel looked at him concerned. "What does that mean?"

Gandalf looked at the two hoping he could have stopped this before they caught on. "Everyone out tonight including us seems to be innocent people corrupted by dark magic. I'm on my way to the source to break it, and I can use your help."

Aragorn looked at the wizard for a moment he already knows he's going so that leaves Tauriel. He calmly helped the noble off the floor.

Tauriel looked at the two men and just sighed putting away her blades. "Lead the way Mithrandir."

* * *

The four walked going to a place called Ethan's. Gandalf walked up to the door and heard a chuckle as they all turned around and saw Spike leading a group of demons. Tastiest meat and they barely have to work.

Gandalf looked at the two warriors in front of him. "Hold the line, and feel free to kill the blond one."

"Hey!" Spike shouted.

Aragorn and Tauriel quickly pulled out their bows ready to fight. Tauriel quickly let loose an arrow and Spike exploded into dust as the arrow pierced his heart. Aragorn's arrow hit a demon in the leg. Aragorn and Tauriel switched to their blades as Gandalf went inside.

* * *

Gandalf looked around the Halloween store from the looks of it. This whole night has been weird. Gandalf looked at the totem on the table that must be it.

"Are you enjoying the night on the town old man?" Ethan watched as Giles turned around and his eyes bugged out. He really should have paid attention to what Ripper actually picked but he was too busy hiding. "Oh bugger, I thought someone else went as Gandalf."

Gandalf quickly moved his staff forward in a burst of light and Ethan was just as quickly thrown through a wall and pinned to the next one over. "How many people suffered tonight due to what you've set in motion?"

Ethan let out a cruel smile. "It's what I do."

Gandalf shook his head. "No longer, your powers are broken." Gandalf's staff lit up. "Your magic is broken." The whole store started to shake. "This spell is broken!"

The statue itself started to shake before crumbling apart. Giles turned to glare at his old friend but Ethan took the chance to rush him and then flee through the back door.

* * *

Willow looked at Xander as the spell wore off. That poor woman, stupid elves with no sense of death. Horrible support systems no wonder she never left the forest. She looked at Xander and also took something to heart she learned from Tauriel's life. She quickly grabbed Xander and kissed him deeply catching him by surprise and the 'yucks' and 'ews' of the now children.

Xander looked at Willow when the kiss stopped and Willow was left with the realization that she kissed him and he did nothing. Willow quickly fled embarrassed.

Xander stayed in his stupor till Willow ran. "Hey! Wait, Willow!" He went to run after her but Giles grabbed him. "Let me go!"

Giles shook his head. "Leave her be Xander she has a lot to process. She could have just inherited tens of thousands of years of knowledge."

Xander stopped in his tracks. He's not a fan of this idea but he understands it.

* * *

The next day Xander walked to the library first thing hoping to see Willow. To his surprise he sees a dejected looking Angel leaving the Library like he's been kicked in the gut by a horse. "Hey, dead…"

Angel just shoved him into the wall as the teen went for the dagger now hidden in his back. Angel just let out in a low growl. "Not now Harris!"

Xander just took his hands off the dagger and went for the library. Sadly the only person inside was Giles so he just said. "Good morning G man."

Giles looked at him. He used that nickname again huh. "What do you mean?" He asked. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?" Giles looked at the boy with a smile he's going to enjoy these changes.

Xander looked at him confused "Um… Yes British Mithrandir. So what's up Angel's butt?"

Giles shook his head. "Oh, he's upset that he has to break up with Buffy."

"Why?" Xander asked.

Giles looked at the teen confused he figured Xander would be doing a victory lap right about now. "We just had a long talk about curses. And the main thing about curses being well… they're… I'm afraid they're meant to be broken and if half of what I've read is true Angelus would torture Buffy through her family and she would be ruled by her love for him to not kill him right away."

Xander nodded easily seeing how much pain that would cause. Yeah, better to nip that in the butt right now. "Wow, poor guy… I really just said that didn't I?"

Giles nodded. "Well you did dress as a benevolent king." Xander nodded as Giles walked towards the book cabinet. "And on that note."

Xander watched the doors open and saw a steel sword, two fighting long knives and two longbows. "Whoa, when did you get longbows?"

"I always had them." Giles replied. "But given Buffy's obsession with her social life I quickly realized she would never be seen in public with one. However if you two are going to keep going with her patrolling… every bit counts."

* * *

A little bit later Willow came into the library and saw Xander shooting the target with a bow and although no Aragorn he did find enough of a mark. Willow quietly backed up for the door.

"You know Will, it's a one Starbucks town. We're bound to run into each other at some point."

Willow let out a defeated sigh as she closed the door. "So, um I guess we have to talk. I just…"

"So, how did Tauriel get to be that way?" Xander asked.

Willow frowned but answered. "She fell in love with a dwarf. Dating what daddy hates in middle earth regards."

"All those charming bearded bad boys." Xander replied gripping another arrow. "So what was the lucky dwarf's name?"

"Killi" Willow responded.

Xander let out a sad sigh as he looked at some of the pictures coming together. "And Killi died in the battle of the five armies."

"How do you know that?" Willow asked.

"I read books, sometimes." Xander answered. Where does everyone get the idea he can't. "And after the spell ended."

Willow looked away for a moment but looked at him. "I realized even if I was immortal I might not have forever. I wanted to do that at least once in case I never could again and got scared when you did nothing. I love you Xander." Willow looked at the boy whom was in shock from what she just said. She took the bow off him and loaded her own arrow into the bow and let it fly. To her embarrassment it cleared the target and went into one of the books. "Whoops!"

Xander went and collected what she hit and pulled it out so he could pull out the arrow. She hit one of the reasons why he doesn't read that much. "It's OK Will, Citizen Kane had it coming. All those pages and it was just his damn sled." He quietly went for the bookcage.

Willow let out a smile as Buffy entered the room unnoticed. Xander came out with the lighter bow for Willow Giles brought in.

Xander held out the bow for Willow to use. "Here, let's see what you can do."

Buffy smiled watching Xander get closer and gently holding Willow's hands as she aimed for her target. So Willow isn't living in fear anymore. She's not hiding her feelings which means she'll either get what she wants or Xander will shoot her down. Either way she'll take it.

* * *

 _Xander rolled his eyes in disbelief there's other girls on the hellmouth damn it. "Really, Willow again? I love ya Will but come on."_

 _"Right there with you." Willow replied at least they left it open this time. What she's more interested in is what's on screen now with the next chapter already started. "Is Buffy in jail?"_

 _Buffy's eyes widened. "Give me that remote!"_

 _Xander shook his head and held up the remote over his head. "Not a chance."_

* * *

Author Notes

Lord of the Rings is owned by the Tolkien family.

Tauriel is owned by whoever made her and thanks for wasting a badass female elf in a redundant love triangle.


	29. The Cassandra Truth

Buffy sat in her new home for the foreseeable future. She's been here for three days now. A space almost as small as her surrounded by steel bars and a toilet. Why would her costume do this to her? How the hell is she going to explain this to the cops, damn slayerhood, damn cops, damn grungy guy that convinced her the costume was a good idea, damn day she was born. Maybe she can plead temporary insanity?

She's taken out of her thoughts hearing the main door open coming down was the cop who arrested her along with a… Xander with dyed hair, a leather duster and... Angel in game face, what… What? When did hell freeze over?

The cop looked and saw a three hundred pound mountain of a woman face down on the prison floor. "Miss Summers?"

"Big girl she wanted to prove she was the boss of the new girl Sam." Buffy replied.

Sam nodded. "Well how about next time you just tell us that it was a Halloween photo instead of letting us arrest you."

Buffy smiled seeing her cell door open. She smiled. "No prob, Sam. So, am I free to go?"

"Yes, next time be more careful with what you do, and get help you three have a sick sense of humor." Sam requested

Buffy nodded. "Will do."

* * *

Xander walked out with a smile. "I can't believe that actually worked."

Angel nodded in agreement as he went to human face. "Willow was right just needed some proof and a believable cover story."

Xander nodded feeling like a third wheel as he turned to them. "Yeah well I'm gonna…" He turned and his eyes widened. "Die from the terminator demon and the army of bug men!"

Angel immediately pulled his game face out one of these look like they can beat Buffy on their own she's gonna need help. "Who the hell are you guys?"

The bug men looked at their opponents. "The blessed devourer said she would return to us if you die, so you die."

Xander looked at them. "Well we don't die easily. And we have a…" He turned to Buffy and just sighed seeing her messing with her cell phone. "A slayer too busy to look at what's in front of her?"

Buffy just held up her finger at the insects.

Xander rolled his eyes in disgust. "OK we're just waiting till she's done."

Skip looked at the sight not sure what to make of it. Slayers are supposed to be a lot more dedicated then this.

* * *

 **Two Days Ago**

Buffy stared at the dress in wonder. She's never seen anything so beautiful before.

"You're actually planning to go out in something like that?" A small man in a hat and scruffy clothes asked.

Buffy turned to the man. "What, it's beautiful."

The man shook his head. "Seems kind of pathetic in a place like this."

Buffy looked at it. "Well I think my boyfriend will love it."

The man looked her over. "I saw you last night for a cameo at the Bronze didn't I. You were staring at that guy with the giant forehead weren't you?"

Buffy looked away uneasy. "It's not that big besides he seemed to enjoy the rich women."

The man let out a small laugh in amusement. "Not really, after you left he just kind of kept looking at her neck. It got weird fast. See ya around kid."

Buffy did her best to cover her laugh but funny thoughts… bad thoughts but also funny thoughts. She looked at it and gave it a pass. A 17th century was just 17th century TV dinner for Angel. She saw a different costume that looked like riot gear with sunglasses, a baton and two guns. This is her. Besides he's dating a slayer odds are Angel likes Amazons and champions.

* * *

That night the spell took hold Willow in her ghostly form quickly found Xander. Ok with him found that leaves Buffy.

She quickly found her answer as Buffy was punching her way through a small army of demons as they fled in the other direction. Willow watched as one last demon went to take a swipe. The slayer simply split her legs like it was second nature and punched the creature in the dick. Buffy straightened her legs back and stood on her feet taking one of the pistols off her back cracking the demon in the head with it and knocked him out cold.

Willow looked at her in awe. "Buffy, how did you do the split thing?"

Buffy looked at the redhead. "Who's Buffy?"

Willow looked at her startled and in no mood. "You're Buffy!"

"No, I'm Cassie!" The blond girl replied.

Willow sighed oh joy more of this. "No, I was a ghost for Halloween... and now I am a ghost and you're Buffy; you're just dressed as Cassie. It's this whole Halloween thing."

Cassie rolled her eyes in annoyance. "No Cassie! My name is Cassie and if you don't knock it off I'm going to kick your ass."

Willow looked at her resisting the urge to rip her hair out in frustration. "You know what if you can land a punch on me, we'll follow your lead if we can't we do it my way."

Cassie looked at her she'd rather not hit the idiot but if it gets her out of the way. Cassie throws a punch and Willow just stands there as the younger Cage falls right through the ghost and to the floor. "OK, you're a ghost, I'm willing to listen."

Willow looked at her. "Let's just go to Giles first he'll know how to get you home."

Cassie nodded and Willow saw the looks Cassie was giving Sergeant Harris. This isn't good. Change the subject. "So Cassie, any boyfriends back home."

Cassie looked at her for a moment. "Dad doesn't like them. Thought that there might be something with Jin but let's just say I'm not his type and leave it at that."

* * *

Giles sat enjoying a quiet night until Willow walked right through the wall as his papers scattered to the air. The Englishman looked at her nervously. "Willow, what's going on?"

Willow waited as Cassie and the soldier stepped through the door. "I was kind of hoping you can tell me?"

Giles leaned back and listened to the craziest thing he has ever heard. And in this town that is definitely saying something. "So let me get this straight?" Giles asked for clarification as an annoying pop was heard. "Everyone went as their costumes… and became their costumes." Another pop was heard in the library.

Willow nodded trying to channel out the noise as the pop appeared again. "Yeah Xander was a soldier." Pop "and Buffy was…" Pop.

Giles turned to the slayer and barked. "An annoying bint familiar to Cordelia whom is about to be staked if she doesn't stop chewing that bloody chewing gum!"

Cassie stopped and put a napkin to her mouth as she spat chewing gum into it. "Sorry, if this is all magic how come you remember who you are and we don't?"

Willow shrugged innocently. "I'm a ghost, in this case the ghost of me."

Cassie shrugged. "So everyone is in a costume… it never occurred to you to look at the costume shop?"

Willow shook her head and thought about it. "It's some new place I don't remember what it's called."

Cassie thought about it for a moment. "Well why don't we just check the tags?"

Willow looked at the blond in glasses. "Tag?"

Cassie looked at the ghost. "Well, you were never a girly girl in your whole life. We girls hide tags on crap we can't afford to take it back or in my case destroy evidence before dad finds out what I brought."

Willow looked herself over but quickly realized her tags would be on her boo! Xander looked at his clothes but not tag. Cassie felt around and smiled feeling it.

Cassie nodded it's just her. "I got one. The boys need to turn around because if they peek I'm going to punch them in the nuts so hard they'll burst into bits."

Giles and Xander shared a collective wince as the soldier asked. "Is that an actual possibility?"

Cassis smiled undoing the zipper in front of her. "You want to keep staring and find out?"

Xander quickly turned his head as did Giles whom even took off his glasses to clean them.

Cassie undid her top and looked herself over, they shrunk. She grabbed the tag and she guesses the witch was right. "The place is called Ethan's. So how do I get my own body back this is weird?" She swiftly zipped herself back up. "Thanks guys you can turn around now."

Soldier Xander turned back and saw Willow looking at Cassie. "You ok Red?"

Willow nodded she wasn't gawking. "I'm fine."

Willow was brought out of whatever the hell that was by Angel coming through the door like a maniac as he practically screamed as he raised his voice and said."Guys something horrible has happened."

Willow rolled her eyes. "We know, follow Buffy..." Cassie cleared her throat. "Follow Cassie."

* * *

Cassie led the group heading to Ethan's costume shop as they walked the streets of Sunnydale. Cassie looked to see a blond in a black duster leading a group of mini demons. The brash young woman lowered her glasses just to make sure she's seeing this right. "Is there an Outworld babysitting part of the Reiko accord that I'm not in on?"

Willow shook her head. "Nope, just demons."

Cassie nodded and looked at her opponent he seems to be extra interested in her. "Billy Idol is a demon?"

Spike glared at the slayer. She's weaker he can smell it. "He stole that look from me."

Spike threw a punch that Cassie quickly dodged. Cassie went for a punch that Spike just grabbed her and threw her to the wall. Cassie ran again and went for a couple kicks that the vampire easily dodged. "Weak, pathetic, just a human… I love it."

Xander quickly used his rifle to pull Spike off but the vampire just backed his head up wobbling the soldier with a headbutt. Cassie went to help with a couple kicks that the vampire dodged easy enough.

Spike punched the blond in the gut followed by a spin punch and a kick to the ribs knocking her down to her knees. "Come on blondie, I take on slayers for a challenge do you think you can beat me in a fair fight?"

"No, gonna cheat." Cassie replied easily enough as she pulled out a gun and shot Spike in each knee causing the vampire to crumble to his knees. Cassie reached into her side and pulled out an extendable steel baton. Cassie walked to Spike and clubbed him across the face so hard that his jaw practically broke in half leaving just half of it attached to his face.

Xander Willow, Giles, and Angel each looked away in horror and disgust at the sad gurgles of noise made out of the half of Spike's jaw that was still attached.

Angel looked away even Angelus would likely be sick. "For god's sake Buffy stake him."

Cassie grabbed Spike by the back of his head and just held out her phone taking a selfie of the two as the demons fled in fear. Angel quickly grabbed the nearest stake he could find and put his grandchilde out of his misery.

* * *

An hour later Buffy left with a smile from Ethan's finally back in control of her own body followed out by Willow. That was purely barbaric. She smiled until she saw the sirens coming ever closer to her as two cops got out of the car. "Is there a problem officers?"

The cops wasted no time leaving no chance of Buffy getting the jump on her as they turn her around and get cuffs on her. "Buffy Summers you are under arrest for murder!"

Buffy's eyes bugged out. "What the hell did I do?!"

The other officer pulled out her phone and showed her Cassie's selfie still posted on her facebook. "Does that answer your question?"

Buffy's eyes bugged out not good. Especially with Spike as an ashtray filler while she is being thrown into a squad car. "Well that's... he's just... Willow get Giles! Get Giles!"

* * *

Back in the present Xander looked at Buffy still messing with her phone. "Are you done yet?"

Buffy hit delete getting rid of that damn picture once and for all. "Am now!" She broke away running for Skip when to the surprise of Angel and Xander a green glow surrounded her as she shoulder charged Skip and the metal demon flew through the air and into a car with such impact it dented around him.

Xander turned to Angel with a smile. "Force the relationship, I dare you."

* * *

A power that was planning to conquer Earth in a few years watched her prototypes and Skip being tore apart by a glowing green warrior. That magic is powerful and long since thought dead. What did Whistler do? The slayer was supposed to just be a scared girl tonight. If she figures out how to harness that power she'll be able to kill the powers that be themselves. She can put a hold on her plan for a hundred years... for now.

* * *

 _Buffy took a breath of relief as the chapter came to an end. She knew she wouldn't have been in jail without a good reason. "See, hardly a crime to kill Spike."_

 _Xander looked at her. "Then why did you try to stop me from doing it after Anya?"_

 _"Complications." Buffy answered. "Like the frat boys."_

 _Xander just stopped in his tracks as Willow hit play on the next chapter. "When this is over I want a picture of one jawed Spike."  
_

* * *

Author's notes

Thanks for the reviews

MKX is owned by Netherealm Studios


	30. Brain and Braun

Willow ran to her child hood best friend thankful to find someone else she knew tonight. "Xander thank god."

Xander turned and looked at her confused. "Who's Xander?"

"You're Xander." Willow pointed out.

Xander shook his head. "No, I'm Ronnie."

Willow shook her head. "No, no, I dressed as a ghost and now I am a ghost. You dressed up as an athlete to mock Larry and now I guess you're really an athlete."

Xander looked at her in confusion. "OK, the sad thing is I've seen enough to crazy things tonight to think you're not crazy. So what should we do?"

Willow smiled she gained one ally. "We just have to find…" Her eyes widen in relief seeing her. "Buffy!"

Willow ran after the slayer followed by Ronnie and saw a pair of demons going after the slayer. "Buffy what do we do?"

Buffy promptly fainted.

Ronnie looked at the passed out noble woman as he picked her up for a bridal carry. "This was your big idea!"

"Just help her up and follow me!" Willow ordered as Ronnie lifted her bridal style. Ronnie ran fast Buffy in his arms as Willow lead them to Buffy's house.

* * *

Later that night Cordelia walked for Buffy's house in a somewhat sense of relief. She was chased by Jojo the dog faced boy earlier. Until a stray baseball from Giles knocked it out cold. She doesn't know what's wrong with the watcher or that creepy look with the glasses but it can't be that bad because he led her to Buffy's house. Since she can't find Buffy this is probably the second safest place in Sunnydale.

Cordy looked at him. "OK, librarian man we're at Buffy's house now. You want to tell me what we're doing here."

Giles looked around. "I'll know when I see it."

Cordy looked down at a picture of the three dweebs. Knowing them they're probably right in the middle of it. Giles came in and saw Cordy looking at the picture.

Giles saw who she's looking at. "Do you like that boy?"

Cordy shook her head. "What are you kidding me, I mean look at the way he's dressed, he's poor I'm rich what would we have in common?"

Giles looked at her. "Yes, I forgot, opposites are indifferent to each other."

Cordy sputtered to think of an insult to him back. "W-w d-did you find what you're looking for to help put a stop to this?"

Giles shook his head. "No, already on the move. As we should be before something sees us again."

* * *

Buffy looked around panicked in the street she wants her hand maidens and her servants and her palace. She wants to go home. She turned the corner and walked right into a pirate who pinned her to the wall in a perverse smile until Ronnie ran full steam from behind and tackled the pirate to the floor.

Buffy clung tighter to the wall seeing Angel walk out behind him and try to approach her. "No, no stay away from me."

Ronnie hit the pirate in the face two more times for good measure before switching to his good hand and knocking him out in one punch. "Its weird beating that guy up gave me a weird sense of…" Ronnie is cutoff by a blur of the noblewoman leaning in and holding him tighter. "OK what I miss?"

"He's a vampire." Buffy informed him.

Ronnie looked at Angel it would explain how easily he found her. "OK well even if he is. I wouldn't have found you in time without him. So I'm asking you to trust me by trusting him OK."

Buffy nodded as the three were cut off form any further conversation by Willow running down the block frantic. "Guys, I can't find Giles, Spike, big trouble, get inside now!"

Angel saw the vampire approaching and quickly grabbed Buffy in a bridal carry Ronnie right behind him as they quickly get indoors but not quick enough as the demons break through Ronnie flips one over him and two of the mini demons tackle him and hold him down as the bigger ones hold down Angel.

Spike entered with a smile looking at Buffy "Look at you, scared, pathetic, helpless, I love it."

* * *

Giles walked up to the sight of an unconscious pirate. What a weird night this has been he'd love to write notes about it. He looked a couple blocks down and there's what he's looking for.

* * *

Willow ran at Spike and instead of hurting him she ran right through him. "I can't posses a vampire can I?"

Spike looked at her with a smile impressed by the effort. "It's not looking like it red."

Willow turned around to her surprise saw Cordelia behind Spike. "Cordy what are you doing here?"

"We're here to save you." Cordy said as she walked in followed by Giles and a bunch of other demons. "But they're very sneaky."

Spike smiled and knocked Buffy down with a backhand smack, inching closer to the girl with his game face out.

Ronnie and Giles looked at each other and each share a nod. Ronnie stopped resisting the demons as they let him go and turned to Angel. "This is your fault! I should have known better then to trust a vampire!"

Angel looked at the boy. Xander can't be this petty. Their concern should be saving Buffy. "Are we really doing this now?"

"Why not we're gonna die anyway!" Ronnie shoved him back into the wall. Angel looked at the boy and saw Giles silently sneak back a couple centimeters so he'd be in his path. Angel caught on and quickly pushed the boy towards Giles with a bit of strength.

Ronnie went towards Giles direction his hand held out and when the two hands hit both men disappeared in trail of fire and once it faded what remained was a Xander with pure white orbs his head and hands on fire.

Ronnie looked as Angel backed up. "It's a long story man." (One best saved for later Ronald, the girl.)

Ronnie quickly turned to Buffy and Spike and shot a small fireball at the vampire that he never saw coming as he combusted to ash. "Don't call me Ronald."

Angel looked at Xander nervously. "I didn't."

"I wasn't talking to you." Ronnie assured him as the fire went out and he helped Buffy up.

(Ronnie the other demons!)

Ronnie shot a trail of fire drawing a line between the scoobies and the demons as Cordy and Angel watched jaw dropped as through their eyes Xander started to hover over the ground and fly. Ronnie glared at the demons and warned them. "If you don't start running I'm gonna start shooting!"

At his words all the other demons fled into the night leaving the others alone.

Ronnie floated down and smiled taking this opportunity to look at Cordelia for the first time tonight. "Hello!"

(Perhaps at a more appropriate time Ronnie.)

Ronnie smiled surrounded by a burst of flame until Ronnie walked out one side and Giles the other, each perfectly fine.

Angel looked at them too baffled to make sense of anything. "B-b-how?"

Willow looked at the two Giles was forced into this by Ms. Calendar so he went as a scientist. But that sure don't explain this. "Who are you two?"

Ronnie smiled and introduced himself. "I'm Ronnie Raymond." He pointed to Giles. "And that Grumpy old man is Dr. Martin Stein."

"I'm not old my boy. I'm just older then you."

Willow looked at the two. "OK, so can I ask how Cordelia is still herself? Why isn't she a cat?"

Cordy looked awkwardly at the redhead. Why would she be a cat? "Why would I be a cat?"

"You dressed as one." Willow pointed out.

Cordy nodded looking at her costume specifically the holes on it. "Yeah, you think Party town will give me my deposit back?"

Willow rolled here eyes, and there it is. "Do you think you two can go to Ethan's costume shop and burn it to the ground? It should break the spell and get two of you home."

Stein took Ronnie's hand and became Firestorm again as Ronnie replied as leaving a trail of fire behind him. "Yeah, no problem."

* * *

Ten minutes later Xander and Giles are staring at their handiwork as the store burns to the ground,

Xander looked at the last of it topple down. "Well that was fun."

"Yes, although I wish I could have told Dr. Stein to tell Ronnie just to burn the um statue. Now we have no lead as to where this Ethan is." Giles replied.

Xander looked at him yeah Ethan's a piece of crap that little snot is gonna… wait why is he so angry he was having fun a second unless this is… uh oh. "Ah Giles, can you give me a high five?"

"Why?" The watcher asked.

Xander glared at him. "Just do it."

Giles did as commanded and both men disappeared in flame. Xander looked at his now burning hands and could only reply. "Oh Sh…" (Bloody hell!)

Xander just flew for the others this is worst then Ronnie having a thing for Cordy. I mean she's beautiful but… uhm. "Can't believe he had a thing for Cordy" (You know if you have a crush on…)

"I am not having this conversation with you!"

(Well if you need someone to…)

"I will nickname us Zero G-"

(Don't you dare!)

* * *

 _Xander hit pause in terror. "Dear god I'm linked… to Giles… just wrong man"_

 _Buffy smiled. "I don't know I wouldn't have minded having some help from a human torch and knowing you and Giles could look out for yourselves."_

 _Willow looked at him with a smile. "Yeah now you're Super Xander just as you always wanted. Hey maybe this is like a movie in and of itself."_

 _Xander had an evil grin. "It's so cute you think the yellow crayon is the worst I have on you."_

 _Willow swiftly hits skip chapter._

* * *

Author Notes

Thanks for the reviews

Firestorm is owned by DC comics


	31. Throw the Dog a Bone

Xander looked around he just had to wish for a new principal. Yeah sure he's glad Snyder's gone but he didn't expect the new guy to make the Halloween babysitting program mandatory. So here he is actually looking for a real costume, but at least in exchange for this the 40 hours of community service needed for graduation was dropped to 35.

* * *

Buffy pouted with a sigh seeing another girl grab the noble woman get up. Well, what is she supposed to be now? She turned to Willow seeing she had a costume already. "So what you get?"

"A time honored classic" Willow replied holding out a ghost costume. She looked and saw Buffy's sad face. "Not spooky enough?"

Buffy let out a weak sigh. "You're never going to get noticed if you keep hiding. You're missing the point of Halloween."

"Free candy?" Willow offered.

Buffy looked at her in disapproval. "It's come as you aren't night. A perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild with no consequences."

Willow looked at the slayer nervously. "Oh, that's just not me."

Xander looked around and saw a costume that will work for him. Now how does he get Willow and Buffy into the other two? "Hey guys what about these?"

Buffy smiled seeing them. "Well, that's a lot of black. Although the one in the middle definitely seems Willow's style."

Willow shook her head. "No, emphatically not."

Xander looked at her. He'll get her out of the ghost get up yet. Especially with Buffy backing him up. "Shame, I think you'd look great in it."

Willow looked away. "Well I don't see Buffy all that comf…" Willow let out a quiet gasp seeing Buffy grab the gun and the costume on the left. "Why?" Willow just grabbed the other one seeing resistance is futile. This is going to be a weird night.

* * *

Willow let out a sigh bringing an end to her night. So far so good with the exception of one small guy no one really seemed to notice her. Mainly because she never left Buffy's line of sight so you couldn't see her without looking at the much more comfortable in skin tight black Buffy. Willow watched as the kids literally turned to demons. Willow closed her eyes as her costume took over. Willow looked at the demons and went in the other direction. Too many for her to fight on her own.

The demons chase after her as Willow took a right and ran into the alley throwing a group of metal circular things behind her. All the demons turned right and went right for Willow only to be knocked down by an electric attack.

Willow took a breath of relief. She can't count how many times those little devices have worked. She smiled with a smug smile taking a walk only to see a seven foot demon. Now this guy. Willow went for her two guns as to the surprise of human and demon a truck ran down the demon and Willow smiled seeing her best friend behind the wheel.

Xander quickly opened the passenger door and shouted. "Get in!"

Willow just walked to the car and waited till they were driving skimming past demons. "What have you got yourself into this time Clint?"

Clint Barton shook his head. "Hey this isn't me Nat. I was making a man cave and then this happened I came to with an old woman handing out toothbrushes."

Natasha looked at him. "Mancave?"

Clint looked at her and side swiped a demon with the car knocking it out. "Hey, I'm married with two children both girls I need my personal space."

Natasha shook her head in disbelief. "Yeah, like you and Laura aren't going to have another kid. Besides you have an entire secret government agency to get away from it all."

Clint looked at her. No more kids he's already got 2. "We haven't recently. We're good on kids."

Natasha only put her one finger up in response, a quiet one more.

Clint looked at her he's half done the man cave already. Can't his partner just let him finish. "We are not having another kid. We'll name it after you if we do."

"Deal" Natasha replied with a smug smile. That was quickly undone when Clint made a hard U-turn taking down a tree like demon and speeding up in the other direction. "What are you doing?"

Clint pointed ahead seeing a blond woman fighting a demon hand to hand. "Another agent?"

* * *

Natasha looked ahead and saw someone who definitely shouldn't be here. "I thought she was supposed to be on Rogers?"

Clint looked at her. See this is why his family is kept private, to avoid insanity like this. "You'd know better then I would."

Clint stopped in front of the young agent as she knee capped the vampire that went towards her with a gun from her thigh holster causing the archer to reply. "Nice shot"

Sharon Carter lowered the gun and saw the two agents Hawkeye and the Black Widow. "Is that two of the Avengers… looking to help little old me... what no aliens this week?"

Natasha looked at her. "Aren't you supposed to be on fossil detail? Maybe get him out of his house."

Sharon glared at her. "He's shy. I was playing Nurse Kate and woke up in this. So please tell me there are actual Avengers here?"

Natasha shook her head. "Right now just us, get in."

Sharon quickly hopped in the car "So where we going?"

"Tell you when we find out." Clint assured her.

* * *

Clint drove through the streets seeing the chaos. What in god's name happened here? Clint looked ahead and let out a smile in disbelief. "The boss is here."

Clint stopped in front of a black bald man in an eye patch. "Director"

Fury looked happy to at least see some people here. "Romanov in the front, Barton in the back deal with the pursuers"

Clint rolled his eyes and hopped in the back. So much for his time off. "Yes sir"

Sharon sat in the back working on the phone. "Every single number doesn't work sir. Only one even connected to someone. Tom… he's from South Jersey."

Fury rolled his eyes. "Just a little help please!"

* * *

Sharon turned to the side apparently they're in some town in California called Sunnydale. This whole night has made no sense to her. She looked out the window and to her horror saw a truck doing at least 80 miles per hour coming after them. "Hey, you need to floor it now!"

Natasha saw the truck and quickly shifted to gear as Clint quickly fired a couple arrows through the truck window.

Clint looked in confusion as the driver just kept going approaching 90. He never misses how is he still going? "What the hell?"

Sharon rolled her eyes. She was just supposed to flirt with her new neighbor. Not be in DCone second and California the next. "Hang on this is going to be bad!"

The truck collided with the agents of SHIELD sending their vehicle upside down and sliding and grinding down the road.

* * *

Spike got out of the truck with a smile that would likely have to be surgically removed. "Well, that was fun." He waits as three other demons get out of the truck. Dru told him to take the slayer and her friends by surprise. He's pretty sure that counted. "Take them all save the slayer for me!"

The demons ran to the truck and found nothing in it.

Spike looked around how… how did they get away that quick? "Find them!"

* * *

One of the demons wondered through the alley. It should not be this hard to find a small group of four humans.

The demon looked under the car but there was no sign of them. He turned around and quickly got hit with an arrow in one leg and a bullet in the other as he fell to the floor.

Sharon quickly kicked the demon in the face to the confusion of Clint.

The archer could have sworn she was just a mole sent to spy on Steve. "OK, where did you even have that gun?"

"Thigh holster" Sharon answered easily enough.

Clint looked at her confused. "Who got you that?"

"It's a long story." Sharon replied.

* * *

Spike watched the slayer and one of her chipettes fight a demon and knock it out cold. Spike looked at two demons go the other way and although he doesn't see it they're both laid out on the floor twitching with blue devices shocking them.

Spike looked around and quickly dodged a shot of light that hit a mini demon that had him twitching. Spike watched as Natasha ran out and quickly tried to hit him with a hurricarana but with vampire Strength he easily kept Natasha on his shoulders and just threw her at the truck hard knocking her out when the back of her head hit steel. He saw what was coming and easily ducked avoiding two shots from Sharon. Spike quickly took off his black leather duster he hates the idea of getting holes in it but there's at least three people here. Besides she's the slayer anyway so totally worth it.

Sharon got closer looking for the last demon. She aimed but only saw an unconscious Natasha as black leather covered her eyesight. Spike rushed her with one quick shot to the gut knocking her back as Sharon pushed the leather aside. She aimed but Spike quickly moved at vamp speed with a growl pushing the gun aside and kneeing the agent in the gut followed by one punch to the head wobbling Sharon and knocking her off her feet.

Spike growled looking at her. "Not as helpless as I thought." He quickly kept kicking her in the ribs a couple times as Sharon coughed up blood. "But it will do." He quickly knocked her out with one punch to the head knocking her out. "I'm really going to AH!" Spike fell to his knees and felt two arrows in his back. "Bloody hell!"

Spike pulled the two out and looked at Clint bow in hand. William the bloody rolled his eyes in annoyance and a smirk in game face. "Thought you were gonna kill me were you?"

Clint looked at him. "Have a feeling we might be having a different story if these were wooden arrows." He quickly loaded in two more arrows.

Spike looked at him. "You're gonna miss."

"I never do." Clint fired and Spike easily caught each arrow.

"You were saying?" Spike quipped as the two arrows started blinking fast and blew up in his face in a small explosion as Clint's bow turned into a staff.

The two quickly ran at each other Clint taking a swing Spike quickly ducked under a swing as Clint jumped over his attempt at sweeping his legs. Spike grabbed Hawkeye's staff but Clint turned him around and put the vampire in a chokehold with his bow.

Spike looked dumbfounded for a second this must be second nature to him. Fortunately for the vampire he doesn't breathe and just uses the close proximity to bury his elbow into Clint's liver causing the involuntary muscle response to force him to let the vampire go.

Spike quickly kicked him in the stomach and finished it up with a roundhouse to the head knocking him out.

Spike turned around and quickly walked into a headshot by Fury. Fury rushed him with a limp and pistol whipped him in the head knocking him down. Spike got his hand up and quickly blocked the next shot. It's a shame these guys were injured in the car wreck he would have loved to have fought them in their prime. He delivered to knees to the gut and a punch to the face knocking him out cold.

Spike turned back to the downed slayer but was quickly shot in the back. He turned around with a growl and saw Natasha back on her feet Sharon's pistol in hand. Spike quickly rushed her and knocked the gun out of her hands. Natasha quickly used whatever she could with punches until Spike was able to grab each hand and squeeze down as Natasha was forced to drop her guns under vampire strength but still pushed forward with a headbutt wobbling Spike. Spike went to retaliate with a headbutt of his own until Natasha leaned back and when Spike's head fell forward bit him at the throat trying to rip something open.

Spike growled and grabbed the spy by her hair and flung her at the car hard enough to leave the slightest trace of a dent on it as Spike fell to his knees exhausted. Spike looked down and smiled.

He beat them all and now to make it even worse Natasha is a tired and beaten Willow again. Ignoring her for the time Spike got back to his feet and went for the now barely moving Buffy and an unconscious Xander.

Buffy looked up at Spike. The vampire practically crippled her with those shots to the ribs she can't get up. Buffy quickly crawled for Xander's quiver and grabbed an arrow. "Stop right there Spike. I've already won."

Spike smirked. "And how's that pet? You can't even stand let alone stake me."

Buffy tightened her grip. "I don't have to stake you to kill you. I turn this arrow on and I level the whole block."

Spike looked at her ordinarily you could dance to a heartbeat but Slayers keep theirs calm and focused as always. "You're bluffing. You're not that suicidal."

Buffy shook her head. "I was warned that the Master would kill me if I went after him and I did it anyway. Do I look like a girl that thinks ahead?"

Spike looked at the bag start to blink like crazy and backed away. "Another time slayer"

He walked away and easily took the jacket from the person dressed as Fury and calmly left.

Buffy waited until Spike was gone and took a breath of relief. She pulled out the flashlight and finally hit the off switch, "Thank you for the lying skills Sharon." She leaned back against the car and saw to her surprise the new principal talking to Willow getting her up. "Principal Woods?"

The new principal at Sunnydale high simply nodded. "Yeah"

Buffy looked at him confused. "Why did you fight so hard for a stupid jacket?"

Woods shook his head. "I know that jacket. Also I think we need to have a long talk."

"About what?" Buffy asked.

Woods looked at her. "About how you're the slayer. And maybe how to update your arsenal with some things like Shield uses. "

Buffy gave a weak nod. "Sounds good" She collapsed to the floor. "Not now though… later."

* * *

 _Xander watched in disbelief. "You know it's a shame all these archery lessons don't add up. At this point I'd pretty much be unstoppable."_

 _Willow looked at the screen. "I can't believe we lost… well them not us."_

 _Buffy nodded. "Well he killed two slayers before me and as that car wreck before the fight even started showed Spike was far from a conventional demon." Buffy looked on and saw Cordy front and center on the next story so hit skip but no go. "Guys, last chapter."_

 _Xander nodded. "Good we're going on four hours now."_

 _Buffy looked at the screen. "Huh, felt a lot longer then that."_

* * *

Author Notes

Thanks for the reviews

SHIELD is owned by Marvel


	32. Have We Been Here Before

Buffy is currently on cloud 9 today. Halloween according to Giles is the one night of the year where it's her guaranteed night off. She comes in and sees Ms. Calendar here along with Xander, Willow, and of course Giles. Buffy rested back without a care for once in her life it was good to be her.

Buffy watched as the doors to the library opened as Snyder walked in with Cordelia and a very small bald guy. Hey, someone's shorter then her. She sees Snyder with that evil smile on his face he has something for her as she loudly thought to herself. 'DAMN YOU MURPHY!' "Principal Snyder what can we do for you?"

"Miss Summers. Just the juvenile delinquent I've been looking for. Halloween must be a big night for you. Tossing eggs, keying cars, bobbing for apples, one pathetic cry for help after another. Well, not this year, missy.

Willow and Xander stay seated behind her. Willow looked at the little guy concerned. "Jonathan what happened to your hair?"

Jonathan looked away embarrassed. It was Harmony Kendall looking like she was going to kiss him. "Bubble gum accident leave it at that please."

Buffy looked at Snyder. Not even on her night off Dawn's trick or treating in LA with her dad this is her absolute only night off. "Gosh, I'd love to sign up, but I recently developed carpal tunnel syndrome, and can tragically no longer hold a flashlight."

Snyder holds up a clipboard and pen. "The program starts at six; the children have to be back at eight."

Buffy reluctantly grabs the pen and clipboard and signs herself up. Xander thinks it's funny and smiles back at Willow. Willow has a concerned look on her face. Snyder holds pens out to Willow and Xander, too. They both look at him, begging not to be put through this. Willow gives in and takes the pen.

"Whatever happened to detention?" Xander asked upset he has no money for this.

Cordelia looked at him. "Don't bother I already tried every excuse in the book."

Xander glared at the principal before relenting and taking the pen and signing his name.

Giles and Jenny's eyes widened seeing the pens put in their faces.

Snyder smiled seeing the two any shot he can take at the librarian. "Given Mrs. Summers past I can't trust her alone unsupervised. Also I'm sure the school board would be interested in what we pay you for."

Giles glared at him before signing. Jenny following suit since she could not afford for people to find out Jenny Calendar doesn't actually exist with a background check.

Snyder looked at the list. "Good, now we just need one last adult chaperone."

Xander smiled he might be stuck in this but on the bright side he can take someone down with him. "I can get my cousin to do it… He loves kids."

Snyder handed him the sheet and Xander filled in the name ignoring Willow's jaw hitting the floor and a death glare from Buffy that would send most vampires pissing their pants in fear. Snyder took the clipboard and smiled. "Angel Harris… alright. The event is from six to eight and costumes are mandatory."

Buffy waited until Snyder was out the door before lunging at Xander. "I'm going to kill you!"

Xander pushed her off… or at least tried to. "Buffy, just trying to give you guys a normal night."

Buffy looked at him. "I'll get you back for this later. So, what are we going as?"

* * *

Buffy came into the shop with the rest of the scoobies. Giles looked at the girl behind the register well she's certainly not Ethan. "Excuse me Miss but are you the owner."

"He just went to lunch." The woman replied.

Xander looked at a blue tunic and pants with a yellow cape and boots that caught his attention. He also saw the sword and opened and closed it.

Cordy looked at it as well. "What the heck is that?"

Xander put the sword away. "That's Hiro from Lunar: Eternal Blue I don't think anyone but me has ever played that game."

"Close enough." Jonathan replied. Shame too it was a fun game.

Buffy looked around the store in awe it's a lot bigger then expected. "So are we doing separate costumes or one big group thing?"

"I say group thing." Willow replied it will be easier for her to blend in.

"Same here" Xander added.

It wasn't long until everyone agreed. Buffy smiled seeing at least that's out of the way. Now she faces a new problem. "So what are we going as?"

Everyone scratched their heads trying to get an idea.

"X-Men" Jonathan offered.

Buffy shakes her head. "No I don't think so. All I see are yellow raincoats in that department anyway."

Xander was ready to speak until Willow said. "Say Final Fantasy VII and I'll hurt you."

Xander looked at the group awkwardly thanks to Willow and said. "…Tattooed... Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills."

Xander held his head as a series of dope slaps to the back of the head came from Buffy, Willow, Jonathan, Cody and… what the? "Giles what did you hit me for?"

"If Willow was willing to hit you I'm sure I was justified." Giles replied.

Cordy brought the subject back on track. "Thankfully if we did lose our minds and agreed there were only four of them anyway." Cordy saw the looks from the others. "What, I can't have layers?"

Xander shrugged. "It's just you know more about the show then I do."

"So what else?" Cordelia asked quickly changing the subject.

Willow thought on it. "Well, we can dress the guys up as the ninja turtles."

Xander looked at her. "Almost worth it to see Angel in it but no."

Jenny let out a whistle getting all of the attention on her. "Guys why don't we just go as Superheroes. Buffy is pretty much a living one anyway."

Buffy shrugged. "OK it's not like I didn't know I was getting put in leather anyway."

"Hey at least it's not Spandex." Cordy offered as Xander frowned at her.

Willow looked at it and she can do super hero… maybe. "That sounds fun."

Jenny looked up at them. "So, that leaves one question. Do we go Justice League or Avengers?"

"Justice League!" Xander, Giles, and Jonathan replied simultaneously.

Buffy looked at them not believing how quick that came out. "OK why do you guys wanna be the Justice League?"

"Every guy on the planet from me to your precious Angel wants to be Batman." Xander explained.

Buffy shrugged well there's her payback. "Well why don't we let Angel be Batman… it fits after all."

Xander smiled oh all the digs he's going to get in tonight. "Yeah I agree on that."

With that everyone went their own way to get their own costume.

* * *

Xander smiled easily finding his costume. If you can't be Batman, be second rate Batman.

Cordy looked at the idiot wondering what things are with them after the incident with Darryl. He saved her life. She wanted there to be something but the idiot is oblivious to it. Since when is she Willow? She looked up and saw Black leather and a blonde wig. "Hello me for the night"

Xander looked at it. Cordy dressed as that! He officially can't wait for tonight!

Cordy looked at a locket with the costume and opened seeing a baby. "Huh, he's kind of a fat baby."

* * *

Jonathan looked around the store not seeing really anything for him. He stopped seeing a fake high end suit. Well if you already look the part.

Buffy came to the same spot with Willow looking the young man's costume. "I didn't realize James Bond was a member of the league."

Jonathan smiled looking away. "It's something like that. So what are you two wearing?"

Willow looked at something that will be perfect for her to hide through the night. She quickly took it off the shelf. "This, I will be Batgirl tonight."

Buffy glared at her. "Shouldn't I be wearing that?"

Willow looked at her. "So you want Angel to keep looking at you like you're a daughter figure?"

Buffy nodded. "Good point. Also valid… what am I going to wear?"

Jonathan looked at a costume and there's an idea… now how to not get beat to a pulp for recommending it? "Um… how about… t-t-t that one."

Buffy took the red and black costume off the rack and felt two cans of hair dye in it and a black mask with white paint. Buffy looked at then glared at the boy as Jonathan got weak at the knees. "That's brilliant it will also add to the forbidden enemy thing we got going on." She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you"

Jonathan smiled wiping at his cheek. Getting your head shaved, totally worth it.

* * *

Jenny smiled seeing the costume she was wearing and it was even a classy one as opposed to the usual getup she wears. The bottoms are almost like jeans to go along with the red and yellow top along with the lasso, crown, and a sword. "Well I found what I'm wearing. How about you English?"

Giles pulled up a suit and a revolver. "Yeah, I believe we're set."

Jenny looked at him. How did he do this? Him and pop culture are like an Amish farmer working at a power plant "Do you even know who you are? I mean… how, how did you get a costume so fast!"

Giles looked at her. "I know exactly who this is. He was one of my favorites even as a kid."

Jenny looked at it, who knew. "Is it weird how I'm more shocked you read a comic then the existence of vampires?"

* * *

Cordy walked the halls of Sunnydale furious. Here she is in black leather and her band leader boyfriend couldn't even bother to accompany her tonight. She walked into Oz and looked at him for a moment. "Oz, are you guys playing at the Bronze tonight?"

Oz nodded. "Yeah, nice costume by the way… not sure about the wig though."

Cordy looked him over. "Yeah your trash can looks good too."

Cordy glared at him remembering her reason for being there. "Is Mr. I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm-so-great-I-don't-have-to-show- up-for-my-date-or-even-call gonna be there?"

"Yeah, y'know he's just going by Devon now."

Cordy nodded. "Well he blew his shot he wants a Cordette he can try Harmony." With that Cordy leaves to join up with Xander and the others. Halloween, probably big vampire night so she intends to stay fused at the hip with Buffy tonight.

* * *

Xander walked into Sunnydale high with a smile on his face in his green getup complete with hood and mask. He smiled seeing Cordelia in black leather and a blond wig. "Wow, you look great."

Cordy looked at him. "Well you pull off the tights OK for a guy."

Xander rolled his eyes downtrodden. He friggin walked right into it. "And only about half of that was an insult."

Xander turned around and saw Willow walking in as Batgirl. Next to him Buffy dressed as a sexy jester in red and black lace skin tight shirt showing her navel and a v line up top and pants with white face paint, a domino mask and green and red hair. "Wow!"

Cordy rolled his eyes well that took real long. She watched as her date from a couple weeks ago came up in a suit that was way too nice for him. "Didn't you have hair when we went out?"

Jonathan just looked at her uncomfortably. She can't even remember his name? "I-i-it's complicated."

Xander looked behind him. "Guys heads on straight the teachers are com... Holy crap!"

Buffy turns around and sees Jenny in a red, yellow and blue suit with rope and sword… why didn't she think of her. Oh well real life Amazon trumps that. She's more shocked by Giles though seeing he dove into her bag of tricks by buying a fake mustache and dying it brown along with his hair for tonight. "Wow, you really went the extra mile for Halloween huh Giles?"

Giles looked himself over and shrugged. "First Halloween in America. Figured I should dress the part."

Willow cleared her throat getting everyone's attention. "Snyder"

The scoobies watched as Snyder led a small battalion of children to them. "OK with so many kids here we're going to divide you by pairs of adults."

Snyder looked at the two and this one seemed obvious to keep her safe. "Rosenberg, Giles, these are your kids. Rosenberg say whatever you want to them."

"Summers, when Harris' cousin gets here these will be your kids. Say nothing to them the last thing they need is your influence." Snyder ordered.

Snyder looked at the four remaining people. "Harris, Chase these are your kids take care of them Harris they each have a future more valuable then yours."

Xander glared at him if only one of the things on his back were real. "Sugar rushed kids and Cordelia Chase…" He looked up at the ceiling. "What did I ever do to you!?"

Snyder looked at the last two people here… are they even students. "You two… um the rest of the kids. Have a good night." Snyder left oblivious to the death glares of everyone over 15 and even everyone under 15.

* * *

That night Ethan's spell took hold on the town of Sunnydale. Xander looked around confused wondering where he is considering what happened last and said out loud. "OK, I figured there would be chicks with halos. Anyone want to tell me what this is?"

"Oliver I'd appreciate it if you'd get up off your ass and help me!"

Oliver Queen quickly turned around to a very familiar voice seeing three demons fighting a blond in black leather and fishnets. He quickly loaded up an arrow and aimed. "Dinah get down, and cover your ears."

Black Canary quickly ducked and covered her ears as the arrow landed next to the demons in a wall as a loud sound rang out through the arrow turning three demons into fleeing cowards holding their ears.

Dinah looked as the arrow turned down the volume. "Was that my cry? Since when did you become Batman?"

Oliver looked at her upset. Yes he used a lot of Bruce's mannerisms, a lot more then he realized actually, but he's nowhere near as crazy as him. "Hey! Until I have retinal scanning toilets you're not allowed to say that!"

Dinah got to her feet feeling the cold chill go down her spine. It can't be… She never… "H-h-how do you know that? I-I never told you. You can't know that!"

Oliver looked at her. He thinks he has a right to be more freaked out then she is. "Yes I can, I was right there when we used it."

Dinah approached him slowly for a moment before snatching one of his crossbows and aimed it at his stomach. "I swear to god if you're clay face?"

"Dinah it's me what's the matter with you?" Oliver asked.

Dinah just aimed it at his jugular. "When you apprehended Harley Quinn what was the much better name she gave for the Arrow cave?"

"Dinah…"

Dinah lightly tapped the trigger showing intent to kill with a click from the bow. "Answer me!"

Oliver's eyes widened his Canary will actually do it. "Quiver, she called it the quiver, which looking back now is a much better name."

Dinah dropped the crossbow to the floor. "Oh my god Ollie!" She quickly kissed him deeply and passionately coming up for breath after two minutes to catch their breath. "How is this possible?"

Oliver shook his head. "I-I don't know. Last thing I remember is shooting at Superman. Then getting pummeled by Superman and remembering how lucky I was to have had you in my life and then I was here. Thought I was dead"

Dinah smiled hearing that her Oliver's last thoughts were of her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Oliver replied easily enough.

They kissed as a seven foot demon came out and quickly broke up their touch for a moment. The giant demon was quickly tackled by all five feet of a girl dressed as a jester with a giant mallet. The jester quickly grabbed the mallet and brought it down on the giant demon's head as orange gunk splattered Oliver's and Dinah's boots.

The jester smiled mallet in grip. "Ah man look at my shoes, I thought that was the squeak mallet not the brains all over the place mallet."

Dinah rolled her eyes another blast form the past seeing the red and green haired jester. "Nice to see you Harlene."

Harley lit up in a smile seeing an old friend. "Yellow bird, I haven't seen you since Supes blasted a hole through your baby maker!"

Dinah looked at her it was her stomach for god sakes. "Um... yeah. Same to you."

Harlene turned and to her surprise saw the Green Arrow. "Sweet Stockholm you're alive!" She ran up and hit Oliver with a stiff right hand that sent Green Arrow into the air and crashing to the floor."

Green Arrow simply rubbed his jaw from the floor. Why does he feel like he just got punched by Superman again? "Owwwwwwwwww... how did little Harley Quinn pack so much power behind one punch."

"Because all good guys take sweet steroids now!" Harley replied seeing Oliver's confused face. "What we do." She turned to Dinah. "She took a couple before she fought Superman. Back me up Blondie."

Dinah rolled her eyes. "Its kryptonian nanotech Batman stole from Superman."

Oliver slowly got to his feet. "OK, so why did she hit me in the first place?"

"Because you're a deadbeat dad." Harley replied easily enough for her.

Oliver glared at her. "I'm not a deadbeat dad… just a dead person, there's a difference."

Harley pointed at him. "If you loved him you would have figured out a way to come back sooner."

Oliver just looked at the crazy woman. "I'm not a dad!" He turned to Dinah seeing her more uncomfortable by the second. "Am I?"

Dinah sighed and took a locket off her neck as she got closer to Oliver. She opened it and it revealed a picture of their son. "His name is Conner. I found out about him a little before your funeral."

Oliver looked at the picture gut checked. Like he was in a wrestling match and Roman Reigns blew his spot. "I-I'm a father."

Harley frowned as she joined the two looking at the picture seeing he honestly didn't know. "I had to buy him his first fake mustache."

Oliver frowned fighting back tears Superman only wishes his beating could have caused. "A father should always buy his son his first fake mustache."

Harley nodded. "I had to buy him first quiver too." Oliver somberly nodded. "And his first muzzle."

Oliver looked at her just like that taken out of the somber mood. "Wait you brought my kid a muzzle?"

Harley looked at him nervous. "Dinah liked it."

Oliver glared at the Black Canary whom quickly replied. "What, Harley made a good argument and it's stopped Conner from leveling Queen Mansion like five times already."

Oliver looked at her with a smile. "So that's what it took for you to move in?"

Dinah playfully rolled her eyes in a smile, god she missed this. "No, after Superman nearly killed me I realized I couldn't take chances like that. So Dr. Fate took me and Conner to another world where the me in that world was dead so that another Oliver and I could be a family. But we're more like co parents now because it didn't work out. We quickly realized accept no substitutions. I wasn't his Laurel and he wasn't my Ollie, he couldn't make me laugh."

Oliver frowned well he's back now but in case it's temporary. "Dinah I want you to find someone else. I don't want you to be alone if this is temporary."

Dinah smiled hearing those words she always knew it but it was nice to have confirmation, nothing to hold her back now. The other Ollie married a woman called Sara Lance in his world. Apparently she's her sister from another planet which led to a melee between the White Canary and the Black Canary, but that Oliver treats Conner like his own and it freed her to maybe try something more with Tommy Merlyn. Not that Oliver is ever going to find out she's dating a Merlyn.

Harley looked down at her waist. "Hey, I'm beeping." She took out the device Batman gave her for help and smiled. "We're not the only Insurgent people here."

Dinah looked at her crazy friend. "Lead the way."

* * *

Barbara Gordon looked around and smiled seeing the person in front of her with his back turned. "Dad!" The former Commissioner turned around and Willow smiled seeing him. "Daddy!"

Jim smiled seeing Barbara again… he's not exactly fond of what she is wearing at the current moment seeing the Batgirl costume. He was afraid of it but he can be proud of her too. "Barbara! Oh thank god! I thought the Regime had you."

"Broke out" Barbara replied.

Jim looked at her concerned. "And your new clothes."

Barbara looked up not sure what to say. "Dinah died, Helena died, you died, Bruce was forced so far below ground he probably had to look up at the devil. I couldn't just be Oracle anymore. The world needed more then tech support it needed a bat. I know you're mad I just… " Barbara stayed in the hug happy for a moment.

Jim looked at his daughter with a smile. Standing up to someone bigger then you, of all the times to take his words to heart she chooses now. He just tightens his grip a little. "I'm so proud of you."

* * *

Oliver walked leading ahead. What's the worst that could happen? He's already dead.

Harley looked up at the sky keeping both eyes open.

Black Canary walked slowly at the back. "Guys heads up someone is here."

Oliver quickly loaded an arrow and Harley grabbed her mallet.

"Oliver, Laurel. Oh thank god I thought I was the only one here."

Harley let out a wide grin. She thought she was the only one as she turned around. "Hey! You guys can hear the voices in your head too!"

"Oh, sorry, just give me a minute."

Oliver nearly jumped back a foot while Dinah laughed at the Green Arrow as someone the size of an ant became a full grown man. Oliver looked in confusion at the man in the red and blue suit and asked. "Since when is the ATOM Iron Man?"

Ray Palmer looked at Oliver Queen in surprise. "Since when does Green Arrow have a beard? Well except for that one time in 2046."

"I've always had this beard." Oliver replied offended. "I've had this beard since I was eighteen women love the beard."

Dinah rolled her eyes. "Oliver… look at the tin can… he's obviously from a different world."

Ray nodded as he understood it immediately. "OK so not only is time travel a thing now I'm looking at proof of multiverse theory. OK."

Dinah looked at him. "Just like that?"

Ray nodded. "I went to 2046. I went to a 2100 world that went to hell cause of my idiot brother. I lived two years in the 1950's that was fun though that could be because I was a white guy. After I went through all that I have to say multiverse theory not really that big of a thing to me."

Harley looked at this thing Bats gave her and smacked it a couple times. "Hey! According to this there's another insurgent coming our away… I think."

Dinah looked at her. "Do you even know how that works?"

Harley looked at her. "To answer that question I bring up my opening salvo in the lantern battle."

Oliver looked to Dinah confused although he's guessing the Lantern battle was Oa having enough of Clark's crap. "What did she do?"

"I blew myself up. It was awesome." Harley added with a smile.

"You guys are very social for a night like this." The four turn around and Barbara looked around and saw Green Arrow, The Black Canary, and… Robocop with a bad paint job? Whatever, she runs to Dinah and the blond easily catches on trying to stop her from hugging her but no go.

Oliver looked at Batgirl. "Since when does Bruce have boobs? Who are you?"

Dinah looked uneasy at this awkward situation. "I was going to ask the same thing."

Barbara looked at her and quickly caught on. "Oh right, I'm sorry Dinah. Just after you and dad died in the lantern battle I gave up Oracle and became Batgirl. Figured it was about time I stopped sitting on my ass."

Dinah smiled catching on. "Barbara!" She gently lifted her mask up hugged and gently gave a kiss on her lips.

Oliver looked at her shocked with Ray. The Green Arrow was the first to regain his voice. "Hey!"

Dinah pointed at him. "Its fine Ollie she's the five percent I warned you about when we started dating."

Oliver nodded. "Right, then in that case glad you got to see her again."

Commissioner Gordon let something of a growl or snort at the Green Arrow causing him to look away uncomfortable.

Harley let out a smile thinking of happier times. "Red was my ten percent. Till that Amazon showed up and strangled her with a line of thorns."

Oliver looked at her. He knows he's going to regret this but he has to know. "OK I know I'm gonna regret this but how does your percentage work?"

Harley put a finger to her lips like she was pondering the secrets of the universe. "Hmm let's see Lucy 43%, Mr. J 42%, Red 10%, you 5%."

Oliver looked at her flabbergasted. "H-h-how do I fit into this!"

"Stockholm baby!" Harley replied. "Which reminds me!"

Oliver's eyes widen. "No, no I'm taken by a pretty bi…"

Harley wrapped her arms around and kissed him deeply as Oliver struggled to break free in an amusing display.

Ray let out a smile in disbelief. He quips, he smiles, he likes this version of Oliver Queen more then the friend he left back home. "Clown lady, Black Canary isn't too happy with you at the moment."

Harley broke free and Oliver quickly ran behind Dinah. "Sorry, just never seeing myself getting a chance to do that again."

Dinah looked at her trying to figure out something to say but decided to roll with the punches. "It's fine besides he caused the Stockholm by locking you in the Quiver."

Oliver pointed at her. "I'm not calling it that. I never did."

"It fits Ollie." Dinah replied. "So are you done kissing Harley?"

Oliver looked at her. "Says the woman who made out with the sixteen year old Superboy."

Dinah blushed something fierce seeing Barbara look at her in confusion. Gordon looked at her with a disapproving glare and Harley with a questioning smirk. "I-I-I never… that was Miss Martian" At that Oliver the last bit of control he had as her burst out laughing causing Dinah to glare at her man whom no one else can succeed in riling her up like that and shout. "Oliver this is not funny!"

"Yes it is!" Harley countered having her own laugh as well.

Barbara looked at them. "OK as fun as this catch up is. I think we should focus on that last signal before the Regime finds him or her."

Dinah nodded. "Lead the way."

* * *

Barbara led the small army of insurgency soldiers and ghosts and stopped seeing the reason they're here. "Oh good, he's still alive."

Ray looked at the other man concerned so much black. He turned to Barbara. "What is he your doppelganger? Because Oliver's doppelganger dresses in black."

Oliver had a smile. "Yes he is. We have to knock him out but he'll see us coming from a mile away."

"I got it. Trust me he won't see me coming." Ray assured him as he hit the shrink button now only coming up to the bottom of their of their shoes. Ray flew into the air with a jet system to sneak attack the giant man bat. Just hit him with hard light and knock him out cold. Ray got closer to the cape and once he did the bat turned around with a weapon in hand. "Oh crap did he hear me!"

Batman quickly fired his weapon as Ray blasted with gray foam that knocked him to the floor causing the others to laugh.

Ray looked up from his spot on the floor. No way is that guy human! He just hit the button on his suit to grow back with slight foam covering his suit. "Ah, owww."

Batman looked at this new version of the Atom and turned to the Green Arrow. "Is there a reason you sent him after me Oliver?"

Oliver gave an innocent shrug. "I'm dead and have a son I might never meet I needed a laugh and knew you wouldn't hurt him."

Ray finished getting the last of the junk off his suit. "Wait you know this guy?"

"Yeah, it's Batman how do you not know Batman?" Oliver asked.

Ray looked at the cloaked figure's scowl. "Well if the scowl is any indication you're Batman in our world."

Oliver scowled as the Black Canary laughed just imagining it causing Oliver to reply. "I-I hate your world. Your world sucks." He turns to Batman no way is he him. "You got anything to say about this bit of information."

Batman looked at him for a moment before just replying. "It's good to see you again Oliver…" Batman shot his head straight up to the roof.

Oliver rolled his eyes. This close to a compliment from Batman… and then the roof is apparently a thing. "What's your… dear god no… Dinah run!"

Dinah shook her head. "Last time I left you alone you died on me. I'm fighting with you this time."

Ray looked and saw the rest of them terrified. He looked up and saw two people one was a bald man in a fine looking suit the other one was a statuesque black haired woman dressed in red boots, blue pants, and a cleavage showing strapless top that resembled the American flag. "OK, why is everyone afraid of a bald guy?"

Harley shook her head. "No one's afraid of a bald guy, we're all terrified of Superman's living fuck toy."

Dinah just grabbed the top of her head feeling a migraine coming. "Harley!"

Harley looked at Black Canary and caught on. "Oh right you're a mother now, so that's probably offensive." She turned to Ray. "We're all afraid of Superman's rebound girl…" She turned to Dinah. "Better?"

Dinah looked at the girl before weakly getting out. "Yes" She turned to Ray. "We're afraid of Wonder Woman. She's stronger then all of us combined and is as good of a fighter if not better then I am."

Ray looked up with now a similar fear. In his eyes he's fighting a Mirakuru powered Sara during a bloodlust episode.

Lex looked down almost relieved Batman has figured out a way to restore some of his allies.

Diana looked down with a smile. "It seemed like a poorly thought out plan Bruce. You waste resurrections on people like this instead of a couple green lanterns."

Oliver looked at her did she always have that dark look in her eyes. He's seen it before from her. He wonders how they missed it but it doesn't matter now. "Diana, look at us. We're working with Harley Quinn and an Atom no one even knows what part of this says well thought out?"

Diana jumped from the roof and on to the floor as the bald man climbed down the fire escape. "Well look at this. Harley Quinn, Barbara Gordon, and Bruce Wayne the three main leads in the insurgency, I don't take it I can convince the three of you to go in willingly. I'm assuming Bruce is the one who brought us here."

Bruce looked coldly at someone they considered a friend. "Not me, and you know I can't stop."

Diana glared at her former friend. "Then I have no choice."

Oliver quickly loaded up an arrow. "Shocker there lady!" He shot the arrow and Diana easily deflected with her bracelets.

Gordon and Harley quickly pulled out three handguns between the two. They each fired everything they had at the Amazon only for her to deflect each blast.

Ray quickly fired a shot of light at her for the same result. "OK, those things do not obey the laws of physics, like at all."

Oliver nodded in agreement watching Diana jump down. "Any form of a plan?"

"Batgirl takes on Luthor everyone else try to live." Batman ordered.

Oliver groaned in defeat he's dying again. "Does anyone have a good plan?"

Ray nodded. "I got her." He shot a pink beam of energy from his arm that hit one of Diana's bracelets. Diana smirked but then backed away from the beam. Ray fired again and Diana dodged the attack. "Don't think that's going to work twice."

* * *

Barbara ran to the building and shot a grapple up and climbed the building meeting Luthor half way trough the fire escape. She looked at Luthor. Barbara quickly took a fighting stance as Luthor did the same. They looked at each other fists up until Barbara said. "We're still friends right?"

Lex smiled. "Depends on if you're on the pill when you knock me out?"

Barbara smiled and threw two punches Lex easily caught. She quickly kicked him in the gut and jumped into the air catching the bald billionaire with two feet to the face knocking him out and leaving one hell of a convincing bruise. If only the others had it this easy.

* * *

Ray slammed into the wall with a thud and fell to the floor. "OK, this isn't going well."

Oliver got slammed into the wall with a similar thud and fell. "What was your first clue man?"

Ray watched as Gordon and Harley shot at her only to have the bullets deflected. Batman used a grappling hook on her arm and she simply flung him into the air. The good guys finally got a modicum of offense in thanks to Dinah with her Canary cry as the sonic booms left her voice and leveled the block they were on as the heroes held their ears and fell to the floor as glass and concrete crumbled. She hated using it that close but it's better then Diana killing everyone and claiming she had no choice.

Oliver shook his head trying to get the ringing out. "OK, I see the merit in the muzzle. Dinah can't shout forever we need to do something."

Ray nodded not wanting to lose another one. "We can't do anything as long as she's wearing those bracelets. I can do something about the bracelets but she can see me coming from a mile away."

Bruce let out a rare smile getting to work with old friends again that shouldn't be possible. "Then she doesn't see you. Oliver."

* * *

Barbara quickly joined the battlefield as Dinah gasped for breath. She jumped at the Amazon but was easily thrown away.

Diana quickly flew over and grabbed the Black Canary by the throat. "This time I'll make sure you die." Harley ran at her with a mallet but the queen of the amazons simply smacked her away. Gordon ran firing shots but Diana blocked each one with one gauntlet as she threw her lasso around Dinah's neck. She simply grabbed Gordon by the throat with the other hand and lifted both into the air by flying as Dinah quickly went limp.

Oliver quickly loaded two arrows and fired with each hand full Diana had no choice but to drop her hostages at the very last second and catch each arrow.

Oliver smiled seeing it worked. "Yes!" Diana watched as the arrows started to blink and moved them away from her face as two harmless explosions went off away from her face causing Green arrow to shout. "Damn it!"

Diana snarled at the emerald archer. "Is that the best you can do?"

Oliver quickly loaded up another arrow. "No!"

Diana waited to see the fools next move as a combination of metallic balls were thrown at the Amazon leaving her in a smokescreen. "Bruce!"

Oliver watched with a smile even for him this should be fun as he looks at his arrow. "Are you ready?"

As he laid down stomach first on the arrowhead in micro form Ray did his best at a stoic voice. All of the sudden he really wants to go back home and see if his Oliver would try something this crazy. "Yeah, yeah I'm good, I'm good. Let's do this fun Ollie, lets go, lets lets go, lets go!"

Oliver quickly fired into the smokescreen as a loud round of explosions rattled through it as a calm satisfied smile spread across his face until a crown flew out of the smoke storm and cracked him across the face.

Diana walked from the smokescreen her clothes torn from the explosives. "You were always clever Ollie…" Diana shouted in surprise when one of her Amazonian bracelets broke right off her wrist snapping in half. "What!" She groaned in pain as the other one quickly followed suit aqueezing across her wrist until it broke in half and realized. "The tin can… where are you? Who are you to stand in the way of justice?"

Ray looked at her eye to micro eye. Yeah she's a champion of the people alright. He readied a blast and shot her in the face wobbling her to her knees. He simply cracked his knuckles and flew right at her combining his micro superstrength with the energy blasts each fist hits like a car.

Diana's face plowed to the right and then reeled as if she was getting uppercut by an invisible opponent. She tried to get up was hit with a left and the right again as Ray just kept swinging. Diana quickly closed her eyes and took a calming breath trying to ignore the bruises that are surely forming from this as Ray continues hitting her. This can not be Ray Palmer. She got her eyes to focus and finally saw a little spec of an insect flying at her with rockets. She quickly shoved her palm out and the next thing the insurgency saw was a tiny little dent on a car for no reason until Ray grew to normal size directly under it.

The Atom looked at the Amazon with a satisfied smile given how much of a beating she took he's glad he lasted as long as he did. "You're lucky I don't have the wave rider… if I could reverse… I'd kick… ahh sleepy." He passed out.

"I think that's it for the Atom." Ollie quipped.

Batman and Batgirl flung a small array of batarangs at the Amazon but Diana easily dodged them. They're going to have to try a lot harder.

Diana picked a rock up and threw it at the two bats as they dodged out of the way unfortunately right into a Harley who didn't have time to defend herself as it knocked her out cold.

Batgirl and Batman went for the next gadget as Wonder Woman just grabbed a car and threw it at them. Why did it take so long to remember she had Super Strength? Batman and Batgirl quickly ran over the car and landed safely. With both Bats distracted she threw the crown and as she thought Batman got his scallops up to block it which sadly sent it right against Barbara's head.

Diana smiled and pulled her sword as she lunged for Batman. Oliver loaded up an arrow but Diana blocked with her sword and easily dodged a couple attacks from Bruce as she ran her Amazonian metal sword sword right through Bruce's heart watching Batman fall to the floor dead. No prep time the best way to kill Batman is to remember he's still human just rush in and kill him don't give him time to think. She looked and felt no remorse for what was once a battlefield comrade. "And here lies the last piece of the insurgency."

Oliver watched in shock no epic moment no last goodbye as Bruce just slumped to the floor. He figured Batman would be harder to kill. He quickly notched an arrow and shot Wonder Woman in the back.

Diana fell to a knee but pulled the arrow out. "Oliver, you're still here."

Oliver quickly loaded up two more arrows. He might be already dead but it doesn't mean he can't take her with him.

Diana quickly caught an arrow in each hand and threw them aside. "Oliver, this is idiotic."

Oliver quickly loaded up three more arrows as Diana's eyes widened. Oliver quickly fired and while Diana caught two the third went into her shoulder forcing Wonder Woman to drop her sword.

Diana ripped the arrow out of her shoulder and glared at him. "Do you think I need a weapon to kill you?"

"I was kind of hoping you would." Oliver quipped. He went for the arsenal and his eyes widened. He has nothing but gimmick arrows now great. He rushed her bow in hand using it as a melee weapon along with punches and kicks. Problem is as far gone as Diana is she's still Queen of the Amazons. Probably because she murdered Hippolyta but still queen.

Diana dodged each attack until she caught the bow with her left hand and punched Oliver in the stomach winding the archer whom was looking at the floor. "I'm sorry it has to… gah"

"Gah" Oliver looked up and saw Diana with her own lasso around her neck being pulled to a pissed off and recovered Dinah.

Dinah dragged the Lasso till Diana was right next to her and grabbed any black hair she could so she could bring the Amazon to a perfect level for a face to face as Black Canary growled out. "Wanna hear a secret?"

Dinah shouted with all she had as Diana was forced to hold her ears. She struggled against the lasso but couldn't get out. She saw her opening however and grabbed Dinah's leg easily throwing her into the air with superhuman strength her smile quickly faded once she saw Dinah tied the other end of the lasso to her own wrist. "Crap!" Both girls were flung into the air.

Oliver's eyes widened seeing the two fall. He quickly grabs an arrow from the quiver and shoots it at Dinah's feet. Oliver watched the arrow go up and took a sigh of relief seeing something like a giant air mattress come out as Dinah hit with a comfortable landing as Diana crashed through the sidewalk.

Dinah opened her eyes wondering why she isn't goo on the sidewalk. She smiled seeing the mattress. Not even close to the first time she's landed on this. She smiled in relief taking the lasso off until Diana jumped out of the sewers below.

Oliver quickly ran for Dinah as Black Canary and Green Arrow let out a mad blitz attack rushing Diana, Oliver rushing a flurry of punches and kicks while ineffective Diana is so focused on his rush it makes it easy for Dinah to hit her at some key points as her foot connects with her knee buckling the Amazon followed by an elbow across her face. Diana quickly switched to Dinah so Ollie threw his promethium long bow to Canary allowing Dinah to block each of Diana's strikes. Oliver quickly connected with two punches to her face as Dinah quickly struck Diana's good leg with the bow and a jump kick knocking Diana back as she threw the bow back to Oliver whom quickly notched an arrow and shot it at Diana causing an explosion that knocked her back and to the floor.

Diana looked at them from the floor. She forgot how skilled of a fighter Dinah really is. Guess that's what happened when she's been dead for three years. She looked at the ground and saw one the arrows deflected earlier in the fight. She grabbed the arrow and threw it.

Oliver saw the arrow go and shoved Dinah out of the way as the arrow went into his left hand so deep it went straight through getting stuck in the hand.

Dinah quickly pulled herself up seeing Oliver hold his hand and Diana limping in their direction the lasso still around her neck. Dinah ran right at Diana until she was within punching distance. Diana smiled but her eyes only widened when Dinah went into a baseball slide through her legs grabbing the lasso the pull forcing Diana down face first. .

Dinah quickly jumped on Diana's back and wrapped the lasso around one arm and shouted full blast in her ears as Diana was stuck on the floor letting Dinah tie her at the arms and waist. Diana wrestled with her back and Dinah rolled off having no reason to stay there.

The Amazon used her bad knees but got up all the same. "You think my own lasso can hold me?"

Dinah shook her head. "No, but I do know it takes your full power to break it and Green Arrow has a lot of gadgets."

Diana turned to look behind her and saw Green Arrow with his bow in one hand, two arrows and the string in his mouth. The Amazon looked at him in disbelief. "Well at least someone found a way to shut him up."

"Bery Puddy" Oliver gagged in response before firing the arrow. Upon impact each arrow let out six thin wires. One set around her waist and the others at her legs tying her up completely. "Plutonium lines to go with your lasso, have fun with that,"

To the surprise of both of them Harley ran forward and hit Diana with her mallet. With no way of defending herself Diana dropped like a ton of bricks.

Dinah glared at her. "What did you do that for she was already captured?"

"I don't care… rocks hurt." Harley countered as she held her head for a moment and Buffy looked at Xander and Cordelia. "Oh my god are you guys OK?"

Xander moved his arm up and down with a toy arrow now stuck in his hand. "Yeah, might need to get to a hospital though."

Buffy eyes widened. "Oh my god Angel!" She ran right for him and quickly freed him of the cowl looking at the blood pouring from his mouth. "Oh god just hang on don't die."

Angel just grabbed her arms and stopped. Slayer strength shaking him really not that good for the gaping chest wound he has right now. "Yeah you can't really kill someone already dead with a sword. Decapitation not withstanding."

Jonathan hopped down and looked at Ms. Calendar bound in three different ropes. "Are you ok?"

Jenny shook her head. "I think one of my legs are broken, what happened to you?"

Jonathan looked away. "Batgirl is a very skillful fighter."

Giles started recovering as did the boy who dressed as the Atom. Giles looked at it the one night he got to be commissioner Gordon and their opponent was an evil Wonder Woman how was that fair?

Cordy looked at the guy dressed as the Atom. "Oz? Is that you in there?"

"More or less, so did anyone else notice we became our costumes and went to war on each other?" The musician asked.

Xander nodded sitting down. "It's a Sunnydale thing. Can you check on my best friend some of us have to go to the hospital."

Oz walked over to the only person still unconscious. He reached for her mask and took it off and looked at her in surprise as he gently woke her up. "It's you!"

Willow looked at him confused. "Me who?"

Oz looked at her nervously. "The costume party, the Eskimo, I wanted to talk to you but you ran off."

Willow smiled. "Oh yeah, that's me. Willow is me, someone stop me."

Oz shook his head. "Nah, I like it, I'm Oz."

"Willow, is me… ughh"

Oz took a moment and laughed. Life's too short; some damn Mirakuru soldier could just show up and ruin your life. "OK, Willow, I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.

Willow looked at him nervously and turned to Xander seeing him and Cordy having a war of words. It's never her and maybe in a horrible way Buffy was showing her to move on at the start of the year. As she undid an entire summer's work with one little dance. She can't wait for Xander anymore. She turns to Oz decision made. "Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes."

Oz smiled. "Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone." Willow smiled as he continued. "Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?"

"Yes." Willow replied.

Xander walked away from the two looking at his arm. What the hell is he supposed to tell a doctor about this?

"You should get that out of you." Cordy ordered.

Xander turned around and looked at Cordy. "Really, I was thinking of getting a coat hook it seemed like such a convenient place to keep my jacket at School."

Cordy rolled her eyes. "I mean little kids germs and slobber. Now hold still dweeb."

Xander backed up. "You're not touching the arrow."

Cordy looked at him. "You have the same memories I do how many times did Dinah have to pull these out of Ollie because of Merlyn or Komodo."

Xander sighed. "Alright."

Cordy smiled holding the arrow. "Ready?"

Xander nodded waiting for the inevitable pain.

Cordy feigned to pull it and quickly used her one free arm to pull Xander into a kiss. Xander immediately deepened it to her surprise but well it will keep him more distracted. She quickly pulls the arrow out and Xander doesn't even flinch as she throws it to the ground and gets her other hand on him. Life's too short to worry about others. If he wants more great if he doesn't he's a loser and her friends would never believe him.

Buffy looked at the scene in disbelief what happened tonight? "Hey, guys?"

Xander and Cordy turned around and saw Buffy as they broke apart.

Buffy looked at them with a smile. There's definitely going to be interesting times ahead. "I think we should get the wounded to he hospital."

Cordy walked with Xander as Giles carried Jenny in a bridal carry.

* * *

 **Three Weeks Later**

Xander and Cordy rushed Buffy in a frantic attack. Halloween ended up being a night full of surprises. Jenny kept her Amazonian strength. Xander has become a lethal weapon with a long bow. Having a commissioner in his mind has also opened Giles eyes to an unknown danger in Sunnydale. The cops are in with the demons. He doesn't know how far it goes but that news was more then enough for Cordy to accept Dinah's leftovers and embrace training with the scoobies.

Buffy knocked Xander aside and caught Cordelia in a wrist lock from behind. "Say uncle!"

"Get off me." Cordy ordered. "I'm not a cry Buffy."

Buffy tightened her grip as Cordy wince in pain.

Cordy let out a low growl and barked. "Let go!" Xander went to run interference but was knocked into the air into the bookcase that toppled over as all the windows and broke in front of Cordelia. Cordy quickly covered her mouth with her one hand as Buffy broke the hold.

Buffy quickly shot up. "OK, guess that's another thing to add to Halloween leftovers."

Cordy quickly ran over to Xander. "Don't be dead, and don't be deaf. You're the only good vocal sparring partner I got."

"I heard that so I'm going to assume that's a good sign." Xander replied.

Buffy helped him up. "Cordy's a screamer that should make things interesting."

Cordy glared at her but to her surprise it was Xander that spoke next. "Buff keep in mind I'm figuring out the arrowheads I already have a tazer bolt. I'm not beyond shooting you and watching you twitch for my own sick amusement."

Cordy smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

Xander looked at her confused. "What was that for?"

"For something I didn't think would ever happen." Cordy replied.

The four were cutoff by Oz and Willow running into the door. Willow looked at them in disbelief. "Guys, you gotta see this."

* * *

The group went out to the football field and Xander's eyes widened seeing a very tiny running back. "Please tell me that's not Jonathan."

"Keep watching" Willow insisted.

Xander watched as Quarterback Eric handed the ball to Jonathan. Funeral in 3… 2… 1. Jonathan just ran right through two linebackers unopposed and shrugged off each tackle. "He figured out the pill."

"He figured out the pill." Willow finished.

Xander smiled for the first time ever things are looking up in Sunnydale. Demons beware!

* * *

 _Buffy frowned seeing the credits. "Well that was entertaining and horrifying at the same time."_

 _Willow nodded. "I would have liked to have seen the aftermath of some of those but I can't really complain." She turned to Xander. "Thank you for this."_

 _Xander nodded happily. "Glad you guys liked it."_

 _Buffy got to her feet with a smile. "Yeah it was fun, especially when you got turned into a blond chick."_

 _Xander nodded. "That's OK you made one hell of a Catwoman… could have done without the Deadpool chapter though."_

 _Willow smiled and dialed a number on her cell phone. She waited patiently as the other side picked up. "Yeah, sorry that went so long. Movies done can I get a lift home since I'm going no personal gain on magic? Thank you."_

 _Buffy smiled and just sent out a text message. Much easier. "Thank you Xander for the fun night. We really have to do this more often. Just the three of us"_

 _Xander smiled and hugged his girls… well two of his girls. "Definitely."_

 _Before long a car pulled up and Willow smiled seeing her wife drive up. She turned to her friends and time keeps going forward. "Well I'll see you guys on Christmas if not before that."_

 _Buffy shook her head. "Be long before that." Buffy and Xander smiled seeing Willow get into the car. Her smile growing that much wider as Buffy asked Xander. "Can you still believe it's the two of them?"_

 _Xander shook his head. "No, I never can and never will." He smiled seeing a white car pull up. "This one saw coming although Scooby Doo made it much creepier."_

 _Buffy rolled her eyes. He's been holding onto this one since the day they met. "Xander I swear to god that is not Fred from Scooby Doo."_

 _"So you say. But that timeline match up is creepy" Xander countered._

 _Buffy glared at him. "I was really dead not filming the Scooby Doo movie as Daphne!"_

 _"So you say." Xander repeated. Before the two lost all composure and shared a laugh._

 _Buffy smiled never having thought she could have a laugh at that event in her life. She quickly gave Xander a peck on the cheek. "It was nice seeing you again. We gotta see each other more often."_

 _"Here, here, Goodbye Buffy." Xander replied holding the door open for her and giving one last wave out the door._

* * *

 _Xander smiled getting a tray of doughnuts, cookies, and whipped cream from the fridge getting ready for the last person to come in tonight as a voice says._

 _"Honey, I'm home."_

 _Xander smiled bringing the tray in and saw Faith as beautiful as ever. He's convinced slayer healing kicks ageing in the ass and goes no. "How is it that we've been married all this time and you can still weird me out by saying that?"_

 _Faith smirked wrapping her arms around the back of his neck. "It's a gift. So what'd you do tonight?"_

 _Xander looked at her with an innocent look. "Oh you know spent the night with Buffy and Willow after going to the last video store on the planet."_

 _Faith's eyes widened and her smile grew even wider. "Oh you didn't!"_

 _Xander held out the other DVD he picked up tonight. "I did. Even purchased it before I rented another one. Don't you dare tell the others?"_

 _Faith quickly snatched it out of his hands and popped it in taking a seat. "My lips are sealed."_

 _Xander sat on the couch and wrapped his arms around her. "Why do you like this thing so much? I get a lot of laughs and other feelings especially watching with you but there's gotta be something else."_

 _Faith leaned back and laughed. "I get a laugh seeing Busty B tongue stake female vampires."_

 _Xander looked at her cautiously. "Was there ever any… tongue staking between the two of you?"_

 _Faith leaned back into her husband a satisfied smile on her face. "That's between me and her."_

 _Xander looked at her in a childish smile. "Not a no."_

 _"Not a yes either." Faith finished hitting play._

 _Xander kissed his wife on the forehead wondering how many seconds they'll actually watch this time. He's not sure if he'll ever see a DVD like the one he just watched with Buffy and Willow again. But there will always be more stories._

* * *

 **The longest Author Notes I've ever done.**

All the character costumes in this chapter are owned by DC.

Thank you to everyone who stuck through over half a year of Scoobyween. Ever since the first set it seems like my life goes to hell in October and downward from there. So more then likely no Scoobyween tales this year. To say I've fallen behind on other stories is an understatement and I am burned out on yahf. But one day some of the chapters here will be full stories

* * *

As for this last chapter (massive Arrow Spoilers below along with me venting feel free to ignore)

Screw the writers of Arrow. This chapter started off as the same finale as the original only Justice League instead of Avengers. However after the god awful crap storm that was eleven fifty nine. I needed a Green Arrow Black Canary fic. I wanted not only Black Canary but the real god damn Green Arrow, not this broody about darkness love sick puppy that would make Harley Quinn scream you have issues.

Eleven Fifty Nine featured the tragic end of Black Canary at the hands of Marc the Olicity mark. She didn't die at the end of the road to a wonderfully developed character she died because Marc realized 'oh crap it's the end of the season someone has to go in the grave now. We'll make it Laurel and just say arrow is our own thing.' Hell her dying words weren't a message to her family or her friends or even something personal between her and Ollie. They were essentially. "You should screw Felicity for the rest of your life."

YOU NEVER have a character die you like that you plan it out. In a good example Joss Whedon whom had most character deaths planned out so far ahead of time to the point that he actually had to keep the character going long after they were planned to be killed before dropping the death… not einy meiny not felicity.

It was a joy to finally… finally see a real Black Canary rise up on live action after the crap Birds of Pray gave us. To see her start as a standard CW love interest knowing she can be more, then to a drunk but then grow more and more into a badass mix of Dinah Laurel Lance and Kate Spencer. From all the teachers to defense classes, to Ted, to Nyssa, to Oliver. To see her grow up and then nope gone because why not. And I thought what happened to Lian was the worst thing that could happen to a Green Arrow character boy was I wrong.

Then Oliver the Green Arrow INO. He quips so much more… wait no he doesn't… He smiles… no he doesn't, yeah INO. The one thing they got right is he usually doesn't kill except for the seasonal Big Bad where it's necessary. Oh wait my bad no he still lets Merlyn live again and again. The man who's killed his father, one Lance he loved, assisted in the other Lance he loved, turned his sister into a killer and has shown to care about nothing but himself time and time again. Green Arrow when someone he cares about is hurt puts up an arrow and if you're lucky he'll just hold you hostage until they pull through. If they don't… He's not Batman as a certain villain could tell you assuming the arrow didn't knock his teeth out when it went into the back of his skull.

Add in the sub par finale as the last string cut and sadly I have no interest in season 5. Thank you writers for making Arrow what might be the first show I ever bailed on. And if you're still here thanks for reading that.


End file.
